Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML
Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML
Today, while climbing a mountain, I got to the top and then put both of my arms up in a victory kind of way only to trip on a rock and fall into a cactus plant. FML
Today, I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid hitting a lizard. I ended up sliding into a bush and skinning myself, only to find my tires had still managed to cut the lizard to pieces. FML
Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML
Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML
Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML
Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML
Today, I was taking a hike through the Appalachians. I lost my balance in a steep area, and grabbed for a root along the trail above me. It turned to not be a root, but a large, angry snake. FML
Today, I had my first real break from work in ages, so I decided to go hiking. Less than 20 minutes in, I tumbled a couple hundred feet down a steep hill, broke my leg and several toes, and lay there in agony for an eternity before I was finally rescued. FML
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Top comments
Blazingcrono 6
I'm a bit confused on why you just didn't take the needles out by hand. Sure, it's slower and a bit more painful, but at this point, it really doesn't matter how much pain you're going to get.
HeavyMetalViking 0
Duct tape to remove cactus thorns? What a rip off.
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Comments (104)
Tweety122888 0
Tweezers?
ashole1990 10
Shit. Better drink your own piss.
lizbiz5694 4
use wax. like leg hair waxing stuff. it works every time!
dansco 25
Are you stupid? Yes, using duct tape to remove cactus thorns! This proves you shouldn't be allowed out with out your carer ;)
Cheesehead72 0
ydi for going hiking.
8r4d1ey 0
this is the Internet ppl, not a English paper, those of you who grammar Nazi ppl have lost sight of what this site is about, to be entertained. If you want to correct ppls writing become an English teacher, then you can make yourself feel smart by correct peoples grammar all day. and I also think a site as unique and cool as this shouldn't be taking away ppls freedom of speech by moderating everything, I know it's quality control, but come on it's the Internet.
69_jackson_69 0
Aaaaand you typed this how?
whatscaresu 0
i once saw the show "untold stories of the ER" you get them off by waxing it takes them all out
jupiter80 0
89- me too! I like duck tape better tho
JeterArmy 0
boohoo ul live