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By klaatu barada nikto - 20/01/2015 13:23 - United States - Des Moines

Today, at the soup kitchen I volunteer at, a guy called the food crap and threatened to shove his bowl up my ass if I didn't give him something better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 249

You deserved it 2 697

Contempt of court

By Just my luck - 17/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, it's been several weeks since I unfortunately had to tell my grandpa that I wouldn't make it to his birthday party due to jury duty. It's now the day before, which also happens to be his birthday, and I just discovered that I was excused due to them having extras and replacing me. Too late now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 124

Well played

By Shawnee Gonzales - 18/06/2024 00:00 - United States - Lansing

Today, my 6 year-old told me that he was stealing the fan I just bought. I told him he could have it for $25. He said, "What, you think I’m made of money?" My response was, "Well, you think I’m made of money." He replied, "Isn’t that what MOM stands for?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 403

Let him have his fun

By Anonymous - 02/01/2026 12:00

Today, my boyfriend ignored my multiple texts for almost five hours. I was panicking and about to call the police when he finally replied, saying he was building a snow igloo. Am I dating a third grader? FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 926

Good boy

By bonertoolong - 23/11/2011 08:19 - United States

Today, I tried to teach my dog tricks. Somehow, I thought it would be easier if I physically showed my dog how to roll, so I rolled on the floor in front of my dog. My sister recorded me and posted it on Facebook. Now everyone thinks I'm an idiot and my dog still can't roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 572

You deserved it 24 118

What's in store for me?

By Disabled - 02/02/2023 12:00

Today, my mom has fibromyalgia and the absolute worst case of arthritis that at least four different doctors have ever seen, I have dyspraxia, my dad has been diagnosed with arthritis, and my older brother is also showing signs of arthritis. Physical ailments run rampant in my family, in case you didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 108

Been around the world and I I I, I can't find my suitcase

By Anonymous - 11/02/2023 16:00

Today, I arrived home after taking one airplane from A to B. My luggage never made it on the plane with me, and now the airline is looking for it. One plane and still lost my suitcase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 108

Nice try

By Not a thief!! - 11/01/2026 22:00

Today, I was grocery shopping and treated myself to fresh flowers. At self-checkout, I scanned everything, paid and left. An employee ran after me to ask if I’d paid for the flowers. I’d scanned them as bananas, paying 68 cents instead of $12. I awkwardly scuttled back inside to “fix it.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 544

Stewart Lee has let himself go

By Anonymous - 26/06/2024 14:00 - Israel

Today, I noticed while sitting on my office chair, my belly is now large enough to touch my thighs. I'm not pregnant, I just ate my feelings for the past few years, and gained about 20kg in total. I've never felt so much self-loathing as I do right now, and I'm too ashamed to ask for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 299

Memories…

By Anonymous - 14/01/2026 15:00

Today, I dug out an old yearbook to look up one of my teachers. Instead, I immediately found the signature of my horrible ex, claiming my “yearbook virginity.” He got my physical virginity too, through some extremely unethical means. I hate him for being a scumbag, and myself for being a fool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 119

It never rains, it pours

By Anonymous - 29/06/2024 16:00 - United States - Culpeper

Today, I got a speeding ticket in the mail, at the same time as my car was getting towed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 218

Bullet dodged

By RIP me - 16/01/2026 20:00

Today, I was talking with my newly-single male friend, who I've had a crush on forever. He was rattling off his list of what he looks for in a woman, like, "Must want kids, must eat meat…" I got excited thinking I might have a shot until I heard, "Must be at least somewhat right wing." Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 483

Working conditions

By Anonymous - 10/02/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I'm sitting in a disgustingly hot office with all the windows thrown open. There is no fan, and the owner won't let us use the air conditioner. The smell of mold permeates the room from the ceiling, giving me headaches by the end of the day. The owner refuses to get someone in to clean it. I can't quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 156

Must stay productive

By Anonymous - 19/01/2026 12:00

Today, I experienced my third day in a row with visual aura causing a migraine. I informed my safety and human resources departments, who both offered help. When I went to tell my supervisor, she told me that women experience this all the time and I need to learn to deal with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 84

Mixed up

By Evy - 03/07/2024 14:00 - Belgium - Merendree

Today, I received an email from the secretary of my university. Even though I only have half a year left before I graduate, I'm still required to attend all the lessons for the entire year. Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 89

Happy Fourth of July

By Help - 05/07/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I tried to comfort my cats from fireworks. Problem is, I also have really sensitive hearing, so fireworks are distressing to me as well. My cats didn't take kindly to me being distressed and just became more irritable. They took their irritability out on me. Now I look like I fought a bear or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 191

Hip cat

By Teacher from FL - 25/01/2026 15:00

Today, as middle school teacher, I tried to use slang to “connect” with my students. I said a lesson was “low-key fire.” One kid asked me, very sincerely, if that meant I was having a medical emergency. Another told me to never say that again. The rest of the day, kids whispered “low-key fire” as I walked by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 507

Rubbing it in

By Anonymous - 28/01/2026 03:00

Today, I was at a party at my ex's house; he'd invited the whole team. We of course don't talk, but I just figured out he had a girlfriend. He said it right in my face and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 363

Don't believe the hype

By Long Ranged Missile... Detected! - 30/01/2026 15:00

Today, an officemate "invited" me to take a selfie with him with his "Brand new iPhone 17 Pro Max, fully paid in cash." And here I am, still lugging my now 7 year-old phone, which is stuck at Android 9, and I had to stick a power bank on the casing to keep the battery on life support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 119

Meltdown

By Anonymous - 13/07/2024 20:00 - United States - San Antonio

Today, my best friend of 8 years told me she is dating my ex-boyfriend. They've claimed to be best friends for the last 16 years. I told her I was bothered by it. She immediately blocked me on all social media platforms, but my ex still follows my accounts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 240

Namaste

By Old and tired - 01/02/2026 20:00

Today, finally joined a yoga class to “stay flexible” as a retiree. I followed along until we did a pose involving balance. I fell sideways into a stack of foam blocks and knocked over the instructor like gentle dominoes. Everyone was kind, but now I get assigned the chair automatically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 84

Chilly

By Bloody tp - 03/02/2026 22:00

Today, I had to spend five days at work, as we were expecting a snow storm and my position must be staffed at all times. My boss stocked the fridges with food, which sounds nice, but it was all frozen dinners and junk food. I've had so much diarrhea that my asshole is chapped and bleeds when I wipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 89

Thanks Alex

By Anonymous - 05/02/2026 22:00

Today, I transferred rent to my landlord and realized I’d sent it to the wrong “Alex” in my contacts. My bank said the payment was already completed and they couldn’t reverse it without the other person’s permission. I had to message a guy I went on one awkward date with two years ago asking him to please send my rent money back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 382

By psychteacher - 04/11/2011 13:32 - United States

Today, I pressed snooze on my alarm clock for one of the first times ever. I ended up being late to my 8am class, and when I showed up, I couldn't start the projector. I called Tech Support. They came... and pushed the large button labeled "power." The whole class laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 212

You deserved it 33 268

sharkey131313131 tells us more.

sharkey131313131 3

Sunday 6 November 2011 3:15

this is the original poster. yeah...i was having an off day. in my defense, normally there's a small little power button on the top of the projector and that's all i've ever needed to use. someone must have messed with it though, because evidently there's a bigger power button on the side, and that's the one i missed. i felt like an idiot :( and i'm a graduate school TA...

By Anonymous - 06/01/2011 17:38 - United States

Today, for the first time ever, my boyfriend of one year told me he loved me. He was calling me by collect call from the county jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 609

You deserved it 6 192

Sounds wonderful

By Loner - 05/12/2021 14:00

Today, I spent the thirty second consecutive day in a row seeing no one but my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 256

Where would we be without GPS?

By Anonymous - 19/07/2024 16:00

Today, my stupid satnav led me straight onto someone’s private land and I couldn’t get out again because the private land was a working farm, and while I was turning round they dumped 10 tonnes of cow shit in the courtyard, and I couldn’t get round it until they shifted it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 385

Risky drink

By TJ - 08/02/2026 12:00

Today. I was sitting up having coffee early in the morning, still half-asleep. My dad walked in, getting ready for work. He asked if that was my water sitting there. He thought it must've be his, so he took a big gulp. OMG, I'd forgotten I'd poured a glass of pure white vinegar last night. His face was absolutely hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 340

That'll be Kevin in accounting

By Jason McGinnis - 22/09/2020 22:51 - Canada - Brampton

Today, just like every other day, my company is so dysfunctional that local food chains require us to pay cash up front for our catering, because we routinely take 6 months or more to pay for a chicken sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 212

You deserved it 227

Roommates from hell, part 4765

By SHUT UUUUUP - 03/03/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I've found that it's hard to focus on important things when your roommate won't stop singing at the top of his lungs, without any music playing mind you, especially when his singing voice sounds like a cat being forced through a meat grinder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 98

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The Top

The Top

Today, after 6 dentist visits, 2 root canals, and $1,500 that I'll likely have to sell vital organs to pay, the agonizing tooth pain I've had for months is unrelenting. Apparently, shrugging and offering to experimentally yank all my bottom teeth is my smurf-shit of a dentist's actual plan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 358

You deserved it 1 155

Today, my cousin and his fiancée took me to my first strip club experience. One of the strippers came over and danced for me. She pulled her thong string out and I tried to place the dollar in it with my mouth. I missed, to which she said "Put it in there, retard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 616

You deserved it 34 680

Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 261

You deserved it 3 785

Today, I got a call from my son’s teacher. Apparently, while doing a test, he responded to the question, "Predict how the government will change in the next ten years" with, "I’m not psychic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 172

Today, I walked in on my soon-to-be-ex-husband with his coworker (who we'd always argued about) bent over in front of him. Both of them buck ass naked. He was supposed to be watching our two year-old daughter, who was in another room eating applesauce by herself. She was drenched in applesauce from head to toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 214

Today, I had to put my cat down. I raised her from a kitten and called her "my little Pumpkin Seed." Unfortunately, we are entering Fall and thus the very beginning of the pumpkin spice/pumpkin decorating season. Everywhere I look I'm reminded of her. I used to love Fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 114