Today, my sister announced that she had gotten engaged. I was happy for her until I found out she's marrying the guy who relentlessly bullied me all through high school. FML

by Username / 07/29/2011 at 5:35pm / Netherlands (Flevoland) / Love

Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML

by Tallulah / 07/29/2011 at 2:56am / United Kingdom (Croydon) / Love

Today, I went to a jeweler's to buy a ring to propose to my girlfriend. When I was at the restaurant, in mid-proposal, with people watching, I realized I had left the ring in the store. FML

by failure / 07/29/2011 at 2:19am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went out to go meet up with a guy. I walked all the way to his house just to see him. Then he made me hide behind a bush till his girlfriend left. FML

by googlefreak54321 / 07/25/2011 at 2:05am / United States (Mississippi) / Love

Today, I saw a facebook status that said, 'Wedding today. Ugly people belong together.' I'm getting married today. FML

by ugly / 07/24/2011 at 10:53pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I went out for coffee with my sister and my crush. I spent the majority of the date flirting with my crush, and when he dropped us off at home, I told him I had fun on our date. He looked at me surprised and said he'd thought I'd tagged along on his date with my sister. FML

by Lonely / 07/24/2011 at 1:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I bumped into my ex-boyfriend I still love, and his new girlfriend, who he cheated on me with. Embarrassingly, she was wearing the same top as me. However hers was in size 6, unlike my 16. FML

by oouchh / 07/24/2011 at 8:22am / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Love

Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML

by assante2010 / 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm / United States (Maine) / Love

Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2011 at 7:53pm / United States / Love

Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML

by mathii / 07/23/2011 at 7:52pm / Love

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I put 7 kisses at the end of a text instead of 10. She said that our relationship was bound to fail if "I can't remember important things like that". FML

by Baconcook3000 / 07/23/2011 at 7:00am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Love

Today, I realized that the guy I've been sending anonymous, dirty emails to knows who I am. My signature, which includes my full name, was automatically added to the end of every email. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2011 at 9:10pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I asked the girl I like to send me 'yummy pictures.' I got a picture of cheesecake. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2011 at 2:29am / United States (Texas) / Love