Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2012 at 3:08pm / United Arab Emirates / Kids

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm / India / Kids

Today, I arrived home. I'd left for a business trip 5 days earlier, and trusted my husband with our young boys. As soon as I stepped in the door, I noticed my son had thinner hair than when I'd left. He then showed me an empty container of Nair. FML

by ProudMama / 01/07/2012 at 7:50pm / United States (Nebraska) / Kids

Today, I tried to discipline my two year old son. Whenever I do this, he starts pointing and imitating me, and I can't help but laugh. This explains why he never listens to me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/07/2012 at 12:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my daughter brought her new boyfriend over for dinner. I realize now why she said we would get along great: we graduated high school together. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 8:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2011 at 1:21am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, my 9 month old son realized he is just as tired as I am. His solution is to cry loudly. My solution was to cry along with him. FML

by anonymous / 12/28/2011 at 3:14am / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2011 at 10:53am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, we found out where our daughter had been hiding her crayons. We also found out why our stereo stopped working. FML

by Peter / 12/26/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2011 at 4:55am / United States / Kids

Today, with the cost of craft supplies that ended in a DIY fail, then a costume and overnight shipping, I have now spent $90 to obtain a $10 hat and vest for my daughter to play a cow in the school Christmas play. She will say "Moo" three times with 5 other cows before leaving the stage. FML

by Broke Mama / 12/24/2011 at 9:38am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I found out that my estranged daughter has been married for five years. I wasn't told of or invited to their wedding, and the only reason I know now is because she needs money for a divorce lawyer. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2011 at 3:46pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2011 at 1:23pm / United States (Washington) / Kids