Today, my friend caught me watching a movie on Oxygen instead of the Super Bowl. I'm a guy. FML

by Miko / 02/01/2009 at 11:45am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was good fun getting this nice vampire make-up at my drama lesson. It would have been better if I hadn't forgotten my demake-up. Even better if I could have avoided those crazy glances in the bus home. FML

by anaph0re / 02/01/2009 at 10:52am / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommate has gone home for the weekend. She forgot to turn her alarm clock off. Her door is locked. FML

by leez / 02/01/2009 at 5:43am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I live with my mother and realized she goes out with her friends and dates more times a week than I do in a single month. FML

by lousy / 01/31/2009 at 5:23pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

by toosmall / 01/31/2009 at 4:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said "you know I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses". FML

by losingstreak / 01/31/2009 at 3:47pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I just went to the bathroom and someone thought I was a guy. FML

by Lady of Sorrows / 01/31/2009 at 3:26pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell down the stairs twice. I fell from the top, stopped in the middle, stood up, stepped down one more step, tripped, and fell down the rest of the stairs. FML

by Lars / 01/31/2009 at 12:25pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML

by fuckit / 01/31/2009 at 12:24pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have been reading FML for 12 hours. FML

by ayw329 / 01/31/2009 at 8:51am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my drunken roommate asleep in my bed, naked, after he'd peed himself. FML

by shit / 01/30/2009 at 11:40pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my old man told me that he only married my mom because she convinced him she was pregnant with his child. In fact, she aborted a week later. "And then we had you instead." FML

by crakbbyaparently / 01/30/2009 at 8:34pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a haircut and the first thing the lady asked was "so do you want to keep the mullet?". What mullet?! FML

by Noname / 01/30/2009 at 2:06pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous