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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    By Cheesey_Dorito - 28/09/2018 15:30

    Today, it has been 57 hours since I have last had food. The fridge is empty. The freezer is empty. The pantry is empty. Even my bank account is empty because my pay has been delayed. Again. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 3 570
    You deserved it 238
    Share  

    Main character syndrome

    By daddysjudy92 - 28/09/2018 14:00

    Today, after being hospitalized last week due to a severe mental breakdown, my mom is still mad at me for missing her big solo at church. She had even tried to demand I be released from the hospital for it. She's still going on about how she thinks I missed it on purpose. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 3 144
    You deserved it 261
    Share  

    By StairwayToEvan92 - 24/09/2018 13:30

    Today, I ran over a recently-killed skunk in the road. My truck now smells absolutely rancid, and the smell will probably last for months. At least it goes well with my dog, who was also skunked 6 weeks ago. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 2 107
    You deserved it 301
    Share  

    By hcditfi5foygy - 23/09/2018 13:30

    Today, I learned that my new neighbour's car alarm goes off every time a car drives by blasting loud bass. So far, it's gone off 6 times in the last hour. I can't wait until he's done moving in here, where he and his car will stay for the next year. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 2 459
    You deserved it 150
    Share  

    Party hard

    By Jason the flasher - 15/09/2018 22:00

    Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 410
    You deserved it 3 301
    Share  

    By Anonymous - 15/09/2018 20:30 - United States - Buffalo

    Today, during a meeting with my boss, she explained she's giving me one more chance before she has to fire me. Her reason? I accidentally ordered chicken on a salad last week for a meeting and she feels my performance has gone down the tubes. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 2 859
    You deserved it 234
    Share  

    W.T.F.

    By Anonymous - 15/09/2018 06:00

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, while getting dressed, I discovered that when my brother and his friends got drunk last night one of them wanked into a pair of my panties and put them back in my wardrobe. The crusty mess pressed right into my groin. I had to clean dry spunk out of my pubic hair. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 6 173
    You deserved it 620
    Share  

    By Anonymous - 14/09/2018 03:30

    Today, I finally found out why I got a D in a class last semester. It was a heavily attendance-based class, and apparently he only marked you present if you participated in class discussion. It was a 100-seat lecture. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 2 902
    You deserved it 338
    Share  

    By Mel - 11/09/2018 14:30

    Today, I woke up to find out my cat pissed in my laundry from last night. This includes underwear, so I had to go commando. I grabbed an old T-shirt and pants at the bottom of a drawer and left for school. Turns out the pants had a hole in the crotch and my period was due. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 3 365
    You deserved it 690
    Share  

    By Anonymous - 07/09/2018 22:00

    Today, my lazy, obese mother took the last motor cart at the grocery store. My leg is in a cast. She told me to "use the shopping cart to help with the limp" as she rolled away. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 3 412
    You deserved it 239
    Share  

    By Anonymous - 06/09/2018 14:30

    Today, I and several housemates have food poisoning. From what? Last night's Subway, which we only got to avoid eating the pork that was possibly bad as none of us wanted to be sick. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 2 589
    You deserved it 278
    Share  

    By Anonymous - 05/09/2018 20:30 - United States

    Today, my house was broken into. I'm really poor and don't have a television or nice clothing, so they just dumped my trash all over the house and stole my one loaf of bread that was supposed to last me for the week. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 3 919
    You deserved it 192
    Share  

    By Shep - 31/08/2018 13:00

    Today, while sleeping as soundly as I could on a plastic mattress, the night shift nurse in the psych ward woke me up in the middle of the night so that I could take my sleeping pill, which was prescribed as "if needed". FML
    I agree, your life sucks 3 201
    You deserved it 213
    Share  

    You what?

    By dumbucksally - 31/08/2018 06:00

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, my 30 year-old boyfriend of 4 years OD'd on his mental health medication, resulting in a trip to the hospital. He said the experience was eye-opening and he wants to be 100% honest with me. He then said he wants to have sex with his biological mother, who he finally met last year. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 5 446
    You deserved it 313
    Share  

    By DamnHippieSoap - 29/08/2018 23:30 - United States - Estero

    Today, I discovered my washcloths smelled like mushrooms. As I'm allergic to mold, I panicked and spent all day washing every towel and sheet in the house. At last, I went to take a shower and discovered that the mushroom smell was actually emanating from my $5-a-bar organic soap. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 714
    You deserved it 2 273
    Share  

    By Anonymous - 25/08/2018 20:30

    Today, I spent half an hour on the phone with four departments at my college due to a mistake on my tuition bill. The last guy I talked to told me to call the financial aid office and hung up before I could respond. That was the first office I called. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 2 699
    You deserved it 165
    Share  

    By Anonymous - 22/08/2018 20:30 - United States - Missoula

    Today, I found out that I was misdiagnosed with ADHD 10 years ago and instead have bipolar disorder. For the last 10 years I have been taking meds that helped me focus on my manic / depressive state. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 3 010
    You deserved it 195
    Share  

    All in a day's work!

    By Joshtodon - 21/08/2018 22:00

    Today, I was unloading tile boxes out of my pickup truck into this lady's garage. As I grabbed the last 50-pound box, a passing bird shat on my forehead. Green ooze ran down my whole face. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 2 823
    You deserved it 172
    Share  

    By karengoeswest - 16/08/2018 15:00

    Today, my coworker was talking about how he's met the man of his dreams and they've been dating for 3 months. He showed me a picture of them at Niagara Falls last weekend. His new boyfriend is my husband, who was supposedly on a business trip in Boston. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 5 063
    You deserved it 290
    Share  

    By Ugly_Broke_Medussssssa - 16/08/2018 01:30

    Today, while working at my job in a luxury retail store, a woman left me a business card. It was for a plastic surgeon. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 2 811
    You deserved it 234
    Share  

    By Poopsie - 13/08/2018 06:00

    Today, I went to the ER due to intense headaches. My partner was unable to go with me so he called his father to drive me. My father-in-law now knows that every time I orgasm my head feels like it will explode. He also knows that it happened 4 times last week. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 3 104
    You deserved it 424
    Share  

    By BrokeAF - 12/08/2018 14:30 - United States - Great Barrington

    Today, my ex showed up to pick up our kids in her brand new car. Last month child support doubled my amount because of a paperwork error. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 3 057
    You deserved it 361
    Share  

    By srs - 11/08/2018 20:30

    Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home drunk from a party last night. They said I couldn't hang out with my best friend anymore as he's a "bad influence". He was the only one sober in our group and drove me home safely. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 3 103
    You deserved it 519
    Share  

    By Anonymous - 09/08/2018 15:00

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, UPS delivered my kinky sex toys to my ex-husband. Apparently the delivery went wrong so they sent it to the last known address. He called to say he got my "package" and I had to go pick it up. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 3 233
    You deserved it 641
    Share  

    By Anonymous - 07/08/2018 04:43

    Today, my boss asked me to talk to the HR manager to see if I was happy about my pay, which made me think I was going to get a raise. Turns out they paid me nearly twice as much as they should have for the last 2 years and I owe them over €5000. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 3 209
    You deserved it 211
    Share  

    Heavy session

    By shittyemployee - 28/07/2018 19:00

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I rushed to work after a night of drinking and partying, and put my hair up on my way in. People started worriedly asking what happened to my head, so I looked in the mirror. I had scratches and a welt on my forehead from hitting the wall during sex last night. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 865
    You deserved it 3 220
    Share  

    By housematefromhell - 21/07/2018 21:29

    Today, my housemate revealed her supposed loss of function of her arm was all a lie. I spent hours in the ER with her and had to go to work the next day. Last time she lied about cancer. I'm stuck sharing with her for another 7 months. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 3 773
    You deserved it 395
    Share  

    By ViviMage - 20/07/2018 20:30

    Today, while working in a blood drawing clinic, a mom sat in the chair holding her 4-year-old child, who kicked me square in the groin. Being a heavyset lady, I shrugged it off and collected the sample, while the child screamed, "Kicking worked on the last man that did this!" FML
    I agree, your life sucks 3 907
    You deserved it 403
    Share  

    Freaky...

    By shinra - 18/07/2018 20:30

    Today, it's the third time in a row that I've woken myself up in the middle of the night by pouring freezing cold water on myself. I didn’t even have water on my nightstand last night. I woke up in the kitchen. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 3 490
    You deserved it 307
    Share  
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    Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 45 057
    You deserved it 7 202
    Today, I returned home from an extended vacation only to find out my cousin wasn't kidding when he said he was going to steal my boyfriend. I thought I was dating a straight guy. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 48 431
    You deserved it 3 620
    Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 37 353
    You deserved it 5 831
    Today, my social awkwardness got to an all-time high when I hoped that I wouldn't get the job that I applied for, because I'd be working with the public. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 378
    You deserved it 360
    Today, I asked a gynecologist if there’s any help for my boobs feeling like giant bruises one week out of three. Her reply was, “If you’re not willing to take pain killers for it, it can’t be that bad.” FML
    I agree, your life sucks 807
    You deserved it 216
    Today, I took my toddler to a library story hour. He sat quietly for almost ten minutes, which should have been my first warning. Right as the librarian began reading a dramatic part, my son pointed at her and shouted, “That lady is very old.” FML
    I agree, your life sucks 303
    You deserved it 102
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