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    : 320



    Empathy

    Anonymous - 16/04/2021 23:59 - New Zealand - Wellington

    Today, I had a miscarriage. My partner doesn't understand why I'm upset, saying, "It wasn't even a real baby yet." FML
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    Straight to jail

    youtube - 03/10/2023 22:00

    Today, I went up to a random stranger and said, "Hey, you don't know me, but I know you're about to make a huge mistake!" for a prank video. She had a massive meltdown and screamed at me. The police came. FML
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    Wait

    Anonymous - 20/07/2022 22:00

    Today my wife told me she really wanted to have sex, and to wait in bed while she got ready. Turns out get ready means do the dishes, feed the dogs, clean the cat's litter tray, phone her sister, make coffee, shower, and wait for the dryer to dry her pyjamas. By the time she got in bed, I'd fallen asleep. FML
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    Sariitaa_fml - 18/11/2017 19:00

    Today, I was in the romantic section of a book store making fun of the titles. Thinking my friend was behind me, I read in a sexy voice, “Sleeping with a Stranger” and turned to laugh only to find the 70-year-old store manager smiling and winking at me. FML
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    Sounds reasonable

    Anonymous - 12/10/2019 06:00

    Today, my 70 year-old mother complained about the patio window being dirty. I asked her why she couldn't clean it, or anything else in the house for that matter. I was informed she can't clean windows because she's not left handed. FML
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    What a lovely guy

    pull your goddamn weight! - 15/08/2022 17:00 - United States

    Today, I got into a fight with my husband. I told him we’re a stereotypical couple, where the wife is exhausted from doing all the housework and raising the kids. He looked me in the eye and told me I’m lucky he’s still around after how I “let myself go after the third kid.” I have diastasis recti. FML
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    SiegFail - 23/11/2017 05:00

    Today, my students are asking friends and family to come to a charity event. That would be all well if they weren't constantly mixing up "Rally Against Genocide" and "Support Genocide Victims" and telling everyone to come to the "Rally to Support Genocide". FML
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    That's nice

    Anonymous - 04/06/2021 18:01 - United States - Angier

    Today, I told my boyfriend of 3 years that I wanted to marry him someday. His response was, "Oh, OK, thanks." FML
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    Oh no, not you

    Anonymous - 11/06/2021 00:01

    Today, I had no idea my dad and my fiancé's dad are old enemies, until we brought our families together for the first time since we met and COVID rules were relaxed. Long story short, there was a brawl, lots of drinking, a destroyed back garden and we’re not engaged anymore. FML
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    Dude, gross!

    Darkness Inside - 13/06/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, my dad learned that I sometimes waffle stomp in the shower if I wake up late. He built a shower stall outside and has threatened to kick me out if he ever finds me showering inside again. I get that it's kinda gross but this is a massive overreaction. What will I do in winter? FML
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    The King

    Anonymous - 20/08/2022 02:00

    Today, I recently had open heart surgery and I'm prohibited from pushing, pulling, or lifting anything. My wife goes ahead of me to open doors, carry things from the store, and open my car door. Yes, I do get many mean, judgmental glares. FML
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    emisara93 - 23/12/2017 19:00

    Today, I chipped my tooth by biting down on my toothbrush. I don't know what hurts more: the irony or the fact I have no dental insurance until January. FML
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    Late stage capitalism

    Cron - 28/08/2022 00:00

    Today, my time-off request was denied because I'd said on my application that I have “open availability.” This is normally true, except my mother passed away and I need to travel to go to her funeral. I attempted to appeal, but ended up fired for “misleading” the company by “lying on a job application.” FML
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    Suspicious Minds

    PaulaP - 09/07/2021 07:59

    Today, my husband wants to go on a trip to Tulum with his friend. I suggested I go as well, but he refused because it’s a "friends trip." He assures me that he "won’t sleep in the same bed with her or anything." I had to explain why it was still inappropriate. He still doesn’t get it. FML
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    Completely wet

    - 27/02/2020 20:00

    Today, I was drinking too much and I had to pee constantly, so I went to bed without my girlfriend. Hours later she woke me up wanting sex, but she realized that I'd pissed the bed. FML
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    Afterthought

    Anonymous - 31/03/2020 05:00

    Today, my boyfriend admitted that he never thought we had a future together. He just wanted to move in together so he could get "cheaper rent for a while." FML
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    Isn't that illegal?

    Ryan Engle - 29/07/2021 02:01

    Today, my neighbor, who has 4 video cameras pointed at the front of my house, got a drone that’s now hovering over my backyard. FML
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    Dumb question

    Anonymous - 12/05/2020 14:00

    Today, “Who decided that?” was apparently not the correct thing to reply to a cop. FML
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    Stars of CCTV

    Stfu lil brat smh - 26/03/2024 05:00 - United States

    Today, while I was shopping, I spotted a lady who had the last of an item I wanted in her cart. She went off to the dressing room, so seeing my opportunity, I went and grabbed it from her cart, and put it in mine. I hadn't noticed her bratty-ass daughter next to the cart, who then yelled, “I saw that! Mommy! Some lady's stealing from your cart!” FML
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    Leech

    upyours - 22/05/2020 17:00 - Australia

    Today, after telling my boss that trailing a hand up someone's leg and leering at them constantly is counted as sexual harassment, I got called an "unappreciative little whiny bitch." FML
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    going to the dentist - 31/07/2018 16:05 - Slovenia - Maribor

    Today, I unconsciously clenched my jaw together when I woke up from a nightmare. A part of my tooth broke off. FML
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    Stranded

    Anonymous - 09/04/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, my husband wants a divorce and will be moving out as soon as possible because he can’t stand my mother anymore. He's tired of pushing me to stand up to her, even once, so he's done and is leaving. I’m upset he’s leaving, but I’m equally as upset he’s leaving me alone with my mother. FML
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    mastermind - 22/08/2018 23:30

    Today, in an attempt to keep a conversation flowing, I panicked and asked a man what country he was from in response to him telling me he was Brazilian. FML
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    Running commentary

    well crap... - 21/06/2020 14:18

    Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
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    Goddamn safety regulations!

    Anonymous - 28/09/2021 02:00 - United States - Virginia Beach

    Today, my partner and I went to the inspection of a house we wanted to buy. The whole roof was illegal. This is the second time our realtor has shown us a house with major issues. FML
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    Easy mark

    shawn - 30/04/2024 00:00 - United States - Las Vegas

    Today, I learned that the cancer patient in a foreign country I sent money too from an ad on TikTok was a deepfake AI used by scammers. I thought I'd actually helped someone. FML
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    Great party, eh?

    Anonymous - 30/09/2021 17:00

    Today, my girlfriend and I threw a housewarming party we'd been planning for almost 2 months. Out of the 30 plus people I invited from work, literally nobody showed up. Not going to lie, I'm a little depressed about it. It's going to be hard to go to work and pretend I'm not upset. FML
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    My way or the highway

    FeckedUpFifteen - 14/10/2021 20:00

    Today, it’s my birthday. My family tradition is that whoever has the birthday chooses the dinner. I chose pizza, but my older sister had a tantrum, complete with throwing my phone at the wall, breaking it, saying she wanted Chinese instead. My parents ordered Chinese. FML
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    Quiet dumping is a thing now?

    RebeccaT - 04/01/2023 00:00

    Today, I found out my boyfriend was “quiet dumping” me. He thought treating me like shit to the point of me leaving the relationship would be easier than him having to tell me he’s cheating on me. Apparently he didn’t want to “hurt my feelings” Well played, you bastard. FML
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    Extreme cooking

    oldmold - 23/07/2020 17:01

    Today, my husband and I got into a huge argument. He called me wasteful for throwing out old food. He insisted that you can simply pick the mold off and the food was perfectly fine. He’s going to kill our kids. FML
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    FMyLife FMyLife
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    Today, as we were getting ready for sex, I told my man to fuck my face, and it was great until he shoved my face in his ass, yelling, "Eat my ass! Eat it!" I had to explain that ass eating is not something I'm comfortable with. FML
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    Today, a fight broke out in a bar between several people, over some talk about one of their moms being somewhat inclined towards intercourse with her pets. I managed to slip out quietly with just a scratch from flying chair debris, despite having started the rumor. FML
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    Today, I was in school when a guy grabbed my breast, so I swore at him and shoved him away. I got detention and he walked away unpunished. FML
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    Today, I spent the first night in my new home as a first-time homeowner. I was relaxing and enjoying the feeling of having my own space when I reached over to get my glasses and came back with a cockroach. FML
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    Today, the eczema on my hands is so bad that my phone's touch screen didn't want acknowledge my fingers as human skin. FML
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    Today, my friend and I were brushing our teeth, standing side by side. We both have a sympathy gag reflex. He brushed his tongue and gagged, which caused me to gag. So we had a never ending gag-fest until we both began throwing up and couldn't stop until one of us could manage to hold it in. FML
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    © VDM SAS,

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