Today, my cat learned that smacking his feather toy against the metal barrel I store it in will result in a loud and irritating sound that gets me out of bed fast. Taking it out and putting it on the floor doesn't work, because he learned how to pick it up and drop it in the barrel. My cat is a goddamn genius. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML
Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML
Today, I bought my cat a catnip-filled toy that's shaped like a fish. He pounced on it, wrestled with it, and then got so scared of it for no reason that he dashed full speed into the wall. FML
Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML
Today, my cat learned the hard way what the bathtub is for. While I was in it. FML
Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML
Today, after encouraging my cat to try his new cat bed all day with no success, I attempted to gently place him in it. Instead, he managed to fear-spray me in the face. Like a skunk. I didn't even know cats could do that. FML
Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML
Today, I got tired of my cat trying to open the bag that contains his food when he literally has food in his bowl, so I put the bag on a high shelf he can't reach. Since then, he's been giving me all sorts of dirty looks whenever we're in the same room, to try and make me feel bad. FML
Today, and for the past few months, my cat has taken to yelling at me whenever I walk into the room he's in. I have no idea what he's so bent out of shape about, and I couldn't even make a reasonable guess as to why. FML
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Top comments
FluffythePink 24
STOP acknowledging it NOW. The instant that furry little bastard associates that act with attention, you're screwed. Ignore it. When there's no attention, no fuss, the cat will get bored of it. Good luck.
jlc82 14
find a way to seal the barrel or find something too heavy for him to move to put over the opening
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Comments (5)
FluffythePink 24
STOP acknowledging it NOW. The instant that furry little bastard associates that act with attention, you're screwed. Ignore it. When there's no attention, no fuss, the cat will get bored of it. Good luck.
jlc82 14
find a way to seal the barrel or find something too heavy for him to move to put over the opening
d j mom 9
how about the obvious... replace the Metal barrel with something less noisy?
tiptoppc 21
Cats are glorious. Smarter than we give them credit for. Now try this with 5 (FIVE!) cats like I have. Sometimes you gotta appreciate their intelligence and roll with it. One of mine loves to find strings and drag it into the room and yowl until you play with him using it. He’s dumb in anything else but manipulation it seems. But cats figuring stuff out is funny and amazing.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
The cat is obviously smarter than you are. Don't put it in there. Put it in a drawer or something the cat can't get to. Lock it up if you must. It's a simple solution.