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Triggered

By Ouch - 06/10/2025 20:00

Today, after a long dry spell, I spent a day treating my wife, ending with a full body massage. She was wearing only panties, breathing heavily, and spread her legs, so I reached for her crotch to finger her… and she kicked me in the head so hard I fell off the bed and split my head open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 209

Go on, gis a job, I can do that

By Anonymous - 01/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, my parents are mad because I turned down a job. It offered below minimum wage to work 12-hour shifts, six days a week, and the list of benefits was less than the occupational hazards. When I showed them what McDonald's was paying and their benefits in comparison, they accused me of being lazy and entitled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 600

You deserved it 122

Dick move

By Anonymous - 07/10/2025 22:00

Today, my wife insisted on getting burgers at like 11:58, two minutes before the place closed, which was a dick move. As she’s placing her order, I clearly heard the guy in the back going, “For fuck's sake…” as he restarted the grill. I wouldn’t have blamed him if he spit in her fries, honestly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 96

You know who you are

By Anonymous - 18/11/2022 04:00

Today, the way some people just pry into others' life is annoying me. I have very little patience for nosy people who imply and make assumptions about you based on very little information, then air it all out in a work environment. The anger I felt towards you, my coworker, oh my god. I know he noticed and I don't care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 368

Poor planning on your part does not necessitate an emergency on mine

By Anonymous - 03/04/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, as always, when my dad says he needs my help and that it will only take 15 minutes, it will actually take all day because he doesn't plan ahead. This has happened three times now, so this time I demanded he compensate me for my time if I have to drive out there. He called me an "entitled little shit" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 225

Better call Saul

By Anonymous - 10/10/2025 09:00

Today, I had my legitimation case transferred to another county. Why? Because my child's mother has a lawyer. She moved and didn't give her address, so I can't find our son. She literally filed for child support to be vindictive and is alienating me from our son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 88

Between a rock and another rock

By Anonymous - 06/04/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I'm 26. With my learning disabilities and underlying physical disabilities, I cannot work high paying intellectual jobs. I have too many repetitive stress injuries from retail and fast food jobs that I cannot go back to them without being in pain. Will I ever become independent? FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 156

Thanksgiving at home

By JasonThorn - 24/11/2022 10:00 - United States - Mesa

Today, I woke up with a dry cough, which is a red flag for COVID. I took a home test, came up positive; went to a doctor, same result. I get home, mask up, and tell my roommates to test. I'm still in the process of telling the family I can't make it for Thanksgiving when my roomies test positive, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 195

Control

By Anonymous - 07/04/2024 14:00 - United States - Yorktown

Today, I was talking with a friend and casually mentioned how close I live to a train station. She said that since we’re both about a day away from NYC, we should meet up there and have a girls trip. I thought it was an awesome idea. When I mentioned it to my fiancé, he freaked about money. The date isn’t even set yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 161

Woke of the day

By Don't like being slaughtered - 14/10/2025 15:00

Today, I finally found the courage to confront my Native American parents, who happily celebrate Thanksgiving every year, even though it's a holiday about genocide. They rolled their eyes and said, "Fine. Don't come, we don't want a killjoy like you at dinner." FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 834

Controlling

By Anonymous - 09/04/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, my soon to be ex-husband and ex-mother in law informed me I couldn't go to the funeral of a really good friend we shared. I went anyway, but I can't imagine how the divorce is going to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 103

Hair today, gone tomorrow

By Frankie - 17/10/2025 00:00

Today, I unwittingly told the barber, “Do whatever you think looks best.” He got creative. Forty-five minutes later, I walked out with a haircut that made me look like a backup dancer in a 1990s boy band. My girlfriend said, “You're going to have to wear a beanie if you want to walk around with me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 456

Libertarian nightmare

By Juan Carlos - 09/09/2021 08:00

Today, when I checked on my last payroll, I realized that I pay more in taxes than I do in house bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 128

Oh, hai Mark

By David - 22/10/2025 03:00

Today, I was in the check out line at a store when I thought I recognized the guy behind me from high school. I turned and said, “Oh my God, Mark?” He said, “No.” To make it worse, my brain short-circuited and I said, “Are you sure?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 334

Don't give in!

By Pissed off and scammed. - 10/09/2021 05:00

Today, my girlfriend is still mad at me because I got a MINISO cup and she doesn't have one. I was actually given that mug yesterday as a prize for working the extra hours I was forced to do last week without getting paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 98

Give it back

By Anonymous - 24/10/2025 12:00

Today, I was super excited to receive a large inheritance, maybe put it towards a house and a vacation. To my horror, the entire 40k went to my child support arrears. My psycho ex is the one who wanted those three kids, not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 1 323

Public freakout

By Rem - 26/10/2025 15:00

Today, I had to bail my husband out from jail for almost killing someone. What happened? He and my sister-in-law were in an grocery store when she spotted his old high school nemesis, who back then was the biggest bully in school. She thought that it would be "exciting" to see what would happen if their paths crossed again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 75

Third wheel

By Anonymous - 20/04/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I was staying over at a friend's house for the weekend. Some girl he knows invited us over to watch a movie. She spent the whole time ignoring the movie and clinging to him, trying to get him to stay, and completely ignoring the fact that I was there and that he was basically my ride. I felt like walking home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 141

Fatigue

By Anonymous - 29/10/2025 09:00

Today, I’m tired of being blamed that my kids don’t want anything to do with their dad. He somehow forgot that they saw him cheat on me while I was in the hospital, got another woman pregnant while we were still married, and put her kids above them. He made his bed, so why am I the bad guy? FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 66

By footstuck - 13/11/2013 17:51 - United States - Winterville

Today, I superglued the sole back into my shoe. Unfortunately, the glue didn't dry as quickly as it said it would on the bottle. The glue seeped through the sole and my foot got superglued to my shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 545

You deserved it 12 627

Bad hair day

By Anonymous - 31/10/2025 12:00

Today, I went all out for my kids’ crazy hair day at school. I’m talking hair dye, liberty spikes, accessories, the whole nine. I was super proud of myself and the kids were ecstatic! That is until we showed up and realized that today was pajama day. Crazy hair day is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 202

Oh, hi…

By Anonymous - 28/12/2011 15:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend who I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I find out that last time he saw me, I was blind drunk and vomiting after propositioning him all evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 970

You deserved it 31 250

Great timing

By Earl_KarmasBitch - 08/12/2022 12:00 - Iceland

Today, having made absolutely sure I wouldn't have work until 4 p.m., I slept peacefully to recover from staying up till 5 a.m. to watch my country in the World Cup. Until at 8 a.m., someone on the floor above started drilling. No one has done any drilling day or night in the last six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 174

Exploited

By Anonymous - 24/04/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, we had two of our longest serving coworkers retire at the company I work at, and they hired two young prospects to replace them. The problem? They asked me to train them both for the next 4 months, cancelling my PTO in the process, and then I learned they were being paid nearly 20% more than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 106

Cruel kids

By Anonymous - 02/11/2025 20:00

Today, my 7-year-old daughter squeezed her hamster's balls. She squeezed so hard that they literally popped out. She said that her older sister (who is 14-years-old) convinced her to do it. Both girls are grounded and have their cell phones and TV taken away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 131

Bothered

By Disgusted - 04/11/2025 22:00

Today, my little sister brought home her new boyfriend. He has an impressive job and is very charming and attractive. Apparently I'm the only one slightly bothered by the fact that he's 35 and she's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 136

Serious business

By Anonymous - 06/11/2025 22:00

Today, I showed up for a Tinder date. I sat there for 45 minutes, waiting. Finally, I messaged her to ask if she was coming. She replied, “Oh no, I wasn’t serious. You just seemed polite. I didn’t think you’d actually show up.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 65

So, here's the thing…

By dad - 28/04/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 685

Silver-brown linings

By Isa - 22/09/2021 11:00

Today, I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes a couple of weeks ago. The upside is that the diabetic meds I've been prescribed help with weight loss. The takeaway? Diarrhea. Lots and lots of diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 123

Demon child

By Anonymous - 03/05/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, my Scout troop was to work on my Eagle project. We specifically told everyone where to be and when, except one annoying kid we don't want there. His mother pawns him off on us because he's an aggressive, violent little maggot who can't be trusted with a Fisher-Price screwdriver. Guess who showed up anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 159

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The Top

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl showed interest in me. She sent me a text message saying she wanted to come over and fuck my brains out. This would've made me the happiest guy alive, if only she weren't my extremely drunk sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 414

You deserved it 3 290

Today, I found out that my obese son, who is on a health-mandated diet and exercise plan, gorges on junk food whenever he has the chance. His logic? "It won't make you fatter if you crap it out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 653

You deserved it 6 863

Today, I was feeling hungry, so I went to the kitchen to get a bowl of cereal. I found hundreds of weevils festering in my Lucky Charms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 897

You deserved it 4 315

Today, I got flowers at work. I was excited, until I saw they were from a friend saying, "Sorry for sleeping with your boyfriend!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 909

You deserved it 2 878

Today, I had to stop going to university with 2 years left because my parents feel it's not the right course for me. I am 23 years-old, living with my parents, $2 to my name and no job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 312

Today, a man having a breakdown was trashing the shop, and I was talking to him, calming him down, when an old guy popped up out of nowhere and hit him in the back of the head, out cold in seconds. He then looked at me and told me, "That’s how you deal with crazy people. You need to grow a pair, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 243