By Anonymous - 18/1/2013 20:59 - Canada - Owen Sound
  Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML
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  HelloSirs  |  14

Would it have been better if he said "I require coitus. Due to the lack of intercourse, the pressure in my epidydmis has increased significantly, and the contraction of my prostate and vas deferens will cause an expulsion of fluid from my ejaculatory duct to your epidermis."? I know you meant because he was abrupt, but I feel like mine is more fancy ;).