Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon, after I'd explained to her how scared I was of The Exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my mom admitted to me that, when I was a baby, my grandmother kidnapped me and took me to the priest to perform an exorcism, because she swore I was the "spawn of Satan." FML
Today, I went to see the latest Paranormal Activity movie with my mother. We were terrified and held hands at one point. The person sitting behind us thought it would be hilarious to abruptly scream into my mother's ear. She reacted by flailing and driving her arm straight into my face. FML
Today, my parents watched a horror movie with some creepy child in it. Apparently, I sound just like that kid when I call for my mom, so now she doesn't want me to call her mom anymore. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a figure holding a knife above me. After I screamed in terror, the figure burst into laughter. It was my mom. She did this as payback for me not washing the dishes last night after making food. FML
Today, my mother showed up to pick something up from my house. I was sleeping and before I knew it she was in my bedroom, jumping on my bed, saying hi to my ex-girlfriend who she thought was with me. It wasn't my ex, and I doubt that girl will ever want to hang out again after that awkward morning. FML
Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on for hours and I still scream every time. FML
Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML
Today, my mom thought it would be funny to wake me up with a monster mask on, holding a knife, and screaming, "I'm going to kill you!" My first response was to punch her in the face then kick her. Guess who's grounded for a month. FML
Today, my mother told me she wanted me to get an exorcism. Yes, she was serious. I'm Jewish. FML
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
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Top comments
Varhsity_tK 9
What if it wasn't her....
bitchimabunnyz33 13
Plot twist... it wasn't her...
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Comments (91)
Varhsity_tK 9
What if it wasn't her....
girlrome 19
Yeah. Maybe it wasn't...
mageepaigeee44 15
DUN DUN DUNNN
simplysarcastics 26
A pastor told me that when we watch scary movies sometimes those things get invited in. long story short i watched the grudge 3 and saw the creepy pale lady in my dream (or was it a dream!?) face to face sucking my breath soon after! Yes I am indeed scared for life.
ironichalibut 24
Dreams are a subconscious, psychological thing. Your brain uses that time to sort through and organize all the data it records throughout the day. That's why people often dream about things that happen before bed, or things they are worried about.
jemiller226 13
#53, stop listening to people who think science is stupid.
ptoka 20
59, I was a science major in college and I have to say let everyone have their own opinion. Why are you suddenly so ******* smart to tell people who or what to believe?
simplysarcastics 26
59 what are you talking about, are you stereotyping? Because I had a professor that believed in science taught it and still believed in God. Lol your point is invalid.
OfficialJSmooth1 6
Omg... I cant!!! I promise if i close my eyes for a second and even imagine something like that... Let's just face it. i'm dying of a heart attack now. Thanks Obama...
ActionFearo 39
There's really no proof that it was her... burn some sage.
coried91 28
The mother of the year award goes to...
Queen_bee1234 21
Why didn't you finish your sentence?
Welshite 40
#16: Haven't you ever watched competitive TV shows when they announce the winner? The pauses before the final result is revealed are comical in length.
Jasmeent11 15
What do you think she is, psychic?
coried91 28
Well I was going to say OP's mom's name but I didn't want op to know that I'm stalking her. Shit! Too late now.
Queen_bee1234 21
Incomplete thoughts are like...
coried91 28
Well, I think that incomplete thoughts are fun. You can add onto someone's...
AnOriginalName 19
... Sandwiches!
jsp16 24
Granny Hag
jsp16 24
Let me explain Granny Hag. There is a myth in town, saying that if you're in sleep paralysis, its actually an old lady supposedly holding you down. Her name is granny hag. God I hate my town sometimes.
nchic01 17
cool mom
L2U7A_E5I9A2E8H 20
Yeah, clearly she was just trying to help you get over your fear. I think you should return the favor ;)
g_willikers24 17
She's awesome
bitchimabunnyz33 13
Plot twist... it wasn't her...
warsun 27
*swtiches light on and off while making retarded thunder noise*
speakersboom 19
nausferatu...!
aktail01 10
Your mom kicks ass
Welshite 40
Ugh, she forgot the pea soup!
andits 21
I smell revenge......
ComoEsJuan 24
I am pretty sure that smell is the pile of shit on OP's bed.
baxeh 29
Return the favour!
Jasmeent11 15
I wouldn't consider it a favour...
Mightyrif 23
I wouldn't consider your comment to be of intelligent mind.
jellybeens_fml 16
Plot twist, it wasn't her
ImAFaker 29
Plot twist, this has been said a million times before. Actually, that's more like a fact.
lemontreee 11
You should poop in her bed for revenge and tell her it wasn't you.
Jasmeent11 15
Under her pillow.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
In my life time of countless revenge schemes, this is not one I'd follow. If someone were to dookie in my sheets, I'd beat them to a pulp. You do not deuce in someone else's bed! That's thee worst thing I've ever heard of. Prank war or not, that's too far.
Rainhawk94 27
T bag her in her sleep
thinmintgal 21
omg im dying over here! lmfao