By anonymous - United States - Virginia Beach Today, I had to sit through an entire conversation where my sister and her boyfriend sent voice messages to one another, of their farts. FML I agree, your life sucks 24606 You deserved it 2191 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kammy - United States Today, my boyfriend and his family had invited me to go on a Tropical family trip with them. When we got to the airport, security stopped me and opened my carry-on bag. I'd forgotten about the no-liquids rule. They took out a bottle of Massage Oil, Lube, Vagasil and Nair. His whole family saw. FML I agree, your life sucks 27757 You deserved it 70188 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cat lady - United States - Netcong Today, I found out the reason why my cat would sometimes go outside for days at a time was because when she would go out, my neighbor would lure her in with cat treats and keep her there for up to 2 days. She's an indoor cat now. FML I agree, your life sucks 21671 You deserved it 2001 114 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML I agree, your life sucks 28941 You deserved it 6073 127 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dumbass - United States Today, I got into my first car accident. I hit my own parked car while trying to drive my mother's car into the garage. FML I agree, your life sucks 9845 You deserved it 26992 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kat - United States Today, I was trying out for a play I really wanted to be in. After my audition, I was feeling really good. She said she would post the cast list tomorrow. Not knowing where she would post it, I asked her. Her reply? "It doesn't matter. You won't be on it anyway." FML I agree, your life sucks 39149 You deserved it 3314 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By luciaspiano - United States Today, I was riding a bus. After having a conversation with my friend, I looked down and saw a little boy looking at me. He asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?" As if that wasn't bad enough, when I responded that I was a girl, he said, "Oh. So, why do you have a boy voice then?" FML I agree, your life sucks 30198 You deserved it 3034 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, instead of spending New Year's Eve having a romantic night out with my fiancé as we'd planned, I'm spending it sitting beside him in the hospital because his friends convinced him to go off-road ghost-riding in the dead of night. FML I agree, your life sucks 43043 You deserved it 4369 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By badgirl - United States Today, I Googled myself. I found my mugshot and a blog my mom had written about how much of a problem child I am. FML I agree, your life sucks 34261 You deserved it 23546 138 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DemiRawrs - United States Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML I agree, your life sucks 64518 You deserved it 4680 45 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Blah Unloveable Today, it was my second day of house-sitting. I was so out of my mind from not seeing people that I invited a bunch of friends over for dinner. I said I would pay for pizza and we could all hang out in the house. Even with an unsupervised house and free food, no one showed. FML I agree, your life sucks 1836 You deserved it 366 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Washington Pretend Today, my girlfriend tried to get me to wear curly wig, so I could pretend to be Harry Styles in bed. FML I agree, your life sucks 54580 You deserved it 6924 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Horsham Today, I had my first therapy session for the issues caused by trying to please my overbearing, paranoid, self-centred mother. The first thing she did after we started driving home? Ranting at me and demanding to know if I'd been "talking shit" about her to my therapist FML I agree, your life sucks 30676 You deserved it 2303 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my boyfriend tried to use his “grief” at the death of a coworker to get butt sex, even though I know for a fact he didn’t like the guy that much, and just last week wished for the guy to get hit by a bus. Pretty despicable way to try get back door access if you ask me. FML I agree, your life sucks 2106 You deserved it 402 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By papergirl - United States Today, I went to a fancy restaurant. I was coming right from work and brought a change of clothes with me. I parked in an empty corner of the parking lot to change. As I was pulling my pants up, I noticed that I was facing an apartment complex where an old guy was watching me from his balcony. FML I agree, your life sucks 39194 You deserved it 19518 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By aisbash - United States - Los Angeles Today, I was waitressing at work, when a woman decided to change her baby's nappy on a table. One moment I was asking her to leave, and the next, she was shoving a fully shat-out nappy into my hands. She asked me to get rid of it and fetch her baby wipes. FML I agree, your life sucks 43001 You deserved it 3609 105 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By serendipity1027 - France Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML I agree, your life sucks 34712 You deserved it 8851 183 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 7/9/2020 05:32 - India - Mumbai Haircut, haircuuuut Today, I came to the decision that I needed some variety in my life, so I decided to get a haircut. My mom insisted that she could do it and that she had experience because she cuts my dad's short hair. I had thick, long hair. Now, my hair is uneven, ugly and short. FML I agree, your life sucks 1024 You deserved it 643 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By happyturtle - Croatia Today, my friend told me she turned down a job as a babysitter because she didn't want to be secretly videotaped, as she knew the people had a nanny cam. I wasn't aware of this when I took that same job a few nights ago and asked my boyfriend to come by. We had sex on their couch. FML I agree, your life sucks 29299 You deserved it 100819 166 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Where is it? Today, as I was reviewing my EMS textbook, I decided I would practice taking my own pulse. I started with finding my femoral artery with no success. My mom walked in on me while I had my hand almost up my crotch, muttering to myself, "Why don't I have one?" FML I agree, your life sucks 1499 You deserved it 351 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I was woken up by an overly sappy good morning text from my boyfriend, complete with kissy-face images. Before I could text him back, he sent a follow-up. "Oops. Wrong person." Wait, what? FML I agree, your life sucks 3886 You deserved it 305 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sheila Deville Delirious fever days are the BEST! Today, it's day 5 of being out of my mind with a fever. I actually uttered the words, "Spit is a lubricant, not a frictioncant or gripperorator." FML I agree, your life sucks 1246 You deserved it 190 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By KatieB - United Kingdom - Newark Today, my boyfriend was over. I asked my dad how long until dinner was ready, his reply was, "Five minutes, so no, you can't go upstairs for a quickie". FML I agree, your life sucks 32438 You deserved it 7277 127 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia - Ashburton Today, trying to be a good role model for the kids behind me, I stopped and thoroughly checked both sides of the road before crossing. I still managed to get hit by a car. FML I agree, your life sucks 38464 You deserved it 7301 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thisisme - Canada Today, I was on a plane. When my flight attendant brought me my drink, it had a lid and a straw. He told me, very seriously, "not to spill." No one else got a lid. I'm 18, and apparently I look spill-prone. FML I agree, your life sucks 27613 You deserved it 3451 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By welp - United States - Belton Today, I was making a homemade pizza for myself. I've been unhappy lately, so I arranged the pepperoni in the shape of a smiley face to cheer myself up. The pizza burned. FML I agree, your life sucks 26626 You deserved it 3583 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dan - Canada Today, to my surprise my girlfriend said, "I've never felt this way before." We have been dating for six months, and I knew that I loved her, so I replied, "Me neither, I love you." There was a long awkward pause. Turns out, she was talking about her abnormally painful period cramps. FML I agree, your life sucks 34357 You deserved it 4573 47 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By crapedup - United States Today, I mentioned to my wife that we should try marriage counseling. She responded by denying it while throwing a carton of milk at me. FML I agree, your life sucks 27940 You deserved it 3056 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Stickysituation - United States - Depew Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML I agree, your life sucks 39624 You deserved it 4476 139 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 5/8/2020 02:02 Empathy Man Today, I told my man I was feeling a lack of emotional closeness and dialogue in our relationship. I'd hoped for a comeback like, "So what do you need in order to change that?" Or even, "Aw, come here, let's cuddle!" Instead, I got a simple, "I don't." FML I agree, your life sucks 1338 You deserved it 294 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sawarski - United States Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML I agree, your life sucks 32558 You deserved it 3278 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my girlfriend contacted me. She said she'd thought over her feelings over our temporary break in the relationship, and she wanted to try again. Being my stupid, self-loathing self, I asked her so many questions on if she was sure or not that she went back into doubt and revoked the offer. FML I agree, your life sucks 8469 You deserved it 11193 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Gassy - United States Today, I was studying for one of my finals that I had later in the week but decided to take a break and play around with my boyfriend in bed for a couple hours. We decided to 69 for the first time, and everything was going great until out of nowhere, I loudly farted in his face. FML I agree, your life sucks 28198 You deserved it 10862 127 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By taylor124 - United States Today, I listened to a voice mail from my mom about how she misses me and cant wait to see me when I get back from vacation. Thinking she hung up, my mother then had a conversation with my aunt about how quiet the house is without me and how she'd be blessed if I didn't come home. FML I agree, your life sucks 39948 You deserved it 2860 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jj - Australia - Windermere Park Today, I was sick and had soccer trials on the same day. At the soccer trials, the coach called me over and told me I was doing really good and to keep it up. I said thanks and vomited on him. FML I agree, your life sucks 36992 You deserved it 3348 44 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By figures - United States Today, I found out I've been misspelling my middle name for 25 years. FML I agree, your life sucks 19358 You deserved it 40452 166 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sam Today, my 5-year-old daughter innocently asked a lady how much money she makes. In response, the lady bent down and slapped my daughter so hard she fell on her butt and cried. Then she slapped me for "not raising her right". FML I agree, your life sucks 3826 You deserved it 531 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, I walked into two things. The first was a spiderweb. The second, due to blind panic, was oncoming traffic. FML I agree, your life sucks 26847 You deserved it 5806 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By please leave... - United States - Roanoke Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML I agree, your life sucks 33067 You deserved it 6339 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ApparentlyaPotato - United States - Coeur D Alene Today, I was called a "Potato" for at least the 30th time by people online for living in Idaho. I've lived here my whole life, I have yet to see a potato farm. None of these people has even left the East Coast. FML I agree, your life sucks 18456 You deserved it 2189 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mommy - United Kingdom Today, it was my first day back to work since having my first baby. To show I had caught up on everything, I had to give a presentation at the end of the day to the heads of my department. It went really well until the end, when one of them pointed out that breast-milk had been leaking through my clothes the entire time. FML I agree, your life sucks 38184 You deserved it 3323 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Khepre | 22 #6367155 - Friday 31 July 2015 11:15 That is true love right there. Send a private message 287 4 Reply
By foreverfmls | 10 #6367154 - Friday 31 July 2015 11:14 Well... At least they're comfortable with each other! Send a private message 187 4 Reply
By foreverfmls | 10 #6367154 - Friday 31 July 2015 11:14 Well... At least they're comfortable with each other! Send a private message 187 4 Reply
Reply shessohighh | 10 #6367693 - Saturday 1 August 2015 0:32 #relationshipgoals Send a private message 5 7 Reply
Reply punwpa | 12 #6368987 - Sunday 2 August 2015 14:04 #relationshitgoals Send a private message 8 4 Reply
Reply chaylea | 19 #6440335 - Tuesday 20 October 2015 23:51 #54 I see what you did there Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By Khepre | 22 #6367155 - Friday 31 July 2015 11:15 That is true love right there. Send a private message 287 4 Reply
By echarlotte | 19 #6367156 - Friday 31 July 2015 11:15 Close relationship? Send a private message 35 5 Reply
Reply LyricaSilvan | 29 #6367535 - Friday 31 July 2015 19:49 You, sir, are brilliant. Send a private message 7 2 Reply
By GrinchFu1 | 27 #6367158 - Friday 31 July 2015 11:16 I tried to fart into my phone using the talk to text feature and nothing happened. I'm a little disappointed. Anyway, *fart noise.* Send a private message 66 3 Reply
By samuelreza | 9 #6367159 - Friday 31 July 2015 11:16 that stinks man Send a private message 8 22 Reply
By AGhost5445 | 25 #6367161 - Friday 31 July 2015 11:20 Join in and make it a group message Send a private message 38 4 Reply
By DerrickJames | 33 #6367162 - Friday 31 July 2015 11:24 In what scenario would you have to sit through that? Stuck in a car? Send a private message 28 5 Reply
Reply chuchusheep | 19 #6367358 - Friday 31 July 2015 17:16 if they were stuck in a car with the two, that would be a pretty bad scenario in more ways than one. Send a private message 22 0 Reply
By RarityRoyale | 17 #6367164 - Friday 31 July 2015 11:30 And who says that romance is dead... Send a private message 39 5 Reply
By aylind | 18 #6367166 - Friday 31 July 2015 11:35 Don't be jealous op. You'll find someone to do that with someday as well :p Send a private message 11 14 Reply
By abNormal62 | 23 #6367168 - Friday 31 July 2015 11:42 Sounds like a gas... Send a private message 4 19 Reply
Today, my best friend confided in me that she's going to have sex with her cousin. Shocked, I tried to convince her not to and how it's a horrible idea.... I agree, your life sucks 72 You deserved it 10 1 Comments
Today, my ex-girlfriend called me say she needed her car repaired. I fixed it as fast as I could so she could get back on her way, only to find out she’s... I agree, your life sucks 358 You deserved it 268 5 Comments