Today, I was unloading tile boxes out of my pickup truck into this lady's garage. As I grabbed the last 50-pound box, a passing bird shat on my forehead. Green ooze ran down my whole face. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML
Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML
Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML
Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML
Today, just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse, a bird shat on my lunch. FML
Today, I was sitting on the back porch with my husband. I felt two raindrops land on my head, so I said we should go inside because it was starting to rain. It turned out to just be a bird shitting on me. FML
Today, I had quite the long and busy day at work. Also today, the AC in my workplace decided to go on vacation. I was sweating and about to pass out by the end of it. Then, as I was walking home, I got pooped on by a bird. Twice. FML
Today, I spent 90 dollars and two and a half hours getting my hair done at a fancy salon. As I was unlocking my car, a bird pooped in my hair. FML
Today, I was asleep in my back garden and woke up when a bird landed on my hat and took a big shit right in my open mouth. FML
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Top comments
Zekfen 17
Are you bald? Shiny heads are ideal targets.
BurnInDemonFire 35
Apparently, it's good luck, so make sure you play the lottery the next chance you get.
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Comments (8)
Zekfen 17
Are you bald? Shiny heads are ideal targets.
Davros 12
What a coincidence, we got shitfaced seeing Pearl Jam at Wrigley field this weekend.
Kruxon 11
So you were an easy target.. even for a bird.
commandpriority 5
Well... shit.
Charlie Given 26
Wow I guess the bird didn't approve of the design of the tiles 😏
BurnInDemonFire 35
Apparently, it's good luck, so make sure you play the lottery the next chance you get.
distortedcognition 17
Manfred von Richthofen of birds! Did it sport lovely red plumage?
blahblabbity 19
now you’re literally a ********