Not now, mom!

By Anonymous - 28/09/2020 18:02 - United States - Gillette

Today, my mother showed up to pick something up from my house. I was sleeping and before I knew it she was in my bedroom, jumping on my bed, saying hi to my ex-girlfriend who she thought was with me. It wasn't my ex, and I doubt that girl will ever want to hang out again after that awkward morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 299

You deserved it 205

Fête Nationale: Fireworks and Faux Pas
Celebrate the nation with stories where it's not just fireworks that sparkle! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Sarah - 26/01/2013 05:14 - United States

Today, my mom barged into my room at three in the morning, demanding to know where I'd been. I'd been in my room sleeping since ten o'clock. In that time she had called the police, all of my friends, and my ex-boyfriend, asking if I was with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 303

You deserved it 2 484

By Anonymous - 02/12/2010 21:50 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted get to know my mom, so they went off and had a chat. After an hour, I noticed my girlfriend was gone and my mom was waiting for me. Apparently I've been dumped through my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 583

You deserved it 2 884

Paging Taylor Swift

By Anonymous - 25/05/2023 15:00

Today, my mom ambushed me with my cheating ex-fiancé, thinking being in the same room would miraculously change the past and we’d get back together. When I tried to walk out, my mom screamed like a banshee and latched onto my leg. After this I’m putting her in a retirement home and never visiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 009

You deserved it 97

Bigmouth strikes again

By Anonymous - 19/09/2020 08:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 1 245

ur mom gay

By Anonymous - 02/05/2018 01:30

Today, I pretended to be asleep when my mom and her best friend came home because I was tired as hell and I didn't want to be around them. I was then treated to a loud conversation about my mom's first time with a woman through our paper-thin walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 321

You deserved it 734

By Noname - 06/02/2009 19:23 - United States

Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 646

You deserved it 18 554

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 709

You deserved it 2 387

Leave me alone

By TordNorski - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Mission Viejo

Today, I finally had a day off in two weeks and I was excited about getting to sleep in. At 5 a.m., my mom loudly knocked and came in. When I asked her what she wanted, she said she was checking to see if I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 299

You deserved it 1 192

Mommy's bravest boy

By Anonymous - 13/11/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, my ex broke up with me because his mom didn't like me. He was visiting me across the country at the time, and still had a few days left. He had the audacity to still ask to sleep with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537

You deserved it 78

By FatalxDesire599 - 05/03/2010 15:39 - United States

Today, my mother stormed into my room shouting about how I never go anywhere and then tells me to go out "NOW" and do something. As she is pushing me out the door, her boyfriend walks in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 698

You deserved it 2 837

princess_stabitty 20

Tuesday 29 September 2020 6:16

I don't think your mom has a good idea what a personal space and personal boundaries are. Educate.

Chazzster 29

Tuesday 29 September 2020 4:18

Change your locks, do not give your family a key to your home. It could have been worse...

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 29 September 2020 2:42

Part way through this story, I inexplicably started singing "Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed," and got sidetracked. What happened?

Slim87R 7

Tuesday 29 September 2020 4:08

That is just weird. Is there no boundaries in your household?

Chazzster 29

Tuesday 29 September 2020 4:18

Change your locks, do not give your family a key to your home. It could have been worse...

princess_stabitty 20

Tuesday 29 September 2020 6:16

I don't think your mom has a good idea what a personal space and personal boundaries are. Educate.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Liar Love Kids Parenting Miscellaneous Annoying Health Family Alcohol Healthy Lifestyle Relatable Transportation Cars Mental health Party Awkward Birthday Technology Frustration Amazon Work Friends Parents Dogs Coworkers Embarrassing Neighbours Gross Scams Money

The Top

Today, I had a date with a woman I had been talking to for a month. We hit it off, the date went fantastic, and we agreed to see each other again. Fast forward a few hours and I'm told she decided to pursue someone else, equates it to "bad timing", but wants to be friends. If not for bad luck, I'd have no luck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 103

Today, I arrived at a campsite, got everything set up, and went for a shower. However, when I got back, a drunken rhino of a woman had crawled into my tent, been sick, then passed out on my freshly-washed bedding. She was so fat I couldn’t even roll her. I had to sleep in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 74

The Top

Today, I found out that my sleep-walking is so bad that I regularly text my friend while I sleep. I have no idea how many times this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 634

You deserved it 3 504

Today, I told my husband I want to lose the baby weight I put on with my recent pregnancy, and once I succeed I will go on a clothes shopping spree. To this he remarked, "So either way I'm spending money; either on food or on clothes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 308

You deserved it 10 879

Today, at a job interview, I was asked what I dislike the most, to which I blurted out "people". I don't think I'm landing this one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 576

You deserved it 1 140

Today, I snuck up behind my cousin and stole his drink. I took a sip, laughed and said, "haha, I got your drink!" He turned around with a giant, oozing cold sore on his lip and said, "haha, you got mouth herpes!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 363

You deserved it 7 098

Today, I was called 15 times by a "good redneck boy" that my Mom is trying to set me up with. He has called me at least 5 times a day for the past week. My Mom is still encouraging him to call. I had to unplug the phone because I feel stalked in my own dorm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 970

You deserved it 2 847

Today, I accidentally slipped on a wet floor at my local mall after copious amounts of snow. There was no sign. I accidentally hit a lady trying to help me when falling backwards and gave her a bloody nose. I am now banned from the mall for two weeks and told I was lucky she didn’t press charges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 901