The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

By sk8rgurl - 28/06/2009 23:09 - United States

Today, I was testing for figure skating. I was wearing a brand new custom dress that was a halter top. On my first move, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Immediately after retaking the move, my dress snapped open, exposing myself to the judges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 402

You deserved it 5 618

Blowin' in the wind

By Tired - 19/09/2020 02:02 - United Stated

Today, for the third night in a row, I didn't get any sleep, because my neighbor's new dog won't stop barking when the wind blows. Where I live, we get major wind gusts most days of the week. It's going to be another long night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 108

Supermarket crash

By Anonymous - 03/03/2023 10:00

Today, I slipped on a small wet patch of floor in the grocery store and fell flat on my back, bringing my half-full shopping cart down with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 102

Fumbled

By Dean - 23/07/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, the cops showed up to my house and served me a child support order from the girl I had a one-night stand with, and who'd promised me she would abort the baby. All this was two years ago. My wife of three years was in the house and heard everything. She packed up her things and told me she’ll be calling her attorney. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 1 671

By Anonymous - 03/01/2011 10:29 - United States

Today, the alarm clock downstairs has been going off since 3am. The apartment belongs to two other students. They've gone home. Only 3 more days left to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 248

You deserved it 2 306

Going well is it?

By Anonymous - 30/12/2021 03:31 - India - Mumbai

Today, I analysed my first mock test for an exam I have to take in 5 months. I got 31/150. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 373

By shit_fer_luck - 16/12/2014 16:35 - United States - West Lafayette

Today, someone backed straight into my car as I was hunting for a parking spot. I just got my car back from the body shop after a hit-and-run. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 631

You deserved it 2 537

Where has the time gone?

By Anonymous - 22/12/2021 16:59

Today, I realized that I haven’t showered in a week. I feel disgusted that I took so long to notice, it didn’t even cross my mind at all. Due to my depression, I’ve lost all motivation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 169

You deserved it 247

Morons either way

By Anonymous - 28/07/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I knew my coworker was stealing my lunch, so I made a sandwich with tons of incredibly spicy peppers. He took a bite, shrieked in pain, and ran off sobbing. Unfortunately, he was also in an emergency meeting with an important client, so now my whole department looks like a bunch of morons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 110

Thanks, I hate it

By I'm Trading Up For A Dog - 14/12/2014 20:28 - Finland - Pori

Today, I finished a painting I'd spent 3 weeks working on for an exhibition. When I came back from lunch, my cat was perched above it on my desk. He looked at me, then down at the painting, then jumped down onto it. He slipped and smeared the wet paint everywhere, ruining the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 687

You deserved it 6 251

Born to run

By Ipickthegoodones - 26/06/2009 06:43 - United States

Today, I had three sheriffs come to my door, turns out my boyfriend of three years went on a robbing spree last week and brought the stolen merchandise back to my apartment. The best part: He used my car while committing the robberies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 249

You deserved it 6 642

By Zit-Blues - 04/01/2010 13:50 - United States

Today, I had a large pimple on my temple. I decided to try the whole "put toothpaste on the zit to make it dry up" technique that all the magazines say to do. Not only is my pimple still there, but the toothpaste irritated my skin and my already large pimple now appears three times bigger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 093

You deserved it 8 067

Classic rookie mistake

By Mason - 31/12/2021 02:59 - United States - Boise

Today, I got new AirPods. As I was sitting on the toilet, they fell out of my hoodie pocket into the toilet while it was flushing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 976

This is fine

By Changing the locks tomorrow - 08/03/2023 06:00

Today, it’s almost half past midnight. I received a drunken voicemail from my husband saying that he won’t be coming home tonight because he’s too drunk to drive, but don’t worry, he’s staying at "Cindy’s house", safe and sound. Who's Cindy? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 054

You deserved it 135

Self-centered

By lemonade1919 - 29/07/2024 07:00 - United States - Conroe

Today, I asked my SO for help with just the laundry, which translated into him only washing his clothes. We're married with multiple kids, and I currently work 2 jobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 109

By infected - 30/12/2010 21:37 - Denmark

Today, I had a snowball fight with a friend. In the midst of the game, I stole her hat and put it on my head, ignoring her pleas. Apparently, she was trying to say she had head lice. I can now verify that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 633

You deserved it 43 665

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 061

You deserved it 167

FAMILY

By Not today, Satan! - 29/07/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I was given a new trainee at work. It was the conniving skank who screwed my brother-in-law and ruined my sister’s marriage. When I refused to train her, I was written up and sent home, while the home wrecking whore just smirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 256

By goodbyepromotion - 30/08/2013 06:28 - United States - Dayton

Today, I addressed my district manager as "Dude." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 550

You deserved it 41 866

By Hairless freak - 23/09/2012 08:14 - United States - Fallbrook

Today, after weeks of dealing with a bad hair cut, my hair finally grew back to my preferred length. Today is also the day my roommate replaced my shampoo with hair remover as a prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 533

You deserved it 1 865

How can I help you today?

By Anonymous - 24/06/2009 05:41 - Canada

Today, I was working Customer Service at Walmart. An elderly lady came to my register to return a pair of white pants. I asked her what was wrong with them and she replied, "Even when I had underwear on you could still see my pubic hair." The pants had hair on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 473

You deserved it 3 287

By Anonymous - 25/10/2011 01:29 - United States

Today, I proudly presented my research project in class that I've worked for day and night for 3 weeks straight. My teacher fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 519

You deserved it 3 549

Rock and a hard place

By Mo. - 03/10/2020 01:13 - United States

Today, I found out my postpartum pain is indeed because of a cyst. No, my doctors can’t drain it and relive the pain because of scar tissue. And yes, it hurts around my lady bits and in my butthole, because the cyst wraps around everything. It’s either wait it out in extreme pain or surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 271

You deserved it 197

Agony aunt

By ShouldHaveLeftEarlier - 17/03/2023 12:00

Today, I didn't realise that after leaving my ex for someone else that I would need to be a therapist for all of his friends. He was such a garbage human being that he not only drove his friends away, but they all contacted me because I was the only one who "truly understood" how self-absorbed he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 153

Loner

By Anonymous - 16/03/2023 16:00 - New Zealand

Today, my dog has a better social life than I do, since he's been invited to more doggy birthday parties than I've been invited to regular parties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 154

No one messes with Ben and/or Jerry

By Keith - 07/08/2024 22:00 - Ireland

Today, I was instructed to tell my niece a bedtime story, so I made up a story where they come down to Earth and steal all the ice cream. Suddenly, she burst into tears and ran to her mom, screaming, "The aliens are coming! Save the ice cream!" Now, I'm banned from bedtime storytelling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 235

Powerful left foot

By tom0441 - 22/10/2011 08:34 - Reserved

Today, I saw a father and son playing football in a car park as I was on my way to work. The ball rolled towards me, so feeling nice, I kicked it back to them. Turns out it went straight through their car window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 073

You deserved it 6 837

Don't dream it's over

By Anonymous - 17/03/2023 22:00 - United States - Burleson

Today, I was cockblocked by a machine. I'm in the hospital so I'm attached to the typical machines that monitor vitals, including heart rate. I fell asleep and had a sex dream which made my heart rate go up, which set off the beeping from the machine monitoring my vitals. Bam, I woke up, sex dream over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 097

You deserved it 238

By mk - 20/06/2009 05:47 - Canada

Today, I had a big craving for a popsicle so I went to a convenience store and bought one. On my first bite, my upper lip got stuck to it. I ripped it off and spent the next 10 minutes trying to stop the bleeding from the giant cut I'd put in my lip. It hurt too much to finish the popsicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 436

You deserved it 13 440

Nutty

By Anonymous - 30/11/2020 20:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, i discovered I can only get an erection in the presence of a real woman. My days of busting nuts alone are over. Except I don't have a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 287

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, a little girl locked all the stalls in the girls' bathroom where I work and crawled under the doors. I then had to crawl around on the bathroom floor in order to unlock the doors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 428

You deserved it 1 281

Today, I found out that I spent a year helping my dad get back into shape, not for his own good health which was what I thought, but so that he could cheat on my mom with 5 other women. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 039

You deserved it 2 425

Today, while cleaning, I found a grocery bag with thongs in it. I took them out, smiled and jokingly asked my wife, who never wears them, if she's keeping secrets from me. Turns out she isn't and the bag is not hers. It's belongs to my 76-year-old grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 125

You deserved it 790

Today, my wife and I got back from our cruise ship holiday. It was intended to be ten nights of relaxation and romance. The first five nights she had her period, and the next five nights I had painful welts on my tip from the mess in my swim shorts. Ten days later, no sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 093

You deserved it 464

Today, my wife told me to my face that I’m the reason climate change is killing babies. All I did was throw a snotty hankie in the bin instead of composting it to be used in her vegetable patch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 102

Today, I learned that the girl I love thinks I'm gay. To be honest, I'm having doubts too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 362

You deserved it 15 357