Miscellaneous: Today, at my softball game, there was one spot left for center...

By JRock - 22/02/2009 20:41 - United States

Today, at my softball game, there was one spot left for center field. The coach had to choose between me or the girl who forgot her glasses and was blind without them. He chose her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 833

You deserved it 4 853

Miscellaneous

Mother of the year

Batman

Unreasonable

Curiosity!

By Anonymous - 31/12/2019 14:00

Today, I got curious and decided to look for my ex's social media after he blocked me off everything. I found him on LinkedIn and it is only after I click on his profile that I remembered, he will be notified that I looked him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 3 101

By Anonymous - 21/10/2011 18:58 - United States

Today, it took me and my husband three hours to put our new book shelves together. It took our cat all of three seconds to knock it all down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 768

You deserved it 5 393

By Sam - 20/08/2010 05:34 - United States

Today, after twisting my knee playing soccer with my friends, I had to take myself to the hospital. Apparently finishing the game was more important to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 943

You deserved it 4 636

By unknown - 28/05/2019 04:00

Today, I dissected a baby pig. All I could think about was Wilber from Charlotte's Web. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 341

You deserved it 296

By Stewtato - 12/07/2019 22:30

Today, a bat flew into my house. We locked it in my brother's room, complete with cats, and just barely got it back outside alive. We later found out it was an endangered species, so we also narrowly avoided arrest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 350

You deserved it 470

By nosebleeder - 13/02/2013 20:31 - Sweden

Today, I was terribly late for class, so I rushed to the classroom door, thinking it was unlocked. I smacked face-first into the glass, and awkwardly fell to the floor. Once I got back up, I peeked through the glass, only to realise it wasn't even my class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 584

You deserved it 8 752

By HellaBomber91 - 20/11/2009 13:56 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boss listens to the things we say about him on the audio-enabled cameras at our work. I'm thus currently jobless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 061

You deserved it 40 574

By Anonymous - 23/02/2015 17:56 - United States

Today, I'm sick with a stomach flu. For the last 5 hours, I've been going back and forth from the couch to the bathroom. Each time I get into the bathroom, I have to make a choice of whether to sit on the toilet or kneel by it. Each time I have to clean up the other mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 573

You deserved it 5 916

By teardrops - 21/09/2010 08:50 - Australia

Today, I got punched in the face by a girl for asking if she was okay after I had seen her crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 419

You deserved it 5 173

By AshWil - 26/06/2015 16:54 - United States - Washington

Today, I accidentally posted an extensive, negative review of the gynecologist I visited earlier this week. I messed up and posted it from my work's customer service email, so now it looks like the large, well-known company I work for had a poor gynecological experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 853

You deserved it 22 997

PRAISE THE LORD!

By cantgetup - 03/04/2011 04:10 - Canada

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend can only orgasm when we have sex to gospel music. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 421

You deserved it 6 394

By smidgit - 19/05/2016 17:32

Today, after many days of messing around with wording and pictures, a huge and expensive printed card order came in to the office. I spelt the first word wrong. I can't get a refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 869

You deserved it 9 762

By TheAce44 - 26/07/2015 04:38 - United States - Davison

Today, my friend told me that Otter Box phone cases protect the phone whether it's thrown or just dropped. I disagreed. He then threw his phone across the room into a cement wall to prove it. The phone's screen was completely shattered and now he thinks I owe him a new phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 397

You deserved it 2 803

Empathy

By Anonymous - 16/04/2021 23:59 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, I had a miscarriage. My partner doesn't understand why I'm upset, saying, "It wasn't even a real baby yet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 507

You deserved it 115

By Anonymous - 18/08/2011 07:42 - United States

Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 027

You deserved it 39 321

By Samantha Glennie - 13/07/2018 20:30

Today, due to the high pollen count and despite taking hay fever medicine, I passed out in the bathroom from not being able to breathe. My mother accused me of doing it on purpose to make her late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 620

You deserved it 221

That's a great look!

By MissQ - 20/06/2020 17:01

Today, I was trying to learn how to whistle. On the elevator ride up to my room, I was experimenting with tongue placement and mouth position. At the height of my facial contortions and probable spitting, the elevator doors opened to reveal the guy I've been crushing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 072

You deserved it 564

By veggieluver - 16/01/2013 00:58 - United States - Scarsdale

Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 893

You deserved it 3 234

By fisted - 12/06/2015 13:42 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was out for a walk, wearing a T-shirt with a fist on it and the words "Bump it." A guy came up to me, looked at my shirt, shrugged, and punched me in the stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 886

You deserved it 11 689

By Anonymous - 15/08/2014 03:35 - United States - Brandon

Today, I went to my new gynecologist. He has an eye twitch, and every time he asks about my genitals, he winks at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 878

You deserved it 4 308

By LonnyLonnikins - 09/04/2009 05:07 - Canada

Today, I went to pick up my sister's wedding cake. It was a nice day, the shop was close, and the cake wasn't too big so I walked. On my way back, I stepped aside for a kid on a bike, tripped over my shoelaces, and dumped my sister's expensive, custom-designed cake. The wedding is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 336

You deserved it 39 966

By OhDear - 24/02/2011 20:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed to be quite the gentleman. I was proven wrong when he told me to "shut it" during dinner, stiffed me on the bill, and then left me at the restaurant so he could get his own taxi home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 732

You deserved it 5 071

By mykodu - 02/10/2014 20:29 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 254

You deserved it 4 856

The best time of your life

By Anonymous - 02/08/2021 20:01

Today, the girl I've been flirting with for a few weeks invited me to a house party. I gradually found out that she's been talking to my good buddy, they've been dating, actually they've been banging the whole time. And now she's in a bikini bouncing on his lap as we play Cards Against Humanity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 984

You deserved it 185

By Anonymous - 07/11/2015 07:12 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I hit it off with a girl at a club and I brought her back to my place. I was sure I was finally going to score, until my useless cat attacked her as we walked upstairs. She fell down the stairs and dislocated her ankle. Just my luck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 775

You deserved it 5 109

By Anonymous - 22/04/2009 15:26 - Australia

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend saying she needed more phone credit, so I bought her more and got another message saying "Great, now I have enough credit for this..." as she spelled out a three page message breaking up with me. Yes, I paid for her to break up with me via text. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 630

You deserved it 8 110

By xCZ75x - 13/06/2017 13:00 - United Kingdom - Potters Bar

Today, my best friend on Snapchat is my mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 110

You deserved it 710

By kris - 25/04/2014 15:40 - United States - Upland

Today, not even a week after I was laid off from my job, I got a call from my old boss. He offered me a "new" job at the company, which turned out to be just like my old one, but with drastically reduced pay. I'm so broke and desperate that I accepted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 603

You deserved it 4 301

By I'm a joke? - 30/05/2013 05:37

Today, I found out that me having a boyfriend is an on-going family joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 574

You deserved it 4 164

By anonymous - 15/12/2010 05:27

Today, I found out that the fat sweaty guy at my job frequently uses my rub-on deodorant and puts it back in my drawer after he's done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 299

You deserved it 3 160

By Ryan - 07/02/2010 14:18 - France

Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 402

You deserved it 4 027

By Anonymous - 23/10/2010 16:01 - United States

Today, my parents told me about how they met. I'd already known they were eight years apart, but I never knew my dad started dating my mom when he was 21 and she was 13. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 590

You deserved it 4 089

By Anonymous - 07/02/2015 18:32 - United Kingdom - Wallasey

Today, my sister tried to convince me to go to a plastic surgeon, because "Bitchface Syndrome's no joke." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 182

You deserved it 3 918

By benjavel71 - 10/01/2017 11:13 - United States - Prairie Grove

Today, I thought about going to visit an old girlfriend of mine with hopes of getting a little head. Unfortunately, I didn't know it would be head lice I'd get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 776

You deserved it 8 923

By Anonymous - 03/07/2019 07:00 - Vietnam - Hanoi

Today, it's my birthday and I had to work. My boss wished me a happy birthday, and then told me I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 013

You deserved it 131

By Anonymous - 26/04/2017 12:00

Today, my dog ate so much toilet paper that she can probably wipe herself from the inside out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 644

You deserved it 364

Panic

By Lexy - 19/07/2021 07:01

Today, I'm so afraid of Covid, I lied to my friends to avoid hanging out with them every time I was invited. Yes, I've been vaccinated already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 1 193

I am very hungry

By I'mSoHungry - 11/01/2020 08:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, a bird flew into the workshop where I work, gave itself a tour of the place, then promptly pooped on my lunch and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 276

You deserved it 178

By hard - 09/08/2010 07:07 - Canada

Today, I was at the grocery store and this hot guy was staring at my ass, so I smiled at him. My mother noticed he was checking my ass out, and she approached him and said "I know she has a big ass, but it's rude to stare, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 578

You deserved it 5 783

By blueheron93 - 13/11/2010 14:25 - Germany

Today, I realized that the only boy who ever called me pretty was my 5-year-old brother. My sister then scolded him for lying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 085

You deserved it 3 058

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

holynemesis1208 3

Send a private message

Sunday 22 February 2009 23:25

its only center field don't feel bad.

Jamsmucus 0

Send a private message

Sunday 22 February 2009 23:17

You need to work on those skills!

Jamsmucus 0

Send a private message

Sunday 22 February 2009 23:17

You need to work on those skills!

LiiLii_13 0

Send a private message

Monday 31 May 2010 23:58

howw sadd :/ ii feel for yew buddii.:(

holynemesis1208 3

Send a private message

Sunday 22 February 2009 23:25

its only center field don't feel bad.

bebe088 0

Send a private message

Saturday 23 July 2011 17:09

hey center fields important.

suckerz 0

Send a private message

Sunday 22 February 2009 23:36

you must really suck then

sensual_kidney 0

Send a private message

Monday 23 February 2009 0:53

You must play like garbage... Get better maybe?

dogpup4 23

Send a private message

Friday 11 November 2011 1:03

Yep because its really that simple.

godhelpme 0

Send a private message

Monday 23 February 2009 1:42

dont feel to bad. maybe he just wanted to play that girl cause she sits out alot

mad_fml 0

Send a private message

Monday 23 February 2009 2:23

oi that sucks. maybe the coach didn't know about the glasses. =]

0 3

Monday 23 February 2009 4:47

She never said she was on the team

mcinnesandrew 6

Send a private message

Thursday 10 May 2012 8:02

Mind=Blown :O Except for it says it's "her" softball game

Easy_Target 0

Send a private message

Monday 23 February 2009 19:42

Ouch.

MissMoonshine 0

Send a private message

Monday 23 February 2009 21:53

folks who are blind without their glasses don't forget their glasses

xohkayleigh 0

Send a private message

Thursday 5 March 2009 1:41

thats me for surre. lol same thing happened to me yesterday.

Nearly

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23

You deserved it 4

Today, I realized the cute girl with a nice ass, long hair and a great personality I've been talking to is actually a very gay dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18

You deserved it 47

Spicy

Today, I had a horrible date with this guy I’ve been seeing. He wanted me to give it up, but I wasn’t ready, so he dumped me on the spot. I went home crying to my mother and her response was, “Stop being such a prude! What are you? Ten? Grow the fuck up!” Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 175

Today, my wife and I had arranged a threesome with a guy, but I was late home so they “had the threesome without me.” It’s not cheating, because I obviously knew she was going to have sex with him during the threesome, but me not being there makes me mad and I can’t coherently explain why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 131

You deserved it 1 418

Curiosity!

PRAISE THE LORD!

Empathy

That's a great look!

The best time of your life

Panic

I am very hungry

Add a comment - Reply to : #

Top comments

Comments