Today, I was drunk in a hotel lobby with some of my cousins. I went out on the patio to get some fresh air when I saw a black cat in the bushes. I went straight over to it and started to pet it. I realized too late that the black cat was actually a skunk. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML
Today, my dog ran away. It was dark, so I couldn't see very well, but I ran after him anyway. Thinking I had caught up to him, I grabbed him. It wasn't my dog. It was a skunk. FML
Today, I left my bedroom window open to let in some fresh air while I slept. A skunk got in and sprayed my room. FML
Today, I had my window opened slightly, without a screen behind it. I walked into the living room and smelled a skunk. I looked out the window and saw a skunk, so I quickly closed the window. However, it was too late. Before I could do so, it turned and sprayed me, a few meters of my house, and our front porch too. FML
Today, I had a small get together in my backyard. My idiot sister got blackout drunk and found a stray cat. She was holding it and taking selfies, until her dumbass realized she’d actually picked up a possum. She panicked and dropped it. Now it’s loose somewhere in my house and I can’t find it. FML
Today, I tried to pet what I thought was a cute cat under my porch. As it turned out, it was actually a raccoon. It hissed at me, and I screamed so loud that my neighbors came running. FML
Today, my cat escaped through my front door. It was dark out, so I had no idea where I was going. I finally caught up to him in my neighbour’s lawn and I gave him heck for scaring me. It took me a minute to realize I was actually talking to a bush in their flowerbed. FML
Today, after encouraging my cat to try his new cat bed all day with no success, I attempted to gently place him in it. Instead, he managed to fear-spray me in the face. Like a skunk. I didn't even know cats could do that. FML
Today, I was visiting my childhood home, and I checked out my old treehouse. A family of skunks had made it their home, and I was promptly sprayed upon entering. FML
Today, I finally got myself settled into bed around 2 in the morning after a very long day. My cat started to snuggle with me when I smelled something disgusting. Turns out my cat sharted in my bed. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 30
It is called a polecat, so you were pretty close!
Taurus_ChicKa 36
"Today, I was drunk." Instant YDI.
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Comments (7)
ThatOneLonelyAsian 31
why did you pat a random (probably stray) cat? with the epidemic thats happening i thought you'd be more vigilant
RichardPencil 30
It is called a polecat, so you were pretty close!
Taurus_ChicKa 36
"Today, I was drunk." Instant YDI.
jkjorn 16
OP, you need to be checked for 'Pepe Le Pew Syndrome'- that's the inability to distinguish between a black cat and a skunk.
randybryant799 20
And the skunk, a wild animal, just sat there and let you pet it?