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Smelly Thrones

By Anonymous - 09/09/2019 20:00

Today, I hate this time of year, not only because everything is pumpkin spice, but because of Bath and Body work sales. I work in an office full of women, and when Bath and Body has a sale, it's Game Of Smell Thrones in the office. My allergies then act up, and I handle the office phones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 598

You deserved it 275

Kids hear EVERYTHING

By Anonymous - 03/05/2021 22:01 - Canada - Westbridge

Today, I was listening to an inappropriate song while driving around when I heard my 3 year-old in the back seat say the n-word. If you hear kids screaming, "LEGOS, LEGOS!" out of the windows as I drive by, that's my pathetic attempt at reversing the language they heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 1 232

It's not a phase, mom!

By gelly donut - 22/10/2023 20:00

Today, my parents disowned me because I told them I don’t want kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 142

I hate to break it to you…

By Sam - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I went to the doctor to get my swollen lymph nodes checked. As it turns out, they aren't swollen. I'm just fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 420

You deserved it 1 200

Lint kills

By Anonymous - 13/07/2022 00:00

Today, after I was away for a couple of days, my wife told me she’s been doing laundry while I was gone. I'd reminded her to clean out the lint catcher because it might catch fire. I came home to a new dryer and a smoke damaged house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 115

Better out than in

By My cat is a klutz - 08/05/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my cat tried to look outside the window in my room by climbing on top of the air conditioner. It's already rather flimsy, as she had broken the accordions with her clumsiness last year. But this time, she somehow managed to make the AC fall out of the window, and she followed along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 156

Looks

By Anonymous - 01/10/2019 06:00

Today, my mom and dad were talking about how if I lost weight, I would be attractive and have guys all over me. My dad said, “That’s exactly what I’m worried about.” It took me a while to realize they both think I’m ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 493

You deserved it 374

Resting bitch face

By Meow, Bitch! - 24/07/2022 18:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I realized my cat has a very serious case of RBF. Let me tell you, there's nothing more unnerving than turning your head and seeing a small tuxedo cat staring daggers at you for absolutely no reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 648

You deserved it 251

Decisions, decisions

By Anonymous - 16/11/2023 06:00

Today, this coming January in 2024 will be our 3 year anniversary, with loads of engagement talk in the air. Even though I found, "Congrats, you've earned Tinder VIP Status !" on my boyfriend's phone from about 8 months ago. I literally feel sick to my stomach. I was also in the hospital sick when he apparently did this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 179

Workers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains!

By GeeHee - 30/07/2022 18:00

Today, I was in a work Zoom meeting that was supposed to end at 5 pm, which is my shift end time. It dragged after 5 pm so I decided to disconnect and leave to go home, since I don’t get paid overtime. My manager called demanding to know why I left early, said I was unprofessional, and fired me on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 957

You deserved it 1 377

Lee Trevi-not

By Anonymous - 10/10/2019 12:07

Today, I was practicing my golf swing on my front lawn. I took a swing and on the backstroke the golf club slipped out of my hands. Next thing I know, it hits a neighbor's window, shatters it, and goes right into their living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 638

You deserved it 1 547

Information

By Anonymous - 01/06/2021 02:01 - United States - Nevada City

Today, my husband, who told me last week he was unhappy, wasn't in love with me anymore and is "talking" to someone else, asked me if I could give him the information for the people we've previously rented from, so he can move out. I gave him what I still had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 083

You deserved it 138

Bankers!

By Grinsporked - 11/10/2019 22:00

Today, after talking to the bank, I'd have to take a pay cut to qualify for a home loan. I'm still confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 680

You deserved it 146

White light/White heat

By Anonymous - 27/08/2022 16:00 - Australia

Today, I didn't get to sleep until 5 a.m., as I stayed up to finish off a big project that I have been working on for the past week. I was then woken up at 6 a.m. by my daughter saying she was ready for school. School starts at 9 a.m., and is a 2-minute drive away. I'm now at work, living off an hour of sleep and coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 281

Question time

By Anonymous - 19/06/2021 18:00 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I'm constantly checking my emails to see if any of the jobs have got back to me, but nothing yet. There's this one place I really want to work at, and I've already sent a follow-up email for the job, and it's driving me crazy that I haven't heard anything. What should I do? FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 243

The nerve

By Anonymous - 18/09/2022 08:00

Today, my biological mother, who abandoned me at the hospital the day I was born, turned up at my son's birthday party, demanding my bone marrow to treat some disease she has. When I outright refused, she tried to ask my son for his marrow to, “save granny’s life”. He’s 5 and now won’t stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 793

You deserved it 137

Shaving!

By John Doe - 07/01/2020 05:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that if I shaved, my penis might seem bigger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 098

You deserved it 476

I had no idea!

By Anonymous - 06/07/2021 06:01 - United States

Today, I found out my ex had been writing about our relationship to Postsecret. Apparently, she'd been sorry and wanted me back if I still loved her. I have absolutely no idea what she's talking about. I left after 8 months of unreturned texts, calls, emails, and meet-ups. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 99

Control freak

By Anonymous - 18/07/2025 09:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my boyfriend of two months went through several memory boxes and destroyed anything that may have come from a man. My pictures were all film, so I can’t replace them. My bear was from my grandfather and other letters were from friends. No amount of legal action can replace what I’ve lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 108

Taxi!

By Anonymous - 22/01/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I brought my Tinder date back to my house to cook for her. I made her gnocchi, because she had never had it before. She forgot to tell me she was lactose intolerant, and proceeded to spend the next 30 minutes violently and loudly shitting. I poisoned my date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 648

You deserved it 129

Chemistry

By Anonymous - 25/07/2025 03:00 - United States - Reno

Today, I matched with a cute girl on a dating app and messaged her something flirty: “Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re Cu-Te.” She replied, “That’s my cousin’s joke. He used it in his wedding vows last year. Small world, huh?" Of all the matches to make, I had to match a distant relative… FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 439

Fahrenheit 451

By Anonymous - 09/10/2022 15:00

Today, my sister trashed all our family's antique books, saying, "I don't want a thousand old books written by dead white men." They were family heirlooms from the 19th century, and the whole collection was worth thousands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 602

You deserved it 131

Golden child

By Dina - 15/07/2021 14:01

Today, I found out my mother would rather sleep than attend my soccer games, volleyball tournaments, or see me win any awards. However, she was present to see the dog get potty trained, filming the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030

You deserved it 117

He has your…?

By Anonymous - 07/02/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, in the middle of my divorce, I got paternity tests for both my sons. God must hate me. My eldest son, a criminal currently in prison who I utterly despise, is my biological son, whereas my youngest, who makes me proud every day to be his father, is not my biological son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 271

Heist

By Bobo - 11/10/2022 10:00

Today, my father stole the money I'd saved up by working and spent it all gambling. I'd saved it up for a year for a new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 204

You deserved it 103

Annoying neighbors ruin everything

By so much for relaxing - 21/07/2021 06:01

Today, I decided to sit on the back porch for a while to enjoy the nice weather and relax. Unfortunately, one of my neighbors was outside too, having a very loud argument with his wife for about 45 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 95

Gourmet dinner

By the_emilymohr - 28/03/2020 23:00

Today, after feeding my cats, I walked out of the room. Five minutes later, I heard one of them making a hacking sound. Knowing the outcome, I went to get some paper towels to wipe up the mess. When I went in, my other cat was eating it. Certain things cannot be unseen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 364

You deserved it 251

Thanks for sharing your inspiring story, Dad

By Anonymous - 17/02/2024 00:00

Today, my dad told me quite bluntly that, while he loved me, he never planned to have me. My mom baby-trapped him by sabotaging their birth control methods, and my existence ruined his life irrevocably and caused the functional alcoholism he has suffered with for 40 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 737

You deserved it 123

It's about time

By peetime - 24/07/2021 02:01 - United States

Today, I was in the car with my mom taking the dog to the vet, when he peed on me. We were taking him there because he hadn't peed in three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 109

Social distancing gone wrong

By bananapie69 - 10/04/2020 20:00

Today, waiting in the deli line at the store, a woman stood directly next to me. I panicked and tried to move back to get a 6-foot distance, but in my panic I didn’t realize there was a stand behind me. I almost fell over, so I gasped super loud. Everyone looked at me like I was crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 450

You deserved it 771

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The Top

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said, "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded, "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 023

You deserved it 13 516

Today, I was going to set up my air conditioner in the window. As I opened up the window, I must have disturbed a wasp nest, because a dozen wasps flew in and several of them stung me. The rest are now somewhere in my house with my terrified girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 942

You deserved it 4 105

Today, I was sitting in the cafeteria when one of my friends yelled out, "Jake is uncircumcised!" as a joke. The girl I have a crush on was sitting at the table behind me and turned around and asked if it was true. I said yes; she responded with, "Wow, hope I never have to see that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 144

You deserved it 4 439

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents. After hundreds of passive-aggressive comments, my boyfriend and I went into the kitchen. I started complaining to him about how his parents were horrible and mean. Little did I know, his parents had followed us in and were right behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 406

You deserved it 48 673

Today, on my way home from school, I accidentally stepped on a dead rat. That gross squishy feeling and the sound of its bones cracking… I'm never going to forget that for the rest of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 83

Today, I arrived early in the morning at my job counting inventory, only to find that the scanner machines were still getting set up due to difficulties with WiFi. We ended up starting two hours late due to various technical issues, and I almost missed my sister's recital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 49