Today, my daughter asked why there was an X marked on a telephone pole. I told her it meant that they were going to remove it. She started crying and saying, "They can't kill the tree!" She's 16. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML
Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML
Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML
Today, I woke up and found that the tree in my front yard was gone. FML
Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML
Today, my family and I were decorating the Christmas tree. It seemed a bit unstable, but we decorated it without any problems. Later, while my daughter sat by the tree, it began to fall. Her grandmother stopped the tree from hitting her. I, on the other hand, screamed like a little girl. I'm a 38 year-old guy. FML
Today, my daughter asked me to join the Army so that she wouldn't have to see me anymore. She's four. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school. They found her on the roof, threatening to kill herself. I had to pretend to sound scared and sad over the phone, but in reality, the only emotion I could feel was extreme joy. FML
Today, my boss sent me to remove a tree from a client's home. So I went and cut down the tree, only for my boss to show up an hour later, speechless. I was supposed to remove a sapling that had sprouted through the driveway tarmac, not the 100-year-old prizewinning Japanese cherry tree. FML
Today, it has been 8 months since I started a photography project in which I would take a picture of the same tree every day for a year. I just heard a noise outside. They cut the tree down. FML
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Top comments
lol_ironic_life 9
Parent-"That poor tree has been in tree heaven for a while dear."
chrstygrl06 10
LEAVE THE TREE ALONE!!
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Comments (124)
ambowew 7
Next thing you know she'll be attacking the pole with a spade trying to find treasure. She's that intelligent.
TalkinSmack 6
she is so smart, S-M-R-T
robbiboyo 0
coolest chick on the planet? how so?
TalkinSmack 6
if u knew me, u'd know :D
shelby0123 0
hahaha
nixter5 18
what were you doing stalking her profile anyway Mr. Mustache?
ImTotallyAsian 0
I like trees for some reason to!
chelseaaababyyy 17
i think you missed the whole point of the fml. lol
ImTotallyAsian 0
My cousin said that.
IWarnedYou 0
too*
fuzz97 23
This is off-topic, but why do all Asians go out of their way to let everyone know that they're Asian (hence the username "ImTotallyAsian"?)? No one gives a shit, shut up.
porterc16 0
that heart broken son of a bitch
AnthonyWalsh94 0
FYL and F your spelling
sweetpea9008 2
Her spelling? Really! There is nothing wrong with it!
Dmoney15 0
telephone pole*
pctech3 0
Utility pole
EmyB_fml 8
oh god that's just sad that she can't even tell the difference in between a tree and a pole
TheBeatlesAreLov 0
Well, her mother can't tell the difference between a telegraph pole and a telephone pole. It must run in the family.
houmboy 0
you do know that telephone poles are made from trees
knocking 0
I guess you forgot to teach her about that. Parenting/school fail.
laundryninja 1
TREE HUGGER!!!!
xoxo_cherri_xoxo 6
I believe that would make her a pole hugger...........
cicpjaky 6
we're the kids in America!!!!
Xathanos 16
It is from Australia not America
tweetbaby14 18
you're in America and you posted a stupid/ unrelated song? get the **** out. we need no more of your kind perpetuating the "stupid American" stereotype....
cicpjaky 6
oh I didn't see that part. personal fail
applesuckers 0
lmao wow.