By Ken - 10/05/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom - Swindon
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If you haven't explained things clearly by the time he's 13 you're way behind the boat and doing him a disservice, since he's already likely in puberty. Also, don't use a lot of euphemisms and all that. Explain it clearly to him, using the proper language and without shame or embarrassment and the minimum of awkwardness you can manage. You want him to have accurate knowledge about sex and his body, and you want him to actually be able to come to you with questions and not google. (I mean, if he learns about sex from google he's likely gonna get a really fucked up view of it, given the amount of bullshit and porn out there.)
13 seems a little bit late to me tbh, but then again I don't have kids. Just going to be honest that even when the internet was new, I can tell you what I googled at that age... so... with everything on it now, this seems like a bit of a 'after the horses have left the barn' situation. Also, agreed with the user who said don't use euphemisms. If you want, buy a book on sex/puberty like my parents did with me, and then go through it together but let them also read it on their own and come to you with questions. Don't be embarrassed, don't use 'cutesy' names for things, just be factual. The more honest you are the less likely they're going to go to other less reliable sources for information. Also for the love of christ, please teach your boys about girls and vice versa. The number of grown men who don't understand periods or even where we pee out of is too damn high.
I would not sugar coat it. It is sex. Now, everyone let's say it together, "Sex. Sex. Sex. Penis. Penis. Penis. Vagina. Vagina. Vagina." We are way beyond the point as a society? That it is, "The Birds and the Bees." I am sure your pre-teen? Already knows way more than they are letting on. Social Media, YouTube, some sort of device in their hand? All day. Every day.
How can you expect him to be mature about it and take the conversation seriously if you're not even willing to use accurate terminology in front of him? If you feel you need to discuss reproductive health, protective methods and contraception with him; explain to him that you need to discuss reproductive health, protective methods and contraception with him.