Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML
Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML
Today, while climbing a mountain, I got to the top and then put both of my arms up in a victory kind of way only to trip on a rock and fall into a cactus plant. FML
Today, I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid hitting a lizard. I ended up sliding into a bush and skinning myself, only to find my tires had still managed to cut the lizard to pieces. FML
Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML
Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML
Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML
Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML
Today, I was taking a hike through the Appalachians. I lost my balance in a steep area, and grabbed for a root along the trail above me. It turned to not be a root, but a large, angry snake. FML
Today, I had my first real break from work in ages, so I decided to go hiking. Less than 20 minutes in, I tumbled a couple hundred feet down a steep hill, broke my leg and several toes, and lay there in agony for an eternity before I was finally rescued. FML
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Top comments
Blazingcrono 6
I'm a bit confused on why you just didn't take the needles out by hand. Sure, it's slower and a bit more painful, but at this point, it really doesn't matter how much pain you're going to get.
HeavyMetalViking 0
Duct tape to remove cactus thorns? What a rip off.
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Comments (104)
rrawrrrachel 0
bhaha. eww. why not just pull the pinchy things out?
khaya 9
That must have stung.
breakofdawn1 0
Grammar Nazi watch out!!!!
awardZu 0
I got slapped by a prickley pear once. The needles went straight through my boots and into my ankle... Hurt like hell!
awardZu 0
*prickly
Quest07734 7
I think the thorns are very small, a strong adhesive tape will work better than fingers in an emergency when your far away from help.
yorky_fml 0
how bout you try livin in alaska during the winter when driving can just turn into a life or death situation! but yeah fyl!
eftup 9
huh? I don't get it...
briidontgive_ 0
Lmao at the comments. Ouchhhh op , you shoulda realized it wasn't working by the time u got down to your legs
DavLynn 4
we all know what he meant, no need to correct him..
anew400 0
YDI for hiking alone