Today, I was waiting in line with a friend, and she poked my stomach and said, "I wish I had your stomach." I asked her why. She said, "Boys wouldn't flirt with me." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at lunch, I was talking to my friends about having a boyfriend. Suddenly, some boy I don't even know said, "Nobody wants to date that ugly bitch." FML
Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML
Today, I was telling my best friend that I was feeling unattractive, and that I never get asked out. As she was trying to make me feel better, we were interrupted by a stranger trying to hit on her. FML
Today, I ate at a friend's house. Her 5-year-old son, who was at the table with us, looked at me and said quietly, "You're ugly." My friend told him off, causing him to cry, and shout, "But she isn't pretty!" FML
Today, I was talking with some friends and the girl I like. During a lull in the conversation, she looked at me and said, "Ugh, I really wanna pop your zits." FML
Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year-old man with a beer belly. FML
Today, while lying in bed with my girlfriend, she was grabbing the fat on my stomach. I said to her, "Quit touching my fat!" She replied, "So… don't touch you at all?" FML
Today, I was in the line at Chipotle and noticed a very attractive lady in her mid 20's. I deliberately took the table next to her and her friend and happened to overhear what they were talking about. They were both discussing how much diarrhea they were going to have when they got home. FML
Today, I was walking by a bunch of pretty girls. I'm not the most attractive boy, so I walked by nervously. I heard one yell, "Hey cutie!" I turned to look, and they started laughing. She said, "Oh my god, sorry! I assumed you were cute from your butt!" Apparently, my ass is nicer than my face. FML
Today, a stranger at the grocery store rubbed my belly and asked me when I'm due. I'm not pregnant. FML
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Top comments
viral_fml 0
What's not to get? Read again, her friend called her fat.
lexiBRo 0
.....or maybe get some nicer friends. If OP is comfortable w/ her body why should she lose weight over one idiot's comments?
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Comments (110)
robLehane_ 0
maybe you should lose some weight ;]
lexiBRo 0
.....or maybe get some nicer friends. If OP is comfortable w/ her body why should she lose weight over one idiot's comments?
ISellHerbs 0
Because maybe her friend gave her wake up call that she's at an unhealthy weight and she needs to make a change. Trust me, there's no such thing as overweight and healthy. Being overweight is a result of an unhealthy lifestyle.
Naheelawhatwhat 0
Yeah. Take it as a hint to lose some weight then. I love brutal honesty among friends.
synacious 0
Except that's not brutal honesty, it's being a catty bitch. If she was a friend at all, concerned about OPs weight, she would say "Hey OP's name, I'm really concerned about your health as of late." or maybe "Hey, I'm thinking of joining a gym/starting up an exercise routine, wanna be my partner? I'd love it if you were." In this case, it sounds like OPs friend isn't a friend at all. OP might not even be fat, her friend just might be a jealous bitch.
iareamused 0
i agree with both sides. 1) if you ARE overweight, then you should really try and get yourself into more healthy weight by exercising and eating healthier foods. 2) your friend is rude for calling you a fatass and not handle the situation better. that said, how do we know that the OP is actually really fat? the standard of our society has gone way wrong at times, and many people seem to think that the unhealthy anorexic looking girls with less than 0 size is normal, and that size 4 is too fat. for all we know, the OP could be perfect and that the friend had the unhealthy body.
Suffertree 0
Bitch, that's what you get for being a fatass. Shouldn't try to make your obviously not fat friend look bad. YDI. And #41. You're obviously a fat **** too, so shut it.
sacredpoppy 0
In response to #60: Oh, Suffertree, Suffertree, Suffertree. You really have come a long way! *misty smile* Remember how two years ago you still had to get your sixth grade teacher to wipe your ass for you after you took a shit? And remember how just a year and a half ago everyone who loves you was rooting for you to sing your ABCs correctly? I can't believe it was only three months ago that you were running around the neighborhood in a superman cape (and nothing else!) flinging crap at cars! When I think at how much you've managed to overcome your mental challenges, it really GMH. The doctor said that you'd never learn to read, let alone type. Well, looks like you showed him. Still. I know that you're upset that you still have to ride the short bus to school. I know that it hurts you that you don't have any friends, your head is shaped like a potato, and the girl who you met through the online dating service told you that she doesn't find mongoloids attractive. But remember, sweetheart, we've talked about this before. If you can't stop being an asshole online, we're going to have to take the computer away from you again. Remember what Mawmaw and Pawpaw told you? Big Boys don't act like this. Big Boys don't take a cyber shit on people online. Now why don't you get off the computer, put your helmet back on, and go chase bubbles out in the backyard. I know how much joy you find in doing that.
thabeast 0
maybe in like 10 yrs the OP will be fit and not fat so itd be okay what her friend said now but whatever
Clairina 0
LOL. thank you for saying that!
monts_fml 0
wow you are so witty and hilarious
CrazyDutch 0
ydi fattie
caseytheninja 6
cool story bro, tell it again!
AK 2
Wait, what? I'm not understanding this FML correctly. Boys won't flirt with your friend because she has a big tummy, isn't that right? Doesn't that mean your stomach is fine? I don't get it.
liindsey 25
She's fat, her friend is not. Her friend is saying she wishes she were fat so guys would stop flirting with her.
AK 2
Ah, thanks for clearing it up. I kept reading it as "I wish I had your stomach, because then boys wouldn't flirt with me" instead of "I wish I had your stomach so boys wouldn't flirt with me".
alijacket 0
LOL TydusArandor, how are those two not the same thing?
saze_fml 0
^ lol i was wondering the same thing
MrHighlight 0
They are the same, but I understand where he went wrong cause I did the exact same thing first. What he meant to say was: Instead of reading it as "Boys wouldn't flirt with me", he read it as "Boys won't flirt with me". The latter leads you to think that the FRIEND is fat, and not the OP.
rukiafujioka 0
That's exactly how I read it. This is a badly worded FML. Or maybe it's my FML for not being able to read it properly? xD
iareamused 0
agreed. i think this could go both way. i was totally thinking, maybe the OP misunderstood? and that the friend want the OP's stomach BECAUSE boys wouldnt flirt with her. but i guess for FML, the OP understood it as the friend wanted OP's stomach SO boys wouldn't flirt with her, aka fat. the post need to be written better.
AK 2
Whoops. I wrote it wrong. Meant to say "I wish I had your stomach because then boys WOULD flirt with me."
DangerousBabee 0
Lol #16 me too. i read it like 5 times trying to figure out the difference
foxyhasmybooty 16
It means that her friend is skinny and she called OP fat and she doesn't like to be hit on which I don't know why
CryingHowls 0
wait, i don't get it. isn't she complimenting you? you have a nice stomach, so people would/should/are more likely to flirt with u i don't get it... =S
ImAKlutz15 0
No the girl that said she wished she had the other girls stomach is obviously skinny and wished she had the other girls stomach so guys wouldnt flirt with her meaning the other girl is fat
AAAAHHHH12 2
No, she's fat, her friend isn't complimenting her. She's dissing her. Aw. :(
viral_fml 0
What's not to get? Read again, her friend called her fat.
Wheats62 0
Wow guys....you need to learn to read. Her friend told her that if her friend had the OP's stomach boys wouldn't flirt with her (The Friend). I.E. O.P is fatter than her friend
NuclearWinter 0
YDI, fatty.
Person1233 13
There is always an asshole putting YDI fatty with no intelligence behind it whatever. Possibly her friend is just being a bitch for an unknown reason.
iFRUiTTART 0
Ouch . . . I'm sure she was just messing with you . . . but way to lower your self esteem . . . lol.
Jman21 0
The friend wishes she was fat. Not that had to understand
supercatgirl 0
how does your weight stop guys from flirting with you at all. i'm on the heaver side and i have more guys interested in me then i want.. and they all like how i look. so im really confused on the having a bigger stomach means guys will stop flirting
JarJarBinks_fml 0
Guys who like non-flat stomachs probably have some fetish for ample chicks. This fml is in conformity with the general view of attraction
melocardio 0
Actually, many men like women who are "built for comfort." Voluptuous women have always been attractive to a lot of people. In the past, larger women were considered more beautiful than skinny women. Only modern pop culture and the fashion industry changed this.
I_am_stupid_also 6
Really the face is more important. It's just that fat chicks often have a scowl, and so it looks like they are fat to keep guys away. If your facial expression is friendly, guys are going to want to hang out with you.
JarJarBinks_fml 0
Your friend is rather insensitive. Next time, tell her "I wish I had your brain so I wouldn't understand what they're saying"
hellooamy 0
hahah, i should try that >:D
Xinabeth 0
#12 wins. But seriously, that really sucks. What a hobag.
icertainlysuck 0
best comment ever #12.
cattoe7 0
lol #12 yea sounds like your friend sucks though
ky_stone22 0
hahaha #12 epic win.
AFewScrewsLoose 0
LOL. :D #12 - my new favorite person.