The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

Anonymous · 11 September 2022, 12:30 ·Belgium

Out of the frying pan…

Today, after I'd left my former job because of burnout for another job, where they'd said handling call time wasn't important, my new employer demands to fill in every day during the week how much time I spent on each task and calls, bathroom or coffee breaks, as "waste-time", and we need to fill in how much time we "wasted" pissing or shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 076 You deserved it 148

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Diet time 4 me smh · 12 July 2025, 00:00 ·United States

Acts of service

Today, I asked my best friend, who I love, what his new girlfriend has that I don’t. I've gone the extra mile, did favors, been there at his highest and lowest for about a year and a half, yet he rejected me and chose a girl who he’s merely known 5 months. Apparently a slim waist and perky boobs/butt matters more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 199 You deserved it 721

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dirty boy · 5 July 2021, 11:00

I'm just saying…

Today, what started as an amazing day with hiking, a picnic, more hiking, then a romantic nature walk, ended in a ridiculous screaming match between me and my boyfriend. I only asked him to shower before laying in our bed when we got home, since we were covered in sweat, bug bites and dirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091 You deserved it 133

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SingleSoon · 8 January 2024, 22:00 ·United States

No way

Today, I moved my kids and myself into my parents' house. My soon to be ex-husband keeps calling me from different numbers, crying for me to take him back. The sorry bastard kissed his best friend instead of me at midnight on New Year's Day because I was attending to my son who was afraid of fireworks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 667 You deserved it 367

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eww David · 6 July 2021, 02:01

Grossed out

Today, my friend is upset with me since I never want to hang out at her house or eat her food. The problem is she has multiple dog beds in her kitchen and a cat litter box under her dining room table. I love her and invite her to hang out other places, but she’s still offended I won’t go to her’s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958 You deserved it 158

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Sad sad bride · 16 July 2025, 09:00 ·United States

Wedding bells

Today, my boyfriend of several years told me the only way he’d ever consider getting married was if we had no wedding, just signing the paper at the courthouse with no ceremony or guests whatsoever, and as long as we don’t tell anyone about it. He doesn’t get why I’m devastated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503 You deserved it 181

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Anonymous · 17 September 2022, 09:30

No Columbo

Today, as my wife loves games, she set me a series of clues leading to our date night, where she's waiting for me. WHY? She knows how bad a problem solver I am. By the time she realised I was going to be hopelessly late, and answered my 50 missed calls, I’d only solved the first 2 clues out of 18 total. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080 You deserved it 225

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BigGinge · 10 July 2021, 22:01

Toxic masculinity

Today, I'm depressed. After trying to talk to my boss about it, twice, as it has been affecting my work, I've been told to, "Stop thinking about it" and to, "Man up." He has also told me to come to him with any problems I'm having, and to be honest with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 984 You deserved it 199

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Anonymous · 10 October 2022, 17:30 ·Turkey 🌶️ Spicy

Romance is dead

Today, my girlfriend and I haven't had sex for a long time, so when she got out of the shower I was ready on our bed to finally do it. Her response? "Really? Now? I just got out of the shower." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 560 You deserved it 517

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Anonymous · 3 August 2025, 09:00 ·Buchanan, United States

Happy oddly specific day to you!

Today, it's National Girlfriends Day. My boyfriend stood me up, blamed it on his mom, and then decided he was going to go hang out with his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325 You deserved it 204

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Anonymous · 5 February 2024, 15:00 ·Field, Canada

What happens on vacation stays on vacation

Today, I got back from a fun vacation I took with my husband. During the vacation, I participated in a wet t-shirt contest and a bunch of pictures of me flashing my breasts and waving my t shirt over my head during the contest got posted online. My whole office is teasing me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192 You deserved it 1 121

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Anonymous · 20 March 2020, 00:01

Right place, wrong time

Today, as I'd been going to a gym with my wife as a guest on her account, I joined as a regular member. However, before I had time to go under my own membership, the gym closed down due to the coronavirus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 560 You deserved it 255

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Anonymous · 8 February 2024, 22:00

TMI great-grannie!

Today, at a big family wedding, my great nana shared quite loudly with us that most of the people in the pub wouldn’t exist if at 15 she hadn’t dumped her lying boyfriend, then made herself feel better by losing her virginity to an Italian waiter and accidentally becoming pregnant with my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513 You deserved it 169

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Dumb, Dumber, and Dumberer · 12 October 2022, 20:00

Flash, ah ah!

Today, a bird ran into my window. My overzealous cat ran at it like the Flash and smashed his face in the window. He yelped and ran away, then as I was running to see if he was OK, I slammed my face in the door jamb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841 You deserved it 281

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Anonymous · 14 October 2022, 14:00

Been here long?

Today, while I was working from home on my laptop and had my feet up on the coffee table, I felt something on my foot. I looked down to see a spider the size of a quarter on top of my bare foot. It started doing something so I froze, hoping it wouldn't bite me. Instead, it anchored the start of its web to my skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946 You deserved it 180

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Smoke Undetected · 14 October 2022, 00:00 ·United States

Melting

Today, I found out that our smoke detector doesn't work when my roommate turned on the wrong burner while trying to cook. Our air fryer was on said burner, and it started to melt. It sat there for who knows how long until I noticed smoke everywhere and went to investigate. We don't have an air fryer now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817 You deserved it 172

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Anonymous · 19 August 2025, 22:00 ·Seattle, United States

Teenagers…

Today, my sister is being a complete jerk, hogging the TV (we listen to music on it) and is being bratty about it too. She smirks at me behind my parents' back, and says snarky comments too. When I tell my parents about it, then she acts all innocent and LIES, and then they don't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423 You deserved it 140

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Creeper · 20 February 2024, 16:00 ·Seattle, United States

Mortifying

Today, I accidentally liked my ex's new partner's photo while stalking them on social media. Now I have to decide between pretending it never happened if they happened to notice, or sending a fruit basket with a note that says, "Sorry for the accidental like. It's not you; it's muscle memory." FML

I agree, your life sucks 102 You deserved it 717

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Sold my soul for 5000 · 26 August 2025, 09:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

The body keeps the score

Today, a guy offered me five grand for a video call. As an OnlyFans model, I jumped at the chance. He wanted me to list off everything I regretted or disliked about my life while masturbating. Fifteen minutes later, I had the worst panic attack I've ever had. Six hours later and I'm still shaking and sobbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 203 You deserved it 633

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Pinkstone · 26 October 2022, 14:00 🌶️ Spicy

Crystal mommies rise up

Today, my husband got me a birthstone bracelet for my birthday. I open the box and it’s a Ruby bracelet - July birthday. I was supposed to have a Pink Tourmaline bracelet since I have an October birthday. Turns out he confused me with the skank he’s banging. Her birthday's in July. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 982 You deserved it 237

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SOME QUESTIONS DON'T NEED ANSWERS · 29 February 2024, 15:00 ·United States

Accounting

Today, I came home to my boyfriend weighing a cup of shit on the kitchen scale. After I finished screaming in horror, he said he wanted to know how much his average dump weighed, so he could calculate how many pounds of shit he'd made in his adult life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581 You deserved it 129

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Anonymous · 8 March 2024, 20:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Call the cops

Today, I discovered that my fiancé bought my engagement ring with money he earned by selling my nudes to online perverts. I don’t even know how or when he took those photos, I’ve never ever allowed him to take photos of me naked. It’s disgusting FML

I agree, your life sucks 743 You deserved it 156

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Loco · 9 August 2021, 14:01

Father and son time

Today, every time I play on my PS4, my father does nothing but pester me about, "wasting my time on that garbage" and insists that I watch soap operas with him instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985 You deserved it 108

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ButYTho · 6 November 2022, 06:00 ·Spain

Thanks, I guess…

Today, a friend and I celebrated our birthdays together with our mutual friends. I bought them a game from their favourite series, commissioned a sketch, and chipped with others to get them various other presents. I got a mug and a hentai t-shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827 You deserved it 272

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poor kid · 17 August 2021, 19:59 ·United States

OK Mrs Miyagi

Today, I had to ban a mom from practice, which sadly meant the kid had to leave too. Several times the mom had been loud, disruptive and even rushed onto the mat because I wasn’t teaching her son the "right way". I’m a third degree black belt and I teach 5-6 year olds on my days off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 153 You deserved it 90

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Anonymous · 17 August 2021, 14:01 ·Gilbert, United States

You tried

Today, after thinking my crush maybe liked me back, I confessed. He didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977 You deserved it 118

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Anonymous · 11 November 2022, 04:00

Who's in charge?

Today, I’ve been asking both my health insurance and the clinic in question under which circumstances an elective procedure would be covered by insurance. Each one of them tells me that the other has to make the decision. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815 You deserved it 97

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That 30s Show · 19 March 2024, 09:00 ·Chicago, United States

But mah granbabies!

Today, my mother was guilting my wife and I for freezing embryos as a delay tactic to deny her grandchildren. Fed up, I told her, "Why don't you throw in a 'You'll miss me when I'm dead' to finish this guilt trip?" Now, she's crying and my father wants to murder me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 721 You deserved it 137

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Van Raily · 22 September 2025, 20:00

Zero waste

Today, at work, I had to shovel down 5 burgers, 3 (4 piece) nuggets, 8 regular fries, and 8 orange juices from McDonald's. When my officemates asked about my "food trip", I told them I was just really hungry. I couldn't tell them I only did this to complete the toy set. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 You deserved it 683

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maddie · 15 May 2020, 05:00

Gross

Today, while I was working the drive-thru window, a customer sneezed into his hand and then handed me his money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 801 You deserved it 146

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