The Top

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Throw them into a volcano

By stinkstinkman - 07/12/2023 06:00 - United States - Ashburn

Today, I failed to notice a nice ripe pile of dog poop on my front yard until I got to work. I tried to clean my shoe off with alcohol wipes in the bathroom. Not only did it barely work, the wipes are non-flushable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 177

By Anonymous - 07/03/2014 13:29 - United States - Needles

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's mom. She was driving us to a theme park that was about 2 hours away. She asked for the address to put into the GPS, so I gave it to her. It turned out to be a farm, an hour away from the park. So much for good first impressions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 278

You deserved it 8 958

Messed up country

By Anonymous - 13/06/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my absentee dad died in America and some branch of the American government decided that I need to settle his debts. "Which debts?" you ask. Unpaid child support. Yes, America wants me to pay them my own child support, despite never meeting my dad or even once setting foot in America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 79

A tale as old as time

By Anonymous - 19/12/2023 00:00 - United States - Huntsville

Today, a really cute girl from my class invited me out for a few drinks. I’ve had a crush on her all year and thought this was my chance. We went out but it turns out she has a boyfriend of 5 and a half years she plans to marry. I saw her as a potential girlfriend and I guess she saw me as something else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 614

This could mean several places at the moment

By shlk - 19/06/2025 22:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, the day after I bought a ticket to travel back home for the first time in a long while, I woke up and realized my country got attacked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 108

Safe and sound

By Anonymous - 22/06/2025 12:00 - United States - Western Springs

Today, I was expecting new computer parts so I can upgrade my hardware. I was hoping they would get here before I had to leave for work, but they showed up half an hour after my shift started. Now I have $700 worth of computer hardware sitting on my porch for my whole shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 136

Modernish rejection

By Liarssuckk - 24/06/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, the girl who rejected me because she said she was a lesbian got Facebook official with another guy. I called her out on her lying and she replied, “Take it as a hint, now get out of my Messenger before I call the zookeeper.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 774

Dishes, now!

By Anonymous - 25/12/2023 06:00 - Netherlands

Today, I went out to eat with a friend. I was supposed to be paying, but when I tried to, there wasn't enough money in my bank account. She didn't have money with her either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 739

Freaked out

By Piitaa_Pain - 01/01/2024 15:00 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, I realized how bad my social anxiety has gotten. Where I live, there's a gallery/corridor, which is where the entrance is. It's also where the kitchen window is. I was preparing to cook dinner when my neighbors walked by. Even though my windows are opaque, I panicked and haven't been in the kitchen the past hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 293

Public menace

By Anonymous - 06/01/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, my dad is too old to drive, period, and yet while I was at work my wife thought it was a good idea to let him try her new Mercedes, which by the way I bought and insured. He used the accelerator like he was driving a shitbox Nissan and destroyed our local kebab shop's big front window and door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 584

You deserved it 156

Body heat management

By Anonymous - 06/07/2025 15:00 - Germany

Today, a bit of self-explanatory wisdom: When it’s 35°C out and you need a hot water bottle for your lower half, while needing a fan for your upper half, then something in your body’s self-regulatory system does not work as it should. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 92

Club Tropicana

By Anonymous - 03/01/2024 15:00 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, I forgot to take my phone out of my bathing suit pocket before I went into the pool. It's not a high-end phone, so that's not why FML. The FML part is because I was on vacation, didn't have internet access, and the phone has no external memory card, so all the pictures I took while on vacation are lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 535

**** Spotify

By WTF? - 08/07/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, while I was on Spotify with smart shuffle enabled, it started playing a really stupid, but funny song I'd never heard in my life. I then looked at the cover and realized the song playing was AI-generated. I don't want to live on this planet anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 129

Matchmaking

By Anonymous - 09/01/2024 12:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my wife (who changed her mind about converting for me after we married) now wants me to set her friends up with guys I grew up with from the same church. She’s offended that my family doesn’t trust her friends, and wants me to be outraged on their behalf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 527

SCREAM!

By Anonymous - 10/07/2025 20:00 - United States - Newport

Today, I was in the bathroom at a party when I noticed a spider the size of a golf ball on the toilet paper roll. I screamed, tripped over my own feet trying to flee, and fell right into the bathtub. Everyone at the party heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 314

Stars of CCTV

By Guess I'm jobless - 10/01/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I nailed a job interview and they hired me on the spot. The only problem was I was bursting at the seams and had to poop really bad. After destroying their bathroom and taking my leave, not an hour later I got a phone call saying they're "gonna go a different direction." FML

I agree, your life sucks 562

You deserved it 256

Mystery man

By me. - 13/01/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, the girls from my high school still think they are too cool to associate with me. They ignored/avoided me in high school, assuming I was too weird. We could have 96+ mutual followers from our class and I still only get accepted without a follow back. What have they heard about me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 546

By pinknicki87 - 03/02/2014 17:34 - United States - Charleston

Today, after months of looking at cribs and picking out the perfect one for my unborn daughter, the store informed me that they no longer make that crib, even though the model is right there on the sales floor. I had to leave as my hormones got the best of me and I started bawling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 480

You deserved it 5 446

pinknicki87 tells us more.

pinknicki87 5

Thursday 6 February 2014 18:41

OP here. Thank you so much for all your kind and supportive words. I seem to be emotional over everything lately. Thank goodness I have such a supportive husband. I know everything happens for a reason, and we will find the perfect crib. Obviously that one wasn't meant to be.

Memory hole

By Anonymous - 17/07/2025 22:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I spent an hour trying to log into my work email. I apparently kept typing the wrong password and eventually got locked out for 24 hours. My boss texted me five minutes later asking why I wasn’t responding to his emails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 322

That's not how that works

By fishbearpig - 17/01/2024 12:00 - Romania

Today, I got scammed of 16k by a car dealer. I went to the place, paid for the car, and paid to have it transported to my address. The car should've been delivered, the dealer vanished either way with the car. The police and bank can’t do much, and I lost my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 188

Where are you?

By Anonymous - 19/07/2025 22:00 - Canada

Today, I set a silent alarm on my phone for 6:30 AM so I wouldn’t wake up my partner. Problem is, I forgot to turn off “Do Not Disturb” mode, so my alarm never went off. I woke up at 9:30 AM, still in pajamas, and missed a meeting with a client. I'm avoiding my manager's calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 458

By Anonymous - 24/04/2011 08:42 - United States

Today, my dog decided to chase a smaller dog for three blocks. When I finally caught up with him, he laid down and refused to go anywhere. I had to carry my 80 pounds Labrador like a baby all the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 308

You deserved it 7 470

By love you too mommy - 27/01/2014 19:26 - United States - Brentwood

Today, my mom walked into my room to talk to me. I was surprised because we don't talk much. I was left with a smile on my face after she left, until I realized she'd stolen all the candy on my desk while I wasn't looking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 493

You deserved it 5 296

Screen time

By Anonymous - 24/01/2024 06:00 - Germany - Welle

Today, our school won third prize for a project about inclusion. At the fancy reception, none of our students got included in anything, though. They didn’t manage to talk to people from any other school, because everyone else was busy staring at their phones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 125

Life is very long when you're lonely

By Luna - 22/09/2022 13:00

Today, I noticed that I feel the loneliest when I'm with my family. I was raised in group homes for most of my childhood and I'm sure my mother doesn't want me, and she hasn't for years. My brothers used to disappear as kids and just do what they wanted, whereas I'd be home before curfew and I rarely acted out but still I'm unwanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 278

You deserved it 129

SPEECH! SPEECH!

By Trevone87 - 26/07/2025 15:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was asked to give a toast at my best friend’s wedding. I confidently walked up, tapped my glass, and began with, “Marriage is like...” Then I completely blanked, for about 10 seconds, but it felt like hours. I finished with, “...good luck!” and sat down to slow, confused golf claps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 311

Risky move

By Anonymous - 31/07/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I tried to impress a cute cop at a coffee shop by holding the door for her and saying, “You’re under arrest… for stealing my heart.” She deadpan replied, “That’s harassment, sir.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 855

Thanks for nothing

By Anonymous - 02/08/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was surprised to see a little extra cash in my account for no reason. Confused, (and a little concerned about fraud) I called customer service. Turns out my dad had accidentally used the wrong routing number and put the money in the wrong account. So much for that extra $35. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 130

Bad day for glasses

By Anonymous - 09/10/2022 10:00

Today, I walked into the glass door of my boss’s cabin and broke my spectacles. Thank god for a backup pair, right? Wrong. I fell down the stairs and broke them too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 212

Scapegoat with fries

By Juan Carr - 02/02/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, after an argument, my wife goes out to cook her curly fries in our airfryer. The thing beeps after 15 minutes; my wife goes out and announces, "Oh that's great." "What's up babes?" says I. "I put the fries in the wrong compartment. It's all your fault, you wound me up earlier." she says. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 132

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The Top

The Top

Today, it's either be alone and miserable, or go on shitty dates and be miserable. I have no other options. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 517

You deserved it 6 761

Today, my dad decided to clean his muddy shoes right beside me by clapping them together, causing mud to fly all over me. This wouldn't have been a problem had I not been wearing my white wedding dress just before getting married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 022

You deserved it 3 883

Today, I went horseback riding with this guy I like. I asked him to help me get on the horse. I slipped, and while trying to keep my balance, I kicked him in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 958

You deserved it 5 739

Today, I took my driver's test, whereby I forgot everything, panicked, and closed my eyes while yelling, "Jesus take the wheel!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 840

Today, I began noticing a certain female name popping up on my husband’s social media notifications,so I asked him about it. He got irrationally upset at the fact that I pronounced her name wrong, told me she’s “nobody”, then said, “I hate it when you accuse me of shit!” I didn’t even accuse him of anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 94

Today, my husband is upset that I refuse to sign off on a loan for $10k for an experimental surgery on his 11 year-old chronically ill dog. It will ultimately put more trauma on the poor creature, but he refuses to listen or let go. Not to mention the kids and mortgage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 122