Arbitrary recruitment methods

Today, I went to hand in a job application, and the supervisor wanted to ask me a few questions. I was nervous so I kept touching the fabric on a nearby display table. Only after I left did my friend tell me it was a pantie display, and that I was fondling underwear. FML

Concentrate!

Today, I was at a job interview. I was doing OK until I reached the part where I had to do a demo. As I lifted my arms, I my shirt got caught on the button of my pants, exposing my belly button. I tried to discreetly adjust, I ended up getting way too distracted mid-demonstration. The interviewer looked at me like I was a circus act. FML

Going well

Today, as a recruiter, I had an interview with a promising candidate for an open position at my company. The interview was going well until the candidate interrupted me halfway through to take a selfie. FML

Read other books, FFS

Today, I had a job interview, for which I spent hours preparing. My interviewer was nothing more than a pimple-faced teen, and after only two minutes of reviewing my qualifications, he lost interest and started asking such questions as which Hogwarts house is my favorite. FML

Why did I say that?

Today, after months of unemployment, I got an interview. It went great until the recruiter asked if I had questions. Trying to sound thoughtful, I asked, "What do employees dislike most about working here?" The recruiter laughed and said, "That's a unique way to phrase that." I spent the rest of the interview wondering why my brain chose violence at the worst possible moment. FML

Waste of time

Today, I went to a job interview. I never applied for the job, they'd sought me out, had a phone interview, and sent samples, all before the face-to-face interview. Turns out none of the people I met with had even read my resume or writing samples. I was told I might not be a good fit. FML

Clueless

Today, I went to an important job interview, only to be told I'm not what such a "prestigious" company was looking for. This from a pimply-faced 20-something who took a personal call on speakerphone mid-interview, and actually said "LMAO" out loud at his friend's joke. FML

Whatcha wanna know?

Today, during a job interview, I spent an eternity telling them everything about my experience, my character, my passions, and my previous jobs. Next thing I know, the recruiter said, “Now let’s get to the part where you tell us something about yourself!” FML

Today, my boss and I were bragging about our new phones. I unlocked mine to show its awesome display, and accidentally opened a job search app. FML

Internalized misogyny

Today, I was anonymously sent screenshots of texts from my new boss to my interviewer, saying I got almost all the questions wrong but to hire me anyway because they’re hiring quota has to be at least 40% women. That’s the only reason I got the job, tits and no brains. FML