Today, my daughter asked why there was an X marked on a telephone pole. I told her it meant that they were going to remove it. She started crying and saying, "They can't kill the tree!" She's 16. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML
Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML
Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML
Today, I woke up and found that the tree in my front yard was gone. FML
Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML
Today, my family and I were decorating the Christmas tree. It seemed a bit unstable, but we decorated it without any problems. Later, while my daughter sat by the tree, it began to fall. Her grandmother stopped the tree from hitting her. I, on the other hand, screamed like a little girl. I'm a 38 year-old guy. FML
Today, my daughter asked me to join the Army so that she wouldn't have to see me anymore. She's four. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school. They found her on the roof, threatening to kill herself. I had to pretend to sound scared and sad over the phone, but in reality, the only emotion I could feel was extreme joy. FML
Today, my boss sent me to remove a tree from a client's home. So I went and cut down the tree, only for my boss to show up an hour later, speechless. I was supposed to remove a sapling that had sprouted through the driveway tarmac, not the 100-year-old prizewinning Japanese cherry tree. FML
Today, it has been 8 months since I started a photography project in which I would take a picture of the same tree every day for a year. I just heard a noise outside. They cut the tree down. FML
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Top comments
lol_ironic_life 9
Parent-"That poor tree has been in tree heaven for a while dear."
chrstygrl06 10
LEAVE THE TREE ALONE!!
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Comments (124)
Edwinadii 4
Damm tree hugers
chocomilk82 0
I'd like to hug those knockers
Edwinadii 4
Same.....Lmao
daniel1_1 13
I'd want to do more than hug them
peachesbeach 0
telegraph? wouldn't it be a telephone pole?...
Jammy01jams 2
or hydro? I don't think many people use a telegraph anymore... beep beep beep bep.
italiangurrl 8
wouldn't she just be a wood hugger? I mean if it's a pole, the tree is already dead lol OP, you've shown great parenting skills. Not. :P
chosenunicorny 5
Tree humpers are worst than tree huggers...
2ndSucks 15
Because being a wood hugger wood show even worse parenting skills, as the term 'wood hugger' sounds like a strange term for hand job. :) Then her daughter wold be a ho.
mali198922 6
tree huger? what's that something that makes trees bigger?
baddud300 6
Maybe something special happen to her there? :D
hellogoodbye1996 6
the boobs are gross :/ idk it's your opinion but I just gave mine
liquidfireKAN 0
wow I find it funny how there haven't been any blonde jokes thus far.
seanders 10
Fake boobs suck.
theaws0m3guy 4
Damn hippies.
quade25 0
that girl has a nice rack
Wtf91101 3
Idiot daughter can still worship my wood
zendaddy0 0
don't use toilet paper hug a tree don't wipe your ass with it
moogiex9 6
Careful, lads, they look like they might explode if you squeeze too hard. :P
Leeshawbrown 3
62 & 81 - I agree. Real or no deal.
J1hill33 12
yeah fake boobs are weird. I bet she's leaning over in the pic because she can't stand straight up with those things
silvermoonstar3 3
Maybe it was a tree and the 'daughter' was 5. It's hard to tell. There certainly isn't a TELEGRAPH pole. The word is telephone. OP could be 90 and confused.
incrapper 7
damn who's that girl on ur profile pic :)
Tommananaze6T9 4
tig old bitties!
Babalu722 3
my girlfriend :D
windfuelsfire 10
be wary of her, she has 3 heads. like a hydra
scrapmetal58 9
Uh oh. She malfunctioned. Her Emergency Floatation Devices have already fired. Looks like they've had some work done before. Must be a lemon.
Kape_fml 4
Have you ever thought she was just joking
cicatrice_fml 8
What do tree hugers do? Make trees huge? I do know about tree huggers. Obviously, the only reason this comment got so many thumbs up is because of...boobs in your pic. Her face is a bit manly, by the way.
FC_Barcelona 0
165, is an environmentalist, and no we just dont give a flying **** about a tree
daniel1991 0
damn tree hugers.....damn distracting boobs!
livin_plur 0
165- manly meaning a nice way of saying, her face is no comparison at all to her ****, we call that a butter face haha
Edwinadii 4
165- Did he just come out of the closet??
incrapper 7
it's not really a girl it's a guy he just thought she was hot so he made her his profile pic and just enjoy the pic :)
kiddo1234578 1
I was the first person to comment on this asking who the chick was from the pro pic. I got banned for that. FML.
dabbers23 0
You're hot. :p
Temi25 6
I think that's the same girl who was stupid. When her mom gave the bank teller her daughter's birth certificate, the daughter was like "How do you know my name" and the was like I've raised a nitwit
drcool41 0
lol nice **** #2
drcool41 0
lol nice **** #1
Bforr 5
XD
Justforlolz 14
3- was that your pathetic attempt to be "first"?
hellokittay 5
maybe she likes trees alot? :)
Chinnithy 0
Or pole
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Or "poles" ^_-
ScaughtieHolden 11
^ I see what you did there.
bfsd42 20
Whenever anyone says "I see what you did there", I just want to strangle them. Are you so proud that you picked up on some wordplay that you feel the need to share it with the FML world with a stupid comment?
btown1616 0
woah settle down there buddy no need to flip a tit its just a cliché, i actually find it kinda funny
applesuckers 0
Calm down. It's not even that serious...
hellokittay 5
lmao. when I posted it, I re-read the fml and realized I rushed through it and didn't read it right, but I didn't change it, just to see which know-it-all's would comment on it.
nicobington 1
I see what u did there
LuukBaas 0
^hahaha
alizzette_nabash 6
it is when the Op thinks her daughter is a moron :P
rainbotato 14
*a lot
lol_ironic_life 9
Parent-"That poor tree has been in tree heaven for a while dear."
Rene_North 1
nice
rainbo955 0
exactly. Lol. I was thinking that same thing.
heartbrakej 0
OMFG NOOO! THEY CAN'T KILL THAT TREE! :(
Pinkkmissymoo 7
Are you ******* retarded?
MissLyonsBaby 4
No sorry you couldn't be that stupid so why write that?
shepaintsmusic 6
I detect sarcasm, humans.
unomo 0
god! you know there's a thing called sarcasm!
chrstygrl06 10
LEAVE THE TREE ALONE!!
chrstygrl06 10
I think I'm the only one who remembers the Leave Britney Alone video..
SGT_DBL 15
I remember the episode of South Park where they made a refrence to it... I never saw the actual video.
EmmyRahh 5
lol chris crocker is in **** now
MaryJane232323 9
hahaha noo I remember that:)
scrapmetal58 9
He looks far better as a girl than a guy.
heartbrakej 0
why the **** is my comment thumbed down when this is thumbed up? same ******* comment.
dyble95 0
why the **** do you give a ****?
Pinkkmissymoo 7
^ haa that's what I'm sayinn.
dbt88 15
6/28- first thing I thought of when I read the original post (#6) ... so unfortunately, you're not alone
Big_Red_138 3
*insert witty comment here that gets a ton of likes* I seem to be at a loss as to what to say. I'm ashamed..
criminalmind 10
This shit won't fly. No go sit in a corner, and think about what you just did.
DKjazz 20
[insert penis here]
eminemchick 19
82 u made my dayXD
TheRealHouse 7
Insert comment about inserting a comment here
bluetorpedo 0
your plan does not seemed to have worked troll
kiran_fml 5
this isn't YouTube 7, that doesn't work here
CoffeeZ 0
That could be every over-emotional 16 year old girl i've ever met. :)
thwei 0
it took her 16 years to figure out that those aren't trees anymore? where's the parenting?
mismonroe 0
She obviously still has not figured it out.
DjeePee 25
Oh my god, they killed Kenny! The ba...oh no, it's just a tree.
DKjazz 20
Really though, it's a pole. Actually, no, it's a horse. Ah, but really it's a broom.
WYITO 0
To be honest with you DKJazz...I'm surpwised.