Today, I had to explain to my incredibly sheltered 15-year-old brother that no, you don't wear condoms on your balls, and that they don't work by squeezing your balls so the sperm are blocked from coming out when you ejaculate. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML
Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my pads were not in fact "big band-aids" and that he should probably remove them from his legs. FML
Today, as a millennial, I had to explain to a baby boomer why he needs to use condoms when having sex with his 25-year-old girlfriend. FML
Today, my 17 year-old brother asked me if I used birth control. When I told him I did, he responded, "Isn't that like using an inhalor when you don't have asthma?" FML
Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother that spooning has nothing to do with using a spoon to clean out a woman's vagina after sex. FML
Today, my little brother, who is 11, explained to me how babies are made. I’m 15. FML
Today, I had to convince my nine year-old brother to stop using my biology textbook as a masturbatory aid so I could actually get some studying done. FML
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML
Today, my younger brother, who is 15, had to show me the quickest way to take off a woman's bra. I'm 12 years older than he is. FML
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Top comments
cutycat136 28
You should tell him that he must get more knowledge on subjects like that before he even considers using one of those for the first time op.
haileyrows 26
Did he get sex ed in Texas or something?
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Comments (88)
_awwhellnaw_ 45
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Makes me wonder about the quality of sex ed he received...
Hunkapoo 19
I think the fml answers that...
karigaskarth 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
At least now he knows?
connorgrant98 24
He's got a long way to go.
wizardcorn04 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I guess you could say that he's really "condumb"... No? Okay...
cutycat136 28
There's always that one person on here isn't there..
MRSwick2525 23
Definitely more then one of those on here!!
bulletsinthewind 21
All you people that try to make jokes and puns in the comments need to understand that this is not a joke app. Sometimes the FML posts are funny, but this still is not a joke app.
goozeo 11
No need to be so uptight about it yo. Sometimes the shitty comments are funny too
wizardcorn04 14
#4, I dont understand your comment, could you explain with a bit more punctuation? thanks
bingalingading 12
#58 is probably loads of fun at parties
tackblog 14
You do realise that this app exists so we can make light out of others misfortunes?
connorgrant98 24
Not gonna lie, it was kinda funny.
extremereviews 26
Your parents are doing more harm than good sheltering him that much
NicoleP1993 29
@5 exactly. This is why teenagers come up with ideas like you can't get pregnant the first time and that the pull-out method is safe. No wonder teen pregnancy is such a problem in some places. I'm just glad that almost all the schools here have mandatory sex ed, just in case parents suck at informing their kids.
LosinIt2008 14
agreed. there's a certain amount of truth one NEED to know before vetting out in the world!! the parents need to educate him more!
Candied_person 13
Took the words right out of my head
CoGhostRider 31
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
No I wonder j have 34 kids!
wchil 14
what?
Kazze 31
J's a pimp, isn't he?
cutycat136 28
You should tell him that he must get more knowledge on subjects like that before he even considers using one of those for the first time op.
haileyrows 26
Did he get sex ed in Texas or something?
meganhoffmann13 20
Really bitch.
RabbitOfAurora 28
#8 This made me snort xD
ThatHorse 15
Not even Texas would teach that. Texas sex ed is teaches that condoms and sex invoke the wrath of the deities and that you and your entire family will die if you have sex.
TXFernwoods 26
When I got sex Ed (I've lived in Texas since I was 3), we actually were not taught about condoms, but we were taught about abstinence, the penis, the ****** (only the inside), STD's, & not to do anal. That's really about it. Then at the end of the year, we watched the miracle of life video and that was that.
JustinJK 21
^that's horrible. It's a shame that these kids are so I'll prepared.
RWBYRose 21
I'm from Ohio, I went to a catholic school though, and that's all they taught us too.
ThatHorse 15
y'all are lucky. my sex ed was "this is a condom. If you use it you will die of std's. if you don't you will die of pregnancy"
katachristic 19
I went to a public school in Texas and they actually gave us an hour presentation specifically on condoms and spent over ten minutes of it demonstrating how to put one on (on a dummy). I understand that Texas has a lot of religious overtones, but I never understood where people get the idea that we don't know how basic medicine works.
Abe_er_um 12
To be honest #51, I think a lot of the United States think you guys down in Texas are a bunch of cowboys hanging around in Saloons all day shooting guns at the strike of noon, frankly, blame the western movies
suchwow101 4
Damn, now I know it truly is bullshit. They'd say that every time you have sex with a different person that you'd probably die if you're not tested first, or you'll basically be screwed.
suchwow101 4
Now I know it truly is bullshit. They make it sound like if you're not tested every before you have sex with a different person, that there's a 99% chance that you'll get a disease. lmao
suchwow101 4
Apologies, the first comment didn't show up on mobile, now I know.
euphoricness 28
If that were actually the case then all we would need are rubber bands. Much cheaper!
CaptainCrow 13
I don't even know what to think about this
Cads1 24
Parental fail!
laurellkawes 31
Same thing I was thinking!!!