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    : 320



    Ragebait backfire

    Melybae - 12/07/2025 14:00 - United States - Miami

    Today, I’ve been systematically sharing stories and posts about how love sucks and man-bashing memes so that my crush would regret his decision about rejecting me and choosing another girl over me. He DM’ed me : “Getting tired of your shit Melissa, I’m blocking you.” FML
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    Fashion Week

    NotAGoodStart - 07/03/2020 14:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

    Today, I went on a blind date, meeting up in a park. I got there first and sat down to wait for him. After a while, a guy sat down next to me. I wasn't sure if it was him, so I texted him, asking if he'd arrived. His response was, "I'm already here, sat to the left of the old woman dressed like a gypsy." FML
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    Brain melt

    coco1234 - 09/03/2020 12:35

    Today, I stood there for 10 minutes trying to fix the toaster, until I called my brother to help me. I'd forgotten that it wasn't plugged in. He now thinks I'm a complete idiot. FML
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    The shot of a lifetime

    Epic Fail - 10/10/2022 08:30 - United States - Steele

    Today, I tried to throw a basketball in my backyard basketball hoop. It bounced off the board, hit me on the head, then hit a spray can, activating it and spraying black paint all over my Golden Retriever, to finally land in my trash can. FML
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    Lightlysalted - 19/04/2018 19:00

    Today, I was invited to a special meal for receiving a scholarship from my college. My mom refuses to take me because “your sister’s going there too and didn’t get a scholarship; it wouldn’t be fair to her.” I guess fairness doesn’t apply to me. FML
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    The opposite of hustle culture

    frustrated and chequed out - 12/02/2024 00:00 - Canada - Duncan

    Today, I tried to deposit a few cheques in the bank before they expired, and all I needed was the ATM. Little did I know that the bank changed their hours and now closes on the weekend. I’m busy during the week. FML
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    Our house, in the middle of our lockdown!

    cfails - 02/04/2020 14:00

    Today, I found out the house I want to buy is being re-listed, because I can't have an open house to get people to see and buy my current house, because no one can go out in the this fucking quarantine. FML
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    B-Baller

    awkwardballer -

    Today, while playing basketball with my new coworkers, I managed to get the ball stuck between the hoop and backboard. In trying to free it, I also got a traffic cone stuck and ended up having to drag a large ladder across the court while everyone watched. FML
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    Sorry, eh?

    snakes44 - 27/05/2018 19:00 - Canada - Yellowknife

    Today, I let my dog out to go pee before heading to bed. She just stood there and looked at me, so I let her back in and went to sleep. I later woke up to a wet sensation on my back. My dog let out a full bladder all over my bed. FML
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    Played yourself

    nano123 - 17/04/2020 08:00

    Today, I gave myself a hickey on my bicep just to know how it feels. I'm a 28-year-old virgin and yes, that's possible. FML
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    It means he cares

    Anonymous - 26/08/2021 23:01 - United States - Roselle

    Today, I found out that my boyfriend jerked off more times than he called me when I was out of town for 4 days. Me: 0; porn: 2. FML
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    You can't handle the truth!

    WhoNeedsFriends - 28/08/2021 10:01 - United States - Staten Island

    Today, my friends held a roast for my birthday, as per my request. They went pretty hard and I got a little uncomfortable. Afterwards, I told them that their jokes were a little too far, and they said all of their roasts were 100% genuine, and they just needed an excuse to tell me their problems with me. FML
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    Stasis

    LonelyGrl98 - 15/04/2024 11:00 - United States - Yuba City

    Today, I realized how fucked I am (not). I'm a 26 year-old virgin waiting for love. No guy my age wants someone inexperienced. The older I get, the more ridiculous I feel. I masturbate way more often than I should and it's like my body is screaming for intimacy. I don't know WTF to do. Maybe I'll be the next 40 year-old virgin. FML
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    Father of the year

    Anonymous - 15/09/2021 22:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, my husband is so emotionally disconnected from fatherhood, he has yet to call our son by his name and instead just refers to him as 'It' or 'That' and occasionally just 'Him'. Sometimes he’ll even ignore him crying and just leave the room because the noise annoys him. FML
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    Rachel! Emily!

    MoreThenFriends - 16/08/2018 22:00

    Today, my friend's father got me mixed up with his new wife when telling stories for his wedding speech. Everyone noticed. The new wife was not pleased. FML
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    Exploited

    Anonymous - 23/04/2024 17:00 - United States

    Today, we had two of our longest serving coworkers retire at the company I work at, and they hired two young prospects to replace them. The problem? They asked me to train them both for the next 4 months, cancelling my PTO in the process, and then I learned they were being paid nearly 20% more than I am. FML
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    Public freakout

    Anonymous - 28/09/2021 23:00

    Today, we live in a world where 10 people on a bus will ignore a man slapping his wife so hard, she falls out of her seat, yet when that same man has a coughing fit, the same 10 people all get mad at him for not wearing a mask. FML
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    Coworkers aren't friends

    KisstheChef - 28/12/2022 00:00

    Today, in an act of friendship, I made chicken curry for a colleague and brought it to work. She looked excited and squealed, "Yum!" When leaving the office at 5pm, she told me she was "taking it to eat at home." But at 7pm, during my routine snooping around for snacks, I found the curry hidden behind a shelf. FML
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    Definitely confusing

    Anonymous - 05/10/2021 10:00 - United States

    Today, I lost my job, neither by quitting or getting fired. I don't know whether to be mad or confused. FML
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    Tinder surprise

    Anonymous - 14/01/2023 04:00

    Today, a woman turned up uninvited at my house, ready for our first date. After some embarrassed investigating, it turns out my mother signed me up to Tinder and arranged a date, all without telling me, because she refuses to believe I prefer solitude over dating. FML
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    Grandma's here!

    Anonymous - 29/10/2021 14:00

    Today, my mother-in-law was so rabid to meet her first grandson, she didn’t just nudge me aside to get to the delivery room, she two-hand shoved me in the chest so I flew backwards and down a flight of stairs. I’m now in a neck brace for a hairline crack to my vertebrae and can’t pick up my own son. FML
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    Heavy load

    Anon - 18/12/2019 14:00 - Australia - Brisbane

    Today, my boyfriend told me that when I orgasm, I sound like I'm choking. Only I'm not choking, I'm just getting the wind knocked out of me by his weight when he is on top. FML
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    Emergency cooking

    YoshiSqu4d - 31/07/2020 20:01

    Today, I managed to set off the smoke detectors while cooking burgers. The cops and fire department showed up. FML
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    Tallie - 01/10/2018 12:00

    Today, I fell down the stairs, breaking my foot and tendons. It was the first time I had ever broken anything, and the doctor said that it's the most complicated break he'd ever seen. It's too complicated to operate. Now I'm stuck in a wheelchair for god knows how long. FML
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    Unaware ableist

    Anonymous - 31/08/2020 04:01 - United Kingdom - Leicester

    Today, I sat outside for a half hour hysterically laughing at this kid next door for constantly mooing like a cow. My mum came out to inform me the kid is severely disabled. I even mooed back at one stage. FML
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    Let down

    Anonymous - 27/08/2020 05:01

    Today, after having spent two weeks planning my husband's surprise birthday party with his friends and family, we get in the car on the way to "dinner" and he says, "I really hope it's just the two of us tonight." FML
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    Stay safe

    notaslut - 08/01/2020 22:00 - United States - Greeley

    Today, I walked into my best friend's house and her mom threw a box of condoms at me and said, "Stay safe, slut." FML
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    horny and alone - 04/11/2018 03:00

    Today, I went home with my cute coworker. What started out as a little dirty talk and teasing ended with him admitting he was in a terrible emotional place, then sending me home in an Uber so he could sleep. FML
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    Game of Thrones 2: Pig in the City

    GOT not for me - 15/09/2020 14:01 - United States

    Today, I found out my ex lets our kids watch Game of Thrones during his weekend visits. Our kids are 8 and 6. FML
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    Proportional response

    Anonymous - 10/01/2022 11:01

    Today, in a fit of rage, my mom confessed to me that I was adopted, and if she had the chance to turn back time, she wouldn't have done it in the first place. All because I ate the last ice cream sandwich. FML
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    Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home
    FMyLife FMyLife
    FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I received a $50 iTunes card for my birthday. I immediately sat down at my computer and starting buying all my newest favorites. Then I realized I never redeemed my card so the $50 was all charged to my account. FML
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    Today, I was talking to my mom about how my fiancé has been ignoring me and that I didn't know why. Turns out, my mother told him that I was too much of a handful, was mentally disturbed and also cheating on him. Just so I wouldn't move out and would keep cleaning her house for free. FML
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    Today, I was on the internet with my Dad looking up information about allergies. I began to type 'allergies' into the Google Search Box and as I typed 'a', the phrase 'amazing sex positions' popped up as a search I had already looked up. My Dad asked me if any of the positions worked out. FML
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    Today, my girlfriend called saying that she wanted to break up because she wasn't into me anymore. Yesterday, I paid $400 to take her to a Red Sox game, so I asked her why she even came with me. She said that she had been talking to her ex-boyfriend, and he said he was going to that game too. FML
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    Today, I said something in class and someone mimicked me. In a self-pitying mood, I exclaimed, "Everybody hates me!" The girl behind me then said, "Pretty much." FML
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    Today, my 8 year-old sister tried vaping. My parents found out and planned on yelling at her, but nothing happened. She even got a reward for being curious. When I was 15 and got my first piercing (in the ear) I kinda got beat, and slept outside for the night. It makes me wonder what's going on sometimes… FML
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