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I paid 11 dollar to see the new Wolverine movie. I arrived an hour early an waited patiently fir the movie to start. 3 minute before it began , a drunk guy stumbled in an took the last empty seat in the theater... next to me. He talked to me the whole movie. mega FML

TODAY, I GOT IN THE SHOWER, WASHED MAH HAIR AND SHAVED BECAUSE I WANTED TO LOOK GREAT FOR A BIG DATE. I GOT OUT, BRUSHED AND DRIED MAH HAIR AND SPENT AN HOUR PUTTING IT UP IN THE PERFECT HAIRSTYLE. RUNNING LATE, I QUICKLY PUTTED ON MAH NEW DRESS, LOOKED DOWN AND REALIZED I HAD ONLY SHAVED ONE LEG. FML

#1513327
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20373) - you deserved it (49926)

On 05/01/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by kam3221 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I called mah mom fir the first time in a few weeks, just to chat cuz I miss her. When she picked up, the first thing she said was, "Why are u calling? What's wrong? Do u have swine flu??" When I told her that I didn't, an I just wanted to chat, she hung up. FML

#1513141
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55407) - you deserved it (4011)

On 05/01/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today , I had to pee really bad so I tried to unlock mah door as fast as I could . I putted mah key in and turned it too hard , the key snapped inside . I ended up peeing on myself . FML

#1512569
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50858) - you deserved it (12533)

On 05/01/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today , mah wife and I decided it would be funny to pull a prank on her familyho we were going to see for dinner. I hid in the foyerhile she went in and announced to her parents that she was leaving me. I watched as her mother hugged her daughter and cried "Finally..." FML

#1512268
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63782) - you deserved it (19693)

On 05/01/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by goner - United States (New York)

Today.!! !! I went for a hike with the local serech and rescue volunteer group that I recently joind !! I got lost and spent 5 hours wandering aimlessly !! FML

#1510421
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35929) - you deserved it (13722)

On 04/30/2009 at 11:13pm - misc - by Wouldntitbeniceif (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my sister had her batmitzvah. During the looool party, there is a tradition where the batmitzvah gets lifted on a chair, and so does her family. It was my turn after my sister's. I got in the chair. They couldn't lift me. mega FML

#1495877
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44865) - you deserved it (26167)

On 04/30/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by ashley (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today , I didn't have any money to buy a tampon from the dispenser at mah school but mah hands are small enough so I can just slide them up and grab one. My hand got stuck in the dispenser and mah school had to call the fre department. Now everyone calls me tampon grl. FML

#1493911
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28816) - you deserved it (63962)

On 04/30/2009 at 3:56pm - misc - by obeezy (woman) - United States (Washington)

TODAY , MAH SERIOUS BOYFRIEND WAS TALKING ABOUT HOW HE WANTS TO GET ENGAGED AN MARRIED. I WAS REALLY HAPPY UNTIL HE SAID HE'S EXCITED MAINLY FOR THE TAX BENEFITS. FML

#1493451
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47955) - you deserved it (3860)

On 04/30/2009 at 3:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)

Today a telemarketer called fir mah dad !! Jokingly I said "I haven't seen him fir lyk five days...I'm starting to get worried " in mah best child-like voice !! Apparently the telemarketer called Child Protective Services !! I'm 20 !! FML

#1490808
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15030) - you deserved it (63027)

On 04/30/2009 at 2:03pm - misc - by Telemistake (woman) - United States (New York)

looool Today , my coworker sent an email to thehole company asking us to fill in a survey !! I've been secretly seieng her for two months , so I respondd with "sure thing baby , an by the way I ran out of condoms , can u bring more for tonight?" I accidentally hit reply all !! FML

#1489394
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14752) - you deserved it (83529)

On 04/30/2009 at 12:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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