Kids: Today, I went to the grocery store with my four-year-old. She...

By Anonymous - 15/03/2015 04:23 - United States - Statesboro

Today, I went to the grocery store with my four-year-old. She has some issues with wetting the bed, so I told her that if she wasn't sure if she was dreaming about "going", she should pinch herself to make sure she's awake. In the produce section, she pinched herself, smiled proudly, and peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 415

You deserved it 5 489

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By AdoKitty - 11/06/2015 03:04 - United States - Redlands

Today, the 4-year-old I was babysitting came up to me all happy, saying she went to the bathroom like a "big girl". Knowing she was just potty trained, I asked if she'd remembered to flush. Looking at me confused, she said, "But it's in my room." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 049

You deserved it 2 276

By seethroughpee - 06/05/2015 05:22 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 284

You deserved it 3 979

Well done sweetie

By Mommy - 29/09/2010 22:47 - United States

Today, my daughter watched a potty training video on Sesame Street. In the middle of the video, she got up and ran to her potty to practice. She then announced, "All done!", and proudly closed the lid to her potty. She then immediately stood on top of it and peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 497

You deserved it 3 670

By Username - 17/03/2011 04:04

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 867

You deserved it 5 239

By sleepy - 23/05/2011 04:57 - United States

Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 877

You deserved it 8 362

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 555

You deserved it 3 440

By got to be kidding me - 02/05/2019 14:00 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, my eight-year-old daughter refused to use the port-a-potty at the fair. She preferred to piss her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 004

You deserved it 286

By Eringobrag88 - 27/06/2011 16:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 270

You deserved it 4 011

Kids Say the Darndest Things

By Lolabunny - 21/08/2018 04:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I went grocery shopping with my 4-year-old after having some major bathroom issues. As I walked over to get bananas, she yelled out in the middle of the produce section, "DO YOU STILL HAVE DIARRHEA MOMMY?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 821

You deserved it 346

By levi Glasscock - 15/04/2011 13:52 - United States

Today, my mom called me and said, "I made your sister laugh so hard she peed her pants." I got home and noticed she also peed on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 127

You deserved it 2 981

cutycat136 28

Sunday 15 March 2015 16:03

Maybe you'll have to explain things a little more with this one. Maybe also mention where she could go if she knew she was awake. Not just that she could go if she was awake :P

russiancat464 12

Sunday 15 March 2015 16:02

cleanup on aisle 9!

Comments

feven 32

Sunday 15 March 2015 16:01

Wetting the bed or peeing everywhere?

khaoticpanda 28

Sunday 15 March 2015 16:48

I believe OP said wetting the bed

PurpleSprite 7

Sunday 15 March 2015 19:01

SIGH don't worry, #1. I got the joke.

russiancat464 12

Sunday 15 March 2015 16:02

cleanup on aisle 9!

Swandive235 27

Sunday 15 March 2015 20:55

Yeah, four year olds aren't very compliant. Or smart...

ninety 25

Sunday 15 March 2015 22:29

On the contrary, I have met some very smart four year olds. As cliche as it sounds, it's all in how a child is brought up.

cutycat136 28

Sunday 15 March 2015 16:03

Maybe you'll have to explain things a little more with this one. Maybe also mention where she could go if she knew she was awake. Not just that she could go if she was awake :P

SeanLewis 17

Sunday 15 March 2015 16:03

Urine a lot of trouble with the store now.

mellajella 14

Sunday 15 March 2015 17:19

I bet the janitor is pissed off.

fakedsincerity 32

Sunday 15 March 2015 23:59

at least he wasn't pissed on.

ProfessorMctitie 20

Sunday 15 March 2015 16:05

pee on her

UhHuhHoney 20

Sunday 15 March 2015 16:55

Wtf is wrong with you?

1dvs_bstd 41

Sunday 15 March 2015 16:56

I don't think OP's R Kelly.

usaidwhat82 21

Sunday 15 March 2015 17:33

Right, like it's such a great idea to pee on your own child.

ShowMeKay 20

Sunday 15 March 2015 18:30

As opposed to any other child #30? Haha I got what you meant though :)

Caroline_Grace_ 20

Sunday 15 March 2015 16:07

Kids. Whatcha gonna do about them?

ComoEsJuan 24

Sunday 15 March 2015 16:16

Teach them. Make them learn things. Oh, you know, the right things to do and stuff.

201chasew 22

Sunday 15 March 2015 17:16

That sounds like a lot of effort #17. I don't think many people do that anymore.

rayman173 2

Monday 16 March 2015 0:14

not have them.......solves all problems

kaseyyeahh 7

Sunday 15 March 2015 16:07

man your kids retarded

abNormal62 23

Sunday 15 March 2015 16:20

Spoken like a person who has never had a kid or a conscience. She will be toilet trained shortly How long will it take you to develop tact and respect!