Music, Farts and Miscellaneous: Today, as well as for the past two weeks, my brother has been... - FML

By swervelol - 14/07/2016 19:06

Today, as well as for the past two weeks, my brother has been making up songs about farts and singing them non-stop. He's 26. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 762

You deserved it 1 107

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Same thing different taste

A modern classic

By Anonymous - 14/12/2023 00:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my friend has been continuously played Skibidi Toilet on repeat and singing the song. She's 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 114

By Username - 14/07/2011 20:09 - United States

Today, I walked in on my father and brother attempting to harmonize their farts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 321

You deserved it 5 753

By everore - 25/12/2012 18:12 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 064

You deserved it 3 457

By deerling - 18/03/2019 06:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 928

You deserved it 334

Unpleasant

By Anonymous - 13/05/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, my brother tried to sit on my head and fart, except he followed through. It didn’t make it past his trousers but for a few brief seconds before he ran to the bathroom I could smell it and feel how warm it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 96

By poopexperttt - 07/09/2012 07:12 - United States

Today, my brother started a new tradition: sending me pictures of every poop he takes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 553

You deserved it 2 446

By soannoyed - 22/09/2013 21:21 - United States

Today, my brother decided it would be funny for almost every sentence out of his mouth to start with the word "hashtag". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 719

You deserved it 4 408

By anonymous - 30/07/2015 22:04 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, I had to sit through an entire conversation where my sister and her boyfriend sent voice messages to one another, of their farts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 682

You deserved it 2 209

It sort of is

By AMP4U - 31/08/2011 01:28 - United States

Today, my fiancé changed his text message tone to a fart noise. He thinks it's hilarious and laughs every time he gets a text. He's 35 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 223

You deserved it 7 461

By DeeDee - 04/02/2014 22:08 - Austria - Vienna

Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently read my material beforehand, and kept finishing my jokes for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 735

You deserved it 5 440

Next

Top comments

ahabsfan 14

Saturday 27 August 2016 13:16

Would you rather he be silent, but deadly?

ThunderLightTSV 31

Saturday 27 August 2016 13:01

How mature of him. Maybe he'll make a living of it on the internet if you're lucky.

Comments

Oh_No_Not_Him 25

Friday 22 July 2016 17:13

You'll probably find if he puts them on Youtube he'll get about a gazillian hits for them!

ThunderLightTSV 31

Saturday 27 August 2016 13:01

How mature of him. Maybe he'll make a living of it on the internet if you're lucky.

sillymama 21

Saturday 27 August 2016 13:05

Lol. Men. Never stop being boys sometimes.

KyoshiroT 32

Saturday 27 August 2016 13:11

I guess you can finally say his music is shit. He had an opportunity yet he blew it. It must stink for him and for you, because he could've had songs that could've exploded, but he just didn't want it to go with the flow.

Lalala579121 27

Saturday 27 August 2016 13:12

I'm not your brother, am I OP?

ThunderLightTSV 31

Sunday 28 August 2016 4:17

No, no you're probably not.

ahabsfan 14

Saturday 27 August 2016 13:16

Would you rather he be silent, but deadly?

pjsr 32

Saturday 27 August 2016 13:35

If you provide auditory and olfactory accompaniment for his songs, perhaps he'll stop

SargeRho 6

Saturday 27 August 2016 13:55

We don't grow up. We just get bigger.

brose180158 9

Saturday 27 August 2016 14:09

Faze Adapt?

Imdonewiththisss 12

Saturday 27 August 2016 14:28

Reminds me of Gene from Bob's Burgers. What's the point of acting like a adult even around your family when you have to adult out there. Let him be childish where he can.

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The Top

Today, I realized that I'm the only person in my house not getting any. My sister is sleeping with my ex. My roommate is sleeping with my brother, and my mom texted me, asking to make it look like she slept in her bed so that she didn't have to do the "walk of shame" in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 456

You deserved it 2 906

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. The help-line told me, "Don't touch the door. We'll be there soon". Two hours later, I had a headache, my legs were stiff, and my date must've thought I stood her up. The tech finally arrived, pries the door open, then rudely asked, "Why didn't you do that yourself?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 451

You deserved it 3 567

The Top

Today, my wife went into the bathroom at Walmart. Being almost sure there was no one else in there, I stood around the corner to scare her. As the door opened, I jumped around the corner and scared an innocent woman to so badly she peed herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 246

You deserved it 3 514

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 261

You deserved it 2 123

Today, while on my daily jog, I passed a very attractive girl. While passing her, she yelled "hey cutie". Trying to look cool, I tried turning around without stopping. I then fell off the curb and severely sprained my ankle. She caught up to help but was laughing the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 962

You deserved it 40 485

Today, despite being in high school, I'm still shorter than the average 3rd grader. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 941

You deserved it 1 810

Today, when I was at the gynecologist my dr told me that I was really tense and the exam would be impossible if I didnt relax. So I started thinking about my boyfriend to relax and my mind went back to our last sex session. I started getting wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 279

You deserved it 70 028

Today, I learned that if you stare down an attractive man while pumping gas, he'll stare back. Then he might ask for your number. At which point his girlfriend will get out of the car and threaten to kick your ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 547

You deserved it 12 592