The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

r/entitledparents material right here · 6 September 2024, 14:00 ·United States

Entitled much?

Today, a woman came up to me at a restaurant and asked if her autistic son could borrow my headphones. I agreed, but when they were leaving and I asked for them back, she accused me of trying to steal MY headphones that she BORROWED from me. If not for other people backing me up, I would have lost them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739 You deserved it 177

2 comments Share

thatsureshowedme · This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff ·Auckland, New Zealand

Steve McQueen would be ashamed

Today, I tried being rebellious for the first time in my life by sneaking out past my curfew. I tried to climb out of my bedroom window to stealthily leave the house. I ended up twisting my ankle when I tried to make my "great" escape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 240 You deserved it 30 944

98 comments Share

Wilder-Grey · 9 April 2026, 00:00 ·Dayton, United States

It's all too much

Today, my boyfriend has been in the hospital since Saturday and I don't know when he'll be home, the anniversary of my favorite grandma's death is coming up, and it's the week before my period. My emotions are so out of whack that even I'm sick of myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372 You deserved it 161

0 comment Share

Anonymous · 10 November 2020, 08:02 ·United States

Man child, part 2

Today, I was told I'm lazy by my boyfriend because I skipped work. He skips his all the time and when I get home still have to cook and clean up after him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955 You deserved it 311

6 comments Share

GregIsGreg · 10 September 2024, 14:00 ·United States

Vent away

Today, I was getting into a Uber after a long day at work. I opened the door, sat down, and started venting to the driver about my horrible day. Five minutes in, I realized I had climbed into a random stranger’s car. He didn’t even tell me; he just let me complain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190 You deserved it 525

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 12 November 2020, 02:02 ·Mar De Ajo, Argentina

Deal with it

Today, apparently having mood swings at 37 weeks pregnant is being "braggy" according to my husband, and totally not acceptable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938 You deserved it 167

3 comments Share

Anonymous · 5 February 2022, 12:00 🌶️ Spicy

Horny horny horny

Today, I’m so desperate I hooked up with a guy who has Covid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 255 You deserved it 2 127

4 comments Share

Owie · 13 September 2024, 06:00 ·United States

My body hates me

Today, I was looking at myself in the mirror and tried to touch my face. Unfortunately I have Tourette's, so my hand just uncontrollably slammed into my cheek, consequently jamming one of my fingernails into it. It started bleeding like crazy. My fingernails aren't exactly long, either… that's how hard it hit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356 You deserved it 76

0 comment Share

Anonymous · 13 April 2026, 15:00 ·United Kingdom

Britain's Got Talent?

Today, during an important music audition, I fudged everything up and forgot half the lyrics of the song I was performing, so I just sort of tailed off into embarrassed silence on stage. It was an original song, I wrote the lyrics myself. All the lady could say was, "Good luck next year, dear." FML

I agree, your life sucks 346 You deserved it 141

0 comment Share

Anonymous · 15 April 2026, 20:00 ·United States

Don't blame me!

Today, my parents told me they're getting a divorce because of all the strain caused by me nearly dying in an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518 You deserved it 58

3 comments Share

NotKarenTrustMe · 19 April 2026, 09:00 ·Berlin, Germany

Close call

Today, I called the Vietnamese teacher at my son's kindergarten by my Chinese colleague's name. Luckily, she didn't catch it. I'm not a racist, I was just tired after a long day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300 You deserved it 107

0 comment Share

Anonymous · 18 November 2020, 23:02 ·United States

No friends left

Today, I’ve dreamt of going back to high school so many times, every morning I wake up thinking I finished it twice and still have all my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748 You deserved it 167

2 comments Share

Anonymous · 23 January 2022, 11:01

Quarantine stress

Today, my mother complained all day while I'm trying to work from home. I started getting chest pains from the stress of everything having to be perfect or she has one of her meltdowns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032 You deserved it 124

2 comments Share

Fluster time · 22 April 2026, 09:00 ·Sydney, Australia

i'm late

Today, I work remotely and had an online meeting with clients in different time zones. I double-checked the time… or so I thought. I joined 30 minutes late, rushed in apologizing, only to realise I had actually logged into the wrong meeting entirely and interrupted another team’s presentation. My actual meeting had already ended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122 You deserved it 479

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 23 January 2022, 08:01

Sports ball

Today, after almost four years of friendship. My "good friend" blocked me on Facebook, after I joked with him about his team losing. I'm a huge fan of the winning team. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904 You deserved it 224

2 comments Share

Anonymous · 23 April 2026, 12:00 ·United Kingdom

Heavy sleeper

Today, in protest at my girlfriend stealing the blankets every night, I actually bought myself a separate duvet. She stole that one too in her sleep, wrapped it round herself, and turned over so many times it disappeared under her somewhere. I went and slept on the sofa in my dressing gown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381 You deserved it 67

3 comments Share

Anonymous · 26 November 2020, 05:02 ·Merrimack, United States

Bye, dipshit

Today, my husband told me he no longer loves me and is moving out. It's also our 13th wedding anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 157 You deserved it 266

0 comment Share

Anonymous · 25 April 2026, 00:00 ·United States

Hard times

Today, I learned that my brother isn't going to have a funeral because my dad and stepmom can't afford one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525 You deserved it 66

2 comments Share

Anonymous · 25 November 2020, 20:02

Mystery message service

Today, my two year-old opened one of my boyfriend's Snapchat messages. It was from a girl I've never heard of, with whom he has a 700+ day streak and is one of his top friends. The message said, "I wish?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 936 You deserved it 253

5 comments Share

Numskull · 27 April 2026, 09:00 ·Perth, Australia

Where were you?

Today, I showed up to my mate's wedding. There was a board for someone's 100th birthday instead. I screwed up the dates and the wedding was yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 You deserved it 491

0 comment Share

I'll stop being "bitter" when my life stops sucking · 29 April 2026, 15:00 ·New York, United States

He has a point

Today, my tall, handsome, perfect cousin told me to stop bitching about being single and "work on myself", as if that would magically attract hordes of women. I told him to fuck off and swung at him. He knocked me on my ass and had the balls to say he forgave me but that I needed to stop being bitter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 You deserved it 1 107

5 comments Share

Anonymous · 28 September 2024, 16:00 ·Lafayette, United States

Change of heart

Today, my boyfriend "proposed" to me. When we first started dating, he told me that he hated the concept of marriage and absolutely never wanted to go through with it. So I laughed and turned him down, obviously thinking it was just a joke. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390 You deserved it 262

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 2 May 2026, 03:00 ·United Kingdom

Nature is healing

Today, I took my son fishing and we did quite well, catching enough for several nights worth of meals. Then, as we were packing up, the dumbass tipped the whole lot back into the sea because he somehow thought the freaking ocean was subject to catch and release. Four hours wasted FML

I agree, your life sucks 251 You deserved it 337

3 comments Share

Wishliar · 30 September 2024, 16:00 ·United States

Cold turkey

Today, I started my cure from my opioid addiction. My whole body is so sore, I'm lying in bed and I'm still hurting to the point that I cried half the day, and nothing will make me feel any better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544 You deserved it 218

7 comments Share

Hmmm… · 4 May 2026, 12:00 ·Waterbury, United States

Crisis of faith

Today, I'm no longer interested in praying with my family. That's a very uncomfortable thing for me. I still believe in God and prayer, but it’s uncomfortable when your family is very religious and half of them are ministers. I can’t tell anyone in my family this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336 You deserved it 92

2 comments Share

hannahnator · 2 December 2020, 14:04 ·Racine, United States

Hellworld

Today, it's the first day of our 2-week quarantine. Today, my 3 year-old also discovered Blippi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 747 You deserved it 193

8 comments Share

NoGrandkids · 6 May 2026, 20:00 ·Berlin, Germany

They grow up so fast

Today, my daughter said she would never ever have kids because then she'll bleed through her vagina or get stitches on her stomach. She turned 7 last week and learnt this at school from friends. I'm yet to have the "periods" talk with her. Now I'm scared to start it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331 You deserved it 102

0 comment Share

Jane · 11 May 2026, 09:00 ·United States

No good deed…

Today, I tried to be helpful at a café by stacking the plates after finishing a meal. The stack looked stable until it very much wasn’t. Everything slid off at once, loud crash, and almost every conversation in the place stopped. The server came over and told me, very kindly, “You didn’t have to do that.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 112 You deserved it 354

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 9 October 2024, 00:00 ·Australia

Rock n roll!

Today, I had my first gig with my new band. I was concentrating on my guitar during the second song when I tripped over the singer's microphone cable, hit my head on the bass drum, and blacked out. When I came to, people were applauding, apparently thinking it was part of the act. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373 You deserved it 131

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 10 October 2024, 22:00 ·United States

Spineless

Today, I received a text from my boyfriend breaking up with me. Not only was this a bit cowardly but he'd also sent it in a reply to our last interaction on our phones, a group chat with some of our friends, who started commenting with sad face emojis before I had even had the chance to see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477 You deserved it 81

1 comment Share