Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, it was the first time my boyfriend had seen me naked. He grabs my breasts and then begins to sing "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts." He is 22. FML

#7152531
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18983) - you deserved it (5319)

On 01/04/2010 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by ambermcnulty - Sent from mobile version

Today, I noticed the woman I've been sleeping with for over 2 years never lets me see her naked during sex. I confronted her about it and she replied, "I don't care if you see me naked. I was just leaving the lights off the whole time so I don't have to see you naked." FML

#7147698
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23404) - you deserved it (4239)

On 01/04/2010 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by audied (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. We decided to have sex in her basement. All awesome, until her mom walked down and wanted to watch a movie with us. I had to watch it naked under a blanket. FML

#7144399
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19680) - you deserved it (7083)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up with bruised nipples because apparently my boyfriend likes to excessively play with them while I sleep. FML

#7142367
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21974) - you deserved it (3589)

On 01/04/2010 at 6:30am - intimacy - by sore - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up to realize that the guy who took my virginity last night also took my flat screen TV. FML

#7135131
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24939) - you deserved it (8844)

On 01/03/2010 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by december2009 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was on Facebook when I saw a link about what Pokémon would look like if they had genitals. I'm not quite sure why, but I decided to click it, and at that exact moment, my brother and his friend walked in. They told my mom I was looking at Pokémon porn. I'll never be able to live this down. FML

#7124750
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9806) - you deserved it (24220)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:40am - intimacy - by grounded (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I changed my 2009 new year's resolution to lose my virginity to my 2010 new year's resolution. FML

#7119035
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19580) - you deserved it (5229)

On 01/03/2010 at 2:41am - intimacy - by stillavirgin (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML

#7103723
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22777) - you deserved it (3493)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by xxxzzzooo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was trying to be dirty with my fiancé. He got really into the roleplaying and wouldn't stop pretending to be a cop for hours. Mood officially killed. FML

#7103612
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17907) - you deserved it (4013)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by uhhggggg - Sent from mobile version

Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML

#7100685
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20506) - you deserved it (6858)

On 01/02/2010 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Lonely (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend called my cell. I picked up and said "Hi, this is Lisa and I want you to fuck me raw". It was my dad. He was at my boyfriend's parent's house and forgot his phone. FML

#7097610
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9557) - you deserved it (32653)

On 01/02/2010 at 2:02am - intimacy - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML

#7084392
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28598) - you deserved it (3665)

On 01/01/2010 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by Lovergirl (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my girlfriend told me it was her fantasy to orgasm at midnight on New Years. We got started at 11:53. I didn't last until midnight. FML

#7080938
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13350) - you deserved it (20527)

On 01/01/2010 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by FavreFan99 (man) - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: