Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML
Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML
Today, while climbing a mountain, I got to the top and then put both of my arms up in a victory kind of way only to trip on a rock and fall into a cactus plant. FML
Today, I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid hitting a lizard. I ended up sliding into a bush and skinning myself, only to find my tires had still managed to cut the lizard to pieces. FML
Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML
Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML
Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML
Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML
Today, I was taking a hike through the Appalachians. I lost my balance in a steep area, and grabbed for a root along the trail above me. It turned to not be a root, but a large, angry snake. FML
Today, I had my first real break from work in ages, so I decided to go hiking. Less than 20 minutes in, I tumbled a couple hundred feet down a steep hill, broke my leg and several toes, and lay there in agony for an eternity before I was finally rescued. FML
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Top comments
Blazingcrono 6
I'm a bit confused on why you just didn't take the needles out by hand. Sure, it's slower and a bit more painful, but at this point, it really doesn't matter how much pain you're going to get.
HeavyMetalViking 0
Duct tape to remove cactus thorns? What a rip off.
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Comments (104)
Ali_Br_fml 33
Damn, that sucks monkey balls. Hey, at least you don't have to shave... your legs...
Uncle_Moe_Lester 3
he's a dude
Ali_Br_fml 33
I know a guy who says he shaves his legs for his girl... Weird, but his choice...
Rykier 0
...so he's gay? I think don't think he does it for the woman. I've yet to come across a girl who preferred shaved legs on a guy, or a guy willing to do it. Be careful with him. One day you could walk in on him and a guy name Pajulio clubbing each other to Yani's greatest hits.
shannonreneee 11
I wouldn't say he's gay, some girls might not like hairy legs. I know this wasn't mentioned but some guys shave for athletic reasons. Don't make assumptions without proper evidence to back it up.
Rykier 0
Well lucky you. If anyone wants to know where the Black Forest disappeared to, it decided to move to my legs. Athletic reasons rarely. The only one would be for swimming, or a triathlon.
justalilrandom2 4
Cyclists also do it to stop infection when they come off their bike and get road rash. Despite what many claim it does nothing to their performance, the hair causes only negligible resistance unlike in swimming.
bawpo 2
why is a guy gay for having his legs? maybe he's on the swim team or something.
bawpo 2
shaving*
Dennisse_47 17
Well I know guys who shave there legs ad aren't gay, and I know some gay guys who don't shave there legs... so I think that basing sexuality off of shaving is just stereotypical. Some guys don't like to have all that hair there or do it for there girls or, like it has been pointed out, they do it for athletic reasons.
Exeedingmango 0
Guys. He doesn't shave his freaking legs. where the hell did you get that from? Your ass. Because he just used the duck tape to get the spikes off. He never said anything about shaving.
ipod_addict 0
Well, it was actually a pretty good idea...
ydi_4_suking 20
#50 the shaving part came from #1 where they said like a bright side to the duct tape. at least you dont have to shave your legs. so read the comments dumbass before you pull comments like that out your ass
tattortotamus 0
number 33- Your beautiful!
5t3ff1k4h 45
50 - It's DUCT tape. Not duck tape.
Tweety122888 0
In Puerto Rico guys shave their legs as if it's a normal thing to do. If you don't shave your legs you're treated as a hobo.
funnyFMLSplz 0
it's a guy. hope you're joking
hotscar 3
88, maybe he's a swimmer, and he's got a big meet coming up.
Pawned71 0
**** swimming
77taylah33 0
I think it was to rip off all the thorns
a_girl_i_know 0
using duct tape to get the needles out? That's the worst and dumbest idea you could have came up with. YDI
Rykier 0
Not really. It's like a ghetto lint-roller.
khung835 6
cactus thorns ain't lint :)
Rykier 0
Notice the word like? Meaning it's similar, but not quite the same thing. Just making sure you understood that. And before you ask, yes I do have to be so condescending.
jayAZ 3
a girl...men are not always known for brilliant ideas...hence the duct tape...of all things. Seems this OP is a bit "extreme" and lacks practicality.
5t3ff1k4h 45
47 - Maybe it's all he had on him. Use your head... it's not always a matter of practicality over impracticality.
sparta98 4
I beg to differ. The worst thing you can do is leave them in. If you've got the means to get them out, then you probably should.
bootje 5
I don't believe in a lot of things, but I do believe in duct tape!
paulinec213 3
I've seen doctors who work in the ER use duct tape to get fine cactus needs out of someone's arm...it's not a dumb idea it's just cheap...
77taylah33 0
ouch! next time take a friend=)
Blazingcrono 6
I'm a bit confused on why you just didn't take the needles out by hand. Sure, it's slower and a bit more painful, but at this point, it really doesn't matter how much pain you're going to get.
WallyTheWombat 0
Duct tape isn't that sticky in my experience. It doesn't act like a wax strip when it comes to hair unless I guess if your hair is really fine or something. But I've had my asshole friends put that stuff on my head and tear it off without really losing anything. Hurt a bit though.
laden_swallow09 35
6 - Would the word you're looking for be cacti?
holymolybro 0
I've had cactus in my ass before. I feel your pain, but I was pulling a deer out of the woods, not hiking. And since it's on your legs and arms..you could pick some of it out.
Lufferkinz 0
IN? Oh my, I feel horrible for you. .__.
GrubbsGrady 0
ouchh ^_*
LadyClarik 8
So, they have a lot of cacti in the woods then?
insanesna1l 0
it's a stretchy tape which works well to join things in emergencies as it stretches when applied
KMilliron 2
I always take duct tape with me when I go hiking. Not really, I don't hike often, but I do always bring duct tape with me when I go to band practice.