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Don't point out my shortcomings

By Anonymous - 20/06/2019 22:05

Today, I told my boyfriend that eventually I want to get my ears pinned back because I think that they stick out too much. I pulled my hair back to show him, and he said, "Yeah, they're different sizes too, and the left one sticks out more than the right one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 717

You deserved it 619

Ungeeked

By Anonymous - 28/02/2021 11:01 - United States - Weyauwega

Today, while trying to fix a corrupted USB hard drive with my wife’s computer I accidentally wiped her laptop drive instead of clearing the external drive. I’m not allowed on her computers anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 1 632

Mother of the year

By autistic and ashamed - 28/05/2022 14:00

Today, for the millionth time, my mother grounded me for “giving her a dirty look.” I can't see my own face, and I was actually in a good mood at the time. Whenever I accidentally give someone a dirty look, it always comes as a complete surprise, and my mother refuses to believe this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 106

Jeremy?

By Anonymous - 20/04/2022 22:00

Today, I shat myself in the middle of Walmart. It dripped out the bottom of my pants till i made it to the restroom, which was on the other side of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 149

You deserved it 268

Sharing is caring

By Eddie - 07/03/2021 23:00

Today, I caught my sister using my shaver to trim her pubic hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 142

Gruesome

By AbysmalAbyss - 11/03/2021 08:04

Today, it's been seven days since I had my wisdom tooth removed, under guidance from both a doctor and a dentist to help with frequent headaches. The dentist cut open my cheek during surgery, which got infected, and now I also have dry socket. My mouth is causing me agony, and so are my headaches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 121

You deserved it 90

Ready for take off

By Bawbag - 19/08/2023 10:00

Today, I attempted a DIY home improvement project: installing a ceiling fan. After hours of sweat and frustration, I managed to hang it up, only to realize I'd installed it upside down. Now, instead of cooling, the fan blades are dangerously close to becoming an unconventional chandelier-slash-helicopter. At least I can say my home decor is truly "uplifting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 582

By UniqueKay - 15/07/2019 06:06

Today, on our way home, my cousin, step dad and I noticed a man trying to kidnap a young girl. As good citizens, we called the police so they could catch the man. Nine police cars showed up at my house because dispatch told them we were the kidnappers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 039

You deserved it 157

You what now?

By WTF - 29/08/2023 20:00

Today, my lunatic conspiracy theorist coworker started ranting about meat bans. I rolled my eyes, but he pulled up my city's website, where they said they wanted to "phase out" meat and dairy consumption by 2030. These nuts are supposed to be wrong! What the fuck? FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 354

Late stage capitalism

By Jayy - 04/09/2023 12:30 - South Africa - Germiston

Today, the company I work for is now an online company, meaning we work from home. My boss suggested I live with him and I would still get my salary; if I don’t, I will get paid via 3% commissions on systems that barely sell. The worst part of all of this is that every day I get shouted at for nothing. I hate my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 142

KKK recruitment drive

By lordoftheweird - 16/05/2022 02:00

Today, I had to explain to multiple people that even though I'm white, I have no interest in joining a hate group. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 165

You deserved it 128

Do not attempt this at home, or on the road

By Anonymous - 25/02/2025 05:59 - Australia

Today, I was eating whilst driving. I tried to stop sauce from spilling on the console and instead smashed into a parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 1 639

lukey101 tells us more.

lukey101 23

Tuesday 25 February 2025 2:24

Wow, forgot there are so many 100% perfect people out there who have never made a stupid mistake in their lives! This was a momentary lapse of judgement that resulted in a pretty minor accident, that being the first and only I’ve had in 20+ years of driving. I was not driving drunk, speeding or doing anything overly reckless. I was eating. Silly mistake, yes. Don’t know if it really warrants the nasty comments.

Fight!

By Anonymous - 28/03/2021 08:01

Today, I got a call from the county’s courthouse where I used to live saying I was being sued for fraud and expected in court to defend myself. Apparently, my ex took a loan out in my name and now I get to pay $2300 worth of legal fees and restitution to this loan company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 148

You deserved it 92

The enforcer

By Anonymous - 13/09/2023 16:00

Today my auntie who helps run a HOA sent me out on a quick errand to deliver some fines. Now I know why she didn’t want to go herself. Several fines were for one guy, one very large angry guy, who let his dog trap me in the garden while he yelled at me for 5 whole minutes until I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 218

There's a first time for anything

By OptimalPath - 27/09/2023 06:00

Today, I booked a driver's ed course to avoid 3 points on my driving licence for doing 40 in 30 zone. That day, my wife kept quarrelling in the car, I got angry at her for a second, apparently also stepping on the gas. A triumphant copper with a speed gun was right there. I haven't had a speeding ticket in 25 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 782

Oh nooooo

By Fucked. - 26/04/2021 07:59

Today, my supervisor at work is now my father-in-law. My girlfriend told me that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 835

You deserved it 192

Snitches get bitches

By d for vendetta - 21/04/2021 23:00

Today, after weeks of asking my neighbor nicely to pick up his dog’s crap out of the common area, I got fed up and reported him to the landlord and the city. He’s now been given two options; either get rid of his dog or move out. He’s now sworn revenge on me, even though he was the one being gross. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 335

You deserved it 263

One-upped

By Anonymous - 28/03/2025 20:00 - Canada - King City

Today, I went out to see my uncle on my mom’s side and his family for my mom’s birthday. My oldest cousin insisted that he and his wife give their gift first. It was a stuffed bear, along with the news that they’re expecting their first kid, and making my mom a great-aunt. My gift was a cake she used to make. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 95

Alexa, play Blindness (Peel Session version) by The Fall

By Susan - 05/07/2022 14:00

Today, after waiting for 13 years, Avatar 2 got a release date. We tried to hide it from my dad, because he went totally blind a few months ago, and now he'll never see it. Somehow he found out about it. He didn't cry when he went blind, but he cried today when he realised he'll never see Pandora again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 697

You deserved it 148

Brain worms

By The Wherewolf - 08/10/2023 19:30

Today, I was so tired at work that I typed out "wherehouse" instead of "warehouse" in a document shared with my co-workers. It took me several seconds to realize why the heck the spell checker had underlined "wherehouse" in red. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 204

Fancy seeing you here

By Anonymous - 26/06/2022 04:00

Today, I finally made it to my hotel in Florida, only to discover my boss was holidaying in the same hotel with her wife. So far I’ve run into them three times, at the pool, in the bar, and in the gym, and every time she ends up asking me work related questions. It's like I never left the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 296

You deserved it 110

Interruption

By Freddie06 - 18/10/2023 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a first date, and it was going surprisingly well. As we were saying goodbye, I leaned in for a kiss. Just as our lips were about to meet, a car full of teenagers drove by and one of them yelled, "TONGUE SANDWICH." My date burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 160

He Mad

By kitty - 09/09/2019 02:02 - United Kingdom - Exeter

Today, my grandpa yelled at me, telling me to stop being ugly and rude. I only asked if he could cut the watermelon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 549

You deserved it 158

The state of sex ed

By Jon - 02/07/2022 02:00 - Canada - Kanata

Spicy

Today, I'm a divorced father, and my daughter is having a sleepover with 5 friends. They are about to jump in the hot tub and one of them is using one of my girlfriend's tampons. This led to a discussion about virginity and hymens. The quality of sex ed in my province is terrible, but I'm hiding instead of correcting them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 348

You deserved it 502

Missing BFF

By HerNameWasRose - 06/05/2021 11:01

Today, it's my best friend's birthday. She went missing almost five years ago. My parents tell me to just "get over it", as if missing her is wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 455

You deserved it 107

Line go up

By Francis - 25/10/2023 10:00

Today, I was fired for following my supervisor's directions. That is to say, I was told to take away contacts from our team to avoid metric drops. The client caught us both, and my supervisor simply threw me under the bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 187

Family outing

By Anonymous - 20/04/2025 20:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, I’m being threatened with police action after my twins “beat up” a big kid for grabbing my daughter’s butt. They hit him with rocks and kicked him repeatedly. My twins are 7, my daughter is 10, and the other kid is 12. Maybe little perv in training should keep his hands to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 89

Red flags

By Destitute - 21/07/2022 06:00

Today, I learned that when communication is getting shorter with you, it’s getting longer with someone else. My husband never tells me about his day anymore, but he constantly texts his coworker outside work. He vehemently insists she’s only a coworker and nothing else, and he’s “allowed to have friends”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 251

You deserved it 220

Emergencies can't be choosers

By Anonymous - 20/07/2022 12:00 - United States

Today, my mom argued with me that I should have went to an emergency room a further 18 minutes away from me, during a near fatal allergic reaction, so I would've received "better care." FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 88

Best excuse

By Magellanic L - 07/05/2025 03:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my girlfriend, who's been in relationship with me for almost two years, told me she's worried that she's going to leave me for another rich guy "in the future", so to prevent that, she's gonna leave me right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 88

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Today, this girl I've been talking to texted me, saying she was going to visit. Trying to be sweet, I bought her $50 worth of chocolate and a cute card. Turns out she meant to send that text to her ex. Seems like the only thing I'll get from this relationship is diabetes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 091

You deserved it 5 478

Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 263

You deserved it 10 731

Today, I came back to my room and sat down at my desk to find pile short, curly hairs on it. Neither me or my roommate have curly hair, and it isn't mine. I think he trimmed his pubes over my desk and forgot to clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 569

You deserved it 2 993

Today, my girlfriend and I watched Juno. When the baby is born in the film, I put my arm around my girlfriend and whispered in her ear that one day it could be us having a baby. She responded by punching me in the happy sacks and telling me I wasn't getting any from her in a long time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 131

You deserved it 32 466

Today, I went to pick up my wedding dress from the seamstress, only to find out that my fiancé called two weeks ago to say I wanted the dress "tie-dyed to match our new theme." She believed him. Our wedding is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 991

You deserved it 240

Today, I tried on a sweater in a store. It was a bit tight, but I managed to get it on. When I tried to take it off, it got stuck halfway. After several failed attempts, a sales associate had to help me out of it, while other customers watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 500