The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Rejection hotline

By Anonymous - 24/04/2022 12:00

Today, after having my car's oil changed, I asked the girl at the front desk for her number and she gave it to me, so I was excited all day. That night I texted her and she asked who it was and I told her my name, then she told me she gave her number out to a lot of customers, so she didn’t remember me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 924

BIKES

By Anonymous - 14/04/2022 06:00 - Germany - Neusalza-spremberg

Today, my bike is freshly back from a costly repair, so naturally this means that the slight rasping of the chain that used to bug me has now turned into a situation where one third of the gears can only be used with the aid of a screw driver, which I now carry with me on every ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 845

You deserved it 155

No thanks!

By Anonymous - 23/05/2022 09:00 - United States - Spokane

Today, my husband thought I might want to get intimate. I've never seen someone vacate a room so quickly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 045

You deserved it 235

Sting operation

By Anonymous - 11/08/2023 08:00

Today, my husband cheated on me 8 hours into our marriage with one of the barmaids serving drinks at the party. He claimed he was drunk and thought she was me. Kind of hard to claim that when I clearly heard him moaning her name right before I caught them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 104

Hassle free

By Lana - 26/04/2022 22:00

Today, every time I think of having any children, I remember that an idiotic neighbor let her kids paint all over my car with permanent marker, so I eventually forget about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 139

Do not pass Go

By Anonymous - 16/08/2023 08:00

Today, I've hated being a parent ever since I was baby-trapped at 17, but I stuck through it and never let my son suspect how I really felt, and we have a great relationship now he’s an adult. Well he just moved out yesterday, and today my wife told me she’s pregnant. Here we fucking go again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 1 336

Bridezilla

By Anonymous - 29/05/2022 04:00

Today, I’m supposed to be a bridesmaid at my sister's wedding, but she doesn’t want me in the photos because I’m over a foot taller than her and the other bridesmaids, and it will look silly in the photos. I told her I won’t even bother attending, and mom actually took her side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 185

You deserved it 116

By sweetjulie - 11/07/2019 18:00

Today, and for the past week, my 5-year-old daughter has been introducing herself as “Mazda. Zoom-zoom!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 416

You deserved it 300

Abalaschabalamanama

By help meeeee - 14/03/2021 17:01

Today, and ever since we watched a documentary about televangelists scamming people, my boyfriend randomly imitates them speaking "in tongues" because he knows it freaks me out. He's really good at it as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 185

Communication Breakdown

By not really - 08/06/2022 01:00 - United States

Today, after hanging out with my boyfriend’s group once, they’ve decided I’m a “prissy stuck-up bitch who thinks she’s perfect.” I’m not at all. They just engage in nothing but insults and self-deprecating “jokes” without any real conversation. Sorry for not putting myself down for amusement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 833

You deserved it 277

Who are you?

By Anonymous - 22/02/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, I got served with a child support hearing. I've never met the woman suing and the person she’s going after has the same name as me. The court people told me not to worry, but those are famous last words and I know it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 66

What word was it?

By BigBall - 09/09/2023 20:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, a tourist from an English-as-second-language country taught me a new word. In English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 725

Parasite

By Anonymous - 13/09/2023 04:00

Today, and since we've had our baby, my mother-in-law started coming round more often, then bringing her stuff to stay overnight, then started claiming she lived here, and got hysterical when we told her she doesn’t. I had to pick her up and place her outside while she punched me in the head repeatedly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 011

You deserved it 108

I dunno, fam

By Anonymous - 15/09/2023 17:30 - India - Bengaluru

Today, my 37 year-old cousin said she wants to cheat on her long-time, loving husband because she never got to have any fun in her life. He would never do it to her. She told me this information because she thinks I would "understand" her situation. I really don't know what to do with this information. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 134

It's easy if you try

By Notalent - 24/05/2022 06:00

Today, I did a tribute to Ukraine at my school’s end of the year talent show by singing “Imagine.” by John Lennon. I thought I did well, until a group of guys in the audience began roaring with laughter and pointing. Then more people followed. I didn’t finish the song and left the stage bawling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 533

You deserved it 350

Healthcare for all, now

By Anonymous - 27/05/2022 02:00

Today, I had a procedure that should have been covered by my health insurance, but while I was there, I asked the doc to sign a prescription for an unrelated thing. This apparently turned the insured procedure into a consultation, so they charged me full price for the procedure, over $15,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 247

You deserved it 214

Nice parents you've got there

By mere - 06/04/2021 21:30

Today, I was called a whore by my own parents, simply because I’ve never had a relationship that lasted longer than a month. Everyone I’ve ever dated has dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 246

You deserved it 190

Learning curve

By Anonymous - 16/08/2017 16:00

Today, my 3-year-old son put into practice the lesson I taught him yesterday, about how to use a larger piece of Play-Doh to pick up smaller bits. Unfortunately, he used this method to pick up a small bit of poo from his pants with a larger bit of poo direct from the toilet. I was an hour late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 097

You deserved it 499

We're playing those mind games together

By Anonymous - 21/09/2023 08:00

Today, I'm now at the point in my marriage where I’ve stopped caring, so when my wife says, “I’m fine” I’m going to treat her like she’s fine. I’ll maybe post an update with details of how long she goes from, “I’m fine” to screaming at me for not playing along with her mind games anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 170

Crybabies

By PooperParty - 05/04/2021 11:00

Today, I had an Easter Egg Hunt in my backyard for my kids. When they collected all the eggs, they opened them and to their dismay there was no candy inside. When I bought them, I thought they already came with candy. It’s been two hours and my kids won’t stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 1 829

Not-so-biker chick

By Kris - 24/09/2023 10:00 - Canada

Today, I thought it was about time to learn to ride a bike as an adult. I wobbled down the street, lost my balance, and crashed into a parked ice cream truck. The owner yelled at me, and I was left with a bruised ego and no ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 591

You deserved it 218

Maths

By Anonymous - 25/06/2022 06:00 - Singapore

Today, I realized my brain has degraded so fucking much when I could only do one math question over the span of 24 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 183

Hope springs eternal

By Anonymous - 13/06/2022 10:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend rejected my proposal, claiming she refuses to get married until she finally finds her dad, so he can walk her down the aisle. Babe, he walked out when you were 7 and hasn't been seen or contacted you since. Just say you don't wanna marry me so we can both move on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 456

You deserved it 179

Wedge issues

By What the fuck - 03/10/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, I learned that there are people who actually, unironically believe that Danny Masterson is innocent. Faith in humanity: Gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 262

By Julie - 26/08/2019 04:00

Today, I had red eyes from crying, and everyone assumed that my mom, who has been seriously ill, had died so they tried comforting me. It was quite embarrassing to have to tell them that it was because I'd just watched the last episode of season 4 of Veronica Mars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 253

You deserved it 718

Got it

By Anonymous - 24/04/2021 23:00

Today, my ex asked me if I would reconsider a future with him. I said, “Only if we can learn to communicate effectively." He said, “Good talk, this time you actually got through to me.” Then he ceased all communication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 146

Not for everyone

By Ugh - 07/04/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my girlfriend wanted to role-play non-consensual sex. I was already uncomfortable with the idea, and when she started begging, "No, no" as I stripped her, I dropped the role-play and walked out. Now she's pissed at me. I'm sorry, but this is fucking creepy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 186

Smelly Thrones

By Anonymous - 09/09/2019 20:00

Today, I hate this time of year, not only because everything is pumpkin spice, but because of Bath and Body work sales. I work in an office full of women, and when Bath and Body has a sale, it's Game Of Smell Thrones in the office. My allergies then act up, and I handle the office phones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 591

You deserved it 273

Kids hear EVERYTHING

By Anonymous - 03/05/2021 13:01 - Canada - Westbridge

Today, I was listening to an inappropriate song while driving around when I heard my 3 year-old in the back seat say the n-word. If you hear kids screaming, "LEGOS, LEGOS!" out of the windows as I drive by, that's my pathetic attempt at reversing the language they heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 1 227

Office politics

By Jessy - 24/10/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, my coworker threw a bitch fit about not getting a promotion she'd applied for. My other coworker had got it, so after her fit, management worked something out: they gave the promotion to her, and the coworker that originally had it was given a promotion that I'd been promised for months. Now I have none. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 110

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, a manager mistook me for an employee because I was wearing a shirt I bought from that shop. He was yelling at me for not working and tried to grab me to stop me leaving. I had to punch him in the nose to get free, and as I ran he actually shouted that I was fired. I’ve never worked there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 103

Today, my husband was going to let me sleep in for Mother's Day. That would have been great, if my brother didn't call me at 5:30 in the morning to say Happy Mother's Day. Now I'm up like any other day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 438

You deserved it 1 074

Today, I found out this week that I have a growth in my head that could be cancer. I messaged my closest best friend the news straight away, but she has completely ignored my message. It's now been three days and I've not heard a word from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 77

Today, I went to get a pedicure for the first time. My feet are VERY ticklish. I reflexively kicked the poor lady in the face, as I wet my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 618

You deserved it 17 448

Today, my wedding venue called and canceled our reservation because we were double booked with a spaghetti bingo night, which they felt was more important. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 638

You deserved it 2 972

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I brought to her attention a rather large zit on the corner of her mouth. She called me an insensitive prick. I only pointed it out because I didn't want other people to see it and make fun of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 315

You deserved it 20 864