Cute and Kids: Today, my daughter asked why there was an X marked on a telephone...

By anon - 09/07/2011 04:48 - Australia

Today, my daughter asked why there was an X marked on a telephone pole. I told her it meant that they were going to remove it. She started crying and saying, "They can't kill the tree!" She's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 210

You deserved it 7 411

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 14:38 - United States - Seattle

Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 386

You deserved it 4 439

By ulisha5 - 02/08/2013 21:54 - Bulgaria - Burgas

Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 588

You deserved it 4 357

By Anonymous - 28/01/2014 21:57 - Bahrain - Manama

Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 708

You deserved it 5 756

By Anonymous - 30/10/2010 05:07 - New Zealand

Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 802

You deserved it 12 119

By wjones - 15/12/2009 15:06 - United States

Today, my family and I were decorating the Christmas tree. It seemed a bit unstable, but we decorated it without any problems. Later, while my daughter sat by the tree, it began to fall. Her grandmother stopped the tree from hitting her. I, on the other hand, screamed like a little girl. I'm a 38 year old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 514

You deserved it 33 761

By Anonymous - 20/08/2019 00:01

Today, my daughter asked me to join the Army so that she wouldn't have to see me anymore. She's four. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 783

You deserved it 230

Love and hate

By bad mom? lol - 22/04/2022 06:00

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school. They found her on the roof, threatening to kill herself. I had to pretend to sound scared and sad over the phone, but in reality, the only emotion I could feel was extreme joy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 246

You deserved it 1 757

Misunderstanding

By Anonymous - 11/11/2019 03:00

Today, my boss sent me to remove a tree from a client's home. So I went and cut down the tree, only for my boss to show up an hour later, speechless. I was supposed to remove a sapling that had sprouted through the driveway tarmac, not the 100-year-old prizewinning Japanese cherry tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 360

You deserved it 3 447

RIP

By A girl - 27/06/2011 07:55 - Netherlands

Today, it has been 8 months since I started a photography project in which I would take a picture of the same tree every day for a year. I just heard a noise outside. They cut the tree down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 798

You deserved it 4 555

Kids say the funniest things

By embarrassedmom - 18/05/2009 01:19 - United States

Today, my 6 year-old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair whose leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?" He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 543

You deserved it 25 959

lol_ironic_life 9

Saturday 9 July 2011 12:06

Parent-"That poor tree has been in tree heaven for a while dear."

chrstygrl06 10

Saturday 9 July 2011 12:09

LEAVE THE TREE ALONE!!

Comments

ambowew 7

Saturday 9 July 2011 12:14

Next thing you know she'll be attacking the pole with a spade trying to find treasure. She's that intelligent.

TalkinSmack 6

Saturday 9 July 2011 12:15

she is so smart, S-M-R-T

robbiboyo 0

Saturday 9 July 2011 12:26

coolest chick on the planet? how so?

TalkinSmack 6

Saturday 9 July 2011 13:01

if u knew me, u'd know :D

shelby0123 0

Saturday 9 July 2011 13:53

hahaha

nixter5 18

Saturday 9 July 2011 15:22

what were you doing stalking her profile anyway Mr. Mustache?

ImTotallyAsian 0

Saturday 9 July 2011 12:16

I like trees for some reason to!

chelseaaababyyy 17

Saturday 9 July 2011 19:04

i think you missed the whole point of the fml. lol

ImTotallyAsian 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 4:50

My cousin said that.

IWarnedYou 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 7:37

too*

fuzz97 23

Sunday 10 July 2011 12:58

This is off-topic, but why do all Asians go out of their way to let everyone know that they're Asian (hence the username "ImTotallyAsian"?)? No one gives a shit, shut up.

porterc16 0

Saturday 9 July 2011 12:17

that heart broken son of a bitch

AnthonyWalsh94 0

Saturday 9 July 2011 12:19

FYL and F your spelling

sweetpea9008 2

Monday 7 November 2011 4:04

Her spelling? Really! There is nothing wrong with it!

Dmoney15 0

Saturday 9 July 2011 12:20

telephone pole*

pctech3 0

Saturday 9 July 2011 18:47

Utility pole

EmyB_fml 8

Saturday 9 July 2011 12:20

oh god that's just sad that she can't even tell the difference in between a tree and a pole

TheBeatlesAreLov 0

Saturday 9 July 2011 14:48

Well, her mother can't tell the difference between a telegraph pole and a telephone pole. It must run in the family.

houmboy 0

Saturday 9 July 2011 16:42

you do know that telephone poles are made from trees

knocking 0

Saturday 9 July 2011 12:22

I guess you forgot to teach her about that. Parenting/school fail.

laundryninja 1

Saturday 9 July 2011 12:33

TREE HUGGER!!!!

xoxo_cherri_xoxo 6

Sunday 10 July 2011 20:29

I believe that would make her a pole hugger...........

cicpjaky 6

Saturday 9 July 2011 12:36

we're the kids in America!!!!

Xathanos 16

Saturday 9 July 2011 14:40

It is from Australia not America

tweetbaby14 18

Saturday 9 July 2011 16:21

you're in America and you posted a stupid/ unrelated song? get the **** out. we need no more of your kind perpetuating the "stupid American" stereotype....