The Top

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In the doghouse

By Anonymous - 14/10/2024 16:00

Today, my toddler started running around the house yelling, "Daddy said a bad word!" over and over again. I don't even know what I allegedly said, but now my wife is giving me the "we need to talk" look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 101

You OK, mate?

By Anonymous - 20/05/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I have genuinely lost a day out of my week. It is currently Sunday, but yesterday I was at work on Friday, so where did my Saturday go? I genuinely have no memory of Saturday. I went to bed Friday and woke up Sunday, and now I’m scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 72

I mean…

By Anonymous - 16/12/2020 01:57

Today, I finally noticed that my new coworker, with whom I have to share an office, starts every sentence with, "I mean…", then a pause, then says whatever he has to say. I can't un-notice it now, and it's like hearing nails on a chalkboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 147

Hustlers University

By jpaylay - 20/05/2023 01:00

Today, I was told it was “disgusting” that we charged $1.75 for 2 donuts instead of 3 for the same price. I had to throw them out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 100

Wake up call

By Anonymous - 22/05/2026 20:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 87

Trauma dumping

By WHYWORLDWHY - 27/05/2023 03:00 - Canada - Milton

Today, my father forced me to go to therapy, then dumped out everything I made there into our sink. Apparently, I'm "not a batshit crazy psycho who needed to go to therapy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 115

Thanks, I hate it!

By Anonymous - 25/05/2026 12:00 - United States - Center Line

Today, I got my mom (who is a diabetic) a set of sugar-free chocolates for Mother's Day. Everything was fine on that day, and my mom decided to share them since I bought a good sized box. I was perfectly fine, but my mom had explosive diarrhea for the rest of the day. I'll never buy THOSE again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 105

End student debt

By Reluctant Scholar - 09/03/2022 02:00 - United States - Bloomington

Today, I'm in a US college. I could've gone into a trade or internship, but no one listened. Now, while my parents brag to their friends that their child has a degree, I'll probably be spending the rest of life in crippling debt, sleeping on the side of the road, and begging strangers for table scraps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 266

You deserved it 506

Today, on The Love Boat…

By Nicky - 22/10/2024 00:00 - United States - Farmington

Today, my husband is miserable. He couldn't sleep. He tried to make me feel bad for sleeping through the night. I was medicated from a brain scan. His is work is horrible, and no one understands, etc. He's mad that I took a walk. Now, as I am frustrated and crying, he is laughing on the phone with his coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 110

Audible readers empathize

By Anonymous - 28/05/2023 12:00 - Australia

Today, It's been a few months since I started reading the Harry Potter books to my daughter. She told me a list of all her favorite characters. I didn't have the heart to tell her that every single one of them dies by the end of the seventh book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 747

You deserved it 223

Disproportionate responses are the new black

By Anonymous - 25/10/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son nearly burned the house down with a lighter and an aerosol. His excuse? He was killing a massive spider carrying an egg sack. My wife hates spiders so she refuses to punish him and gave him £20. But sure, dear old Dad will spend money replacing the wallpaper and curtains, no problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 97

Just a dream…

By alaska - 30/05/2026 03:00 - United States - Aurora

Today, I had a dream that my mom hugged me and told me she loved me. I woke up to her banging on my door, barging into my room, inspecting it, and then telling me to “just fucking kill yourself, because you're genuinely a bad person” before slamming my door. My room was perfectly clean and tidy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 70

Get on with it

By Anonymous - 04/03/2022 14:00 - Malaysia - Shah Alam

Today, my superior, who went to meet with client yesterday, told me I needed to prepare a detailed list of changes to enhance the design of a marketing video, and refused to tell me the client's feedback they received, then told me I should figure it out myself. It's the weekend, and they want it by Monday morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 82

Bad day

By it hurts!! - 30/05/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I double checked with the barista to make sure my latte had soy milk. After a few sips, I could tell it wasn’t but it was too late. I’m so sensitive to dairy, I spent the rest of my work day trying to stifle the gut busting cramps and noxious fumes. I had a meeting I couldn’t reschedule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 170

Stop that now

By Soo - 24/12/2020 08:04 - Spain - Archidona

Today, I saw my 4 year-old daughter singing and dancing, so I decided to sing along. As soon as I started singing she said, without blinking her eyes and super calmly, "Could you please stop doing that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 284

Swindled

By Anonymous - 05/04/2022 18:00

Today, I found out that a two-day job I helped my dad do for his old friend was actually a job for a real customer, who paid my dad £4500. All I got for my two days work was coffee and Co-op sandwiches for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 304

You deserved it 144

Pizzagate

By Drama - 27/10/2024 15:00 - United States - Miami

Today, after I'd decided to give online dating another shot and I matched with someone who seemed interesting, during our actual date our conversation quickly devolved into a debate about whether pineapple belongs on pizza. I ended up blocking her after she sent me a thesis on the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 494

Chub rub

By Anonymous - 02/06/2023 00:02 - Canada - Toronto

Today, trying to exercise and be more healthy, I went for a walk but I developed a friction thigh rash. The rash is so bad I will likely not be able to get on another walk for days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 747

You deserved it 202

Lonely but tidy

By anon - 30/10/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I spent an hour cleaning my apartment because I thought I had a date coming over. Right as they were supposed to arrive, they canceled because they “got too tired.” Now it’s just me, alone in a spotless apartment, watching a terrible documentary on Netflix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 106

Horny camp

By Cathie - 05/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I went camping with friends, two guys and one girl. Night came and things got freaky. Two of them began to make out. I wanted to make a move on my guy friend but he said, “Nah, let’s not ruin the friendship.” Then he proceeded to have a threesome with them. Oh, and the other guy didn’t want me either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 121

Gun control

By Emily - 28/12/2020 17:01

Today, only a few hours after getting certified and buying my first pistol, I dropped it and blew off two of my toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 2 327

Keep your chill

By Anna - 01/11/2024 15:00 - United States - Reno

Today, I walked into my boss’s office for a serious meeting. While I was talking, I felt something on my arm, looked down, and realized it was a giant spider crawling up my sleeve. I tried to casually shake it off without screaming, but I just ended up doing a bizarre, silent dance in front of my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 97

Recruitment hell

By Unemployedloser - 08/06/2026 00:00 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I had a job interview and the interviewer assumed that since I'm short, I wouldn't be able to take the garbage out. Yesterday I had another interviewer call me a loser for being a stay-at-home mom. I'm gonna be unemployed forever it seems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 75

Wait for me!

By Anonymous - 03/01/2021 01:58

Today, the parking shuttle for work pulled away right as I was walking up to it. I was late to work. For the second day in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 738

Social bumbling

By A massive racist, apparently - 09/06/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, I found out it's apparently racist to point out that a person has a unique spelling for a common name. I then found out it's even more racist to yell at the person who tells you in a very condescending tone that "it's a common spelling," even though I've literally never seen it before in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 868

Hard pressed

By Cliffton - 06/11/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. As I tried to bench press, my arms gave out instantly, and I ended up dropping the bar onto my chest. The dudes in the gym around me gave me the wide-eyed WTF face, while I tried to laugh it off and failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 410

By esk - 18/05/2009 08:48 - China

Today, I got my medical checkup back. Apparently, I'm diagnosed with a liver condition generally found in alcoholics. I've never drank in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 473

You deserved it 3 696

Turn it off

By Hemann - 02/03/2022 02:00

Today, I keep getting prank calls from unknown numbers. They keep making fun of my dog’s death, calling me a fat and stupid loser who can’t get laid, and making sexual moaning noises. I can’t block “Unknown” numbers. It got so overwhelming that I broke down in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 549

You deserved it 151

University challenge

By Anonymous - 15/06/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, I got selected to participate in a trivia night after trying for ages. First question: "What is the capital city of Australia?" My brain completely stopped functioning and I confidently and incorrectly answered "Sydney." I've spent most of my life knowing the correct answer, but my brain wouldn't let me remember it when it mattered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 247

Emotional

By Shellz - 09/11/2024 22:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, my mom sent me a text that said "You're my favorite!" and I got all emotional. Then I realized she'd accidentally sent it to our family group chat. My siblings were furious, and she tried to backtrack by calling all of us her "favorites." FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 120

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The Top

Today, my mom and I went to exchange a massive stuffed animal, which was meant for my niece. I was carrying it when I saw a really hot guy looking at me funny. My mom snickered and told him that I never go anywhere without "George". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 199

You deserved it 3 430

Today, I was chatting online with a guy I really like, when he used the word "irregardless." I couldn't help but mention how little sense it makes, since it's a combination of two words meaning roughly the same thing. He replied, "lol what? your stupid." Jesus Christ. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 989

You deserved it 9 820

Today, I informed my family of my plans to divorce my wife after catching her cheating on me twice. They bitched me out because I will not be able to survive financially or emotionally without her support. I'm a doctor. She's been unemployed for 2 straight years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 112

You deserved it 2 699

Today, I was feeling in the mood, so I walked into the kitchen with only my boxers on and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to get in bed. She said, "Okay, but make sure to finish before Gossip Girl starts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 659

You deserved it 8 239

Today, I went to my favorite burger joint. Upon taking the first bite of my burger, I dislocated my jaw. The employees had to call 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 783

You deserved it 206

Today, I went for a job interview and was rejected for having a 'visible' tattoo. It's white ink, so you can't see it unless you look super closely. The only reason they knew about it was because I was honest and mentioned it when asked if I had any tattoos. I guess honesty is not the best policy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 529

You deserved it 376