The Customer Is Clueless

By Conner Johnson - 28/11/2017 05:00

Today, a customer walked up to me with a dog toy and said, "I knew one-stop shopping was a thing, but I didn't know you guys carried dildos." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 199

You deserved it 295

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Are you lost?

By Anonymous - 16/08/2015 15:22 - United States

Today, while I was working at a children's toy store, a woman walked in, looked around a bit, then asked if we sold dildos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 201

You deserved it 1 780

By the_captain - 23/06/2009 00:21 - United States

Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 712

You deserved it 3 521

By Momo8612 - 21/04/2017 12:00

Today, while shopping for groceries, a small child pointed at my face and exclaimed : "DOGGIE!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 697

You deserved it 307

By apparentlytoougly - 27/03/2013 07:29 - United States - Garden Grove

Today, a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said, "Oh so you DO know where it is!" and walked away, roaring with laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 577

You deserved it 3 865

By Dv0829 - 21/10/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, I went to the store with my girlfriend. She needed to use the bathroom so I started looking at the books. It wasn't until the manager shot me a weird look that I realized I'd wandered down too far and was looking at bridal magazines, holding tampons, dog treats, and hair spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 249

You deserved it 4 833

Weird customer of the day

By ChimerV - 15/11/2014 18:20 - France - Champenoux

Today, a customer limped over to me in one of the dishwasher aisles and asked if we sold dishwashers. I said yes and pointed at all the dishwashers. He looked around for a couple of seconds, belched, then said "Oh... right!" and walked off. No commission for me, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 489

You deserved it 4 161

By Z88 - 21/04/2010 20:29 - South Africa

Today, a customer came into the music shop I work in to look at guitars. After calling the customer "Dude," and "Man," numerous times, they stalked off suddenly. When I asked if everything was okay, they responded with, "I'm female, you asshole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 882

You deserved it 43 232

By Miffy - 04/09/2018 23:00 - United States - San Augustine

Today, my 14-year-old son asked his dog what she was chewing on. It wasn't until he picked it up said, "Is this what I think it is?" that I realized my son was gripping my vibrator. As I took it outside, mortified, he told his sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 694

You deserved it 892

The customer is always something

By YEEYEE517 - 03/09/2019 22:00

Today, working in retail, I noticed a customer looking for an item, so I walked up to them and asked, "Is there something I can help you find?" He replied, "Did I ask for your fucking help?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 887

You deserved it 201

By secretdeo - 24/08/2009 04:48 - United States

Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 493

You deserved it 5 357

Tripartita 44

Tuesday 28 November 2017 5:37

Wow, apparently that dog toy doubles as a rorschach test! You should bump up the price.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 28 November 2017 5:20

Takes the phrase “give the dog a bone” to a whole new level!

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 28 November 2017 5:20

Takes the phrase “give the dog a bone” to a whole new level!

Tripartita 44

Tuesday 28 November 2017 5:37

Wow, apparently that dog toy doubles as a rorschach test! You should bump up the price.

bigdaddyeric 35

Tuesday 28 November 2017 7:59

80% of those Dog Toys look like Sex Toys, I say the same thing to my Husband every time we go to Petco

cornelius74d 13

Tuesday 28 November 2017 12:50

Anything can be a *****, if you’re brave enough.

Glowworm56 26

Tuesday 28 November 2017 14:59

Remember, any dog toy can easily become an adult toy. It's all about location, location, location!

sumocj 14

Tuesday 28 November 2017 14:59

I see chips, cat toys, dog toys, ******, veggies. This place has it all!

TeachAllTheMath 19

Tuesday 28 November 2017 23:57

I’d love it if they said this about a tennis ball, or stuffed mail carrier or something.

tonyfan00 38

Wednesday 29 November 2017 5:57

That's taking the term "boned" to another level...

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Intimacy Sex Jewelry Video games Geek Gamers Relatable Awkward Work Health Embarrassing Sports Miscellaneous Stuck Confused Fight Transportation Cars Money Capitalism Technology Annoying Love Weird First Dates Weddings AITA Instagram Stalker Social Media

The Top

Today, after days of hearing our new neighbour abusing his wife, my wife went round to confront him while on the phone with the police. Turns out they are just really into their BDSM and had no idea how loud they were being. They have costumes, toys and everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 184

Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 797

You deserved it 11 219

The Top

Today, I learned that instead of training my cat, she has been training me. She now refuses to drink anything but running tap water, and yowls loudly early in the morning at my bedroom door to be fed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 308

You deserved it 8 056

Today, everyone was telling me a girl I like wanted me to ask her on a date. I approached her, and asked if it was true. She said yes, but only because she wanted to reject me in person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 691

You deserved it 2 543

Today, after dating the love of my life for a year, my parents refuse to give their blessing for us to be engaged, because he's two years younger than me and "people change as they age." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 680

You deserved it 4 396

Today, my visiting mother-in-law announced she plans on moving to our state and living next door. When I said that's not going to happen, she chuckled and said, "It's happening, Kate." Kate is my husband's ex-girlfriend from 8 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 298

You deserved it 356

Today, I was walking around in Target with my friends and the guy I've liked for a long time. As we approached the patio section, I sat down on a chair only to hear a big wet watery sound. I got up and realized that I had just sat in some little kid's diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 985

You deserved it 7 627

Today, I put icy hot on my aching shoulders, like I have been for several days. They seemed extra tender today, and it wasn't until the burning started that I realized I had put icy hot directly on a very angry sunburn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 528