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2day I got a call from very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking 4 permission to have sex with a ( gross fat chick ) he met at a pub, cuz he ( felt sorry 4 her ). The conversation ended with me getting hung up on cuz I ( don't have a heret ). real FML

#21232277
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48572) - you deserved it (4560)

On 08/08/2014 at 2:05am - intimacy - by pocketrocket90 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today , one of ma customer's pipes were blocked. As I went to unblock it , about a andful of used condoms collided wit ma face. I don't know if I sould be disgusted by tis or disgusted by ma customer. mega FML

#21231545
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44678) - you deserved it (3860)

On 08/07/2014 at 5:09am - intimacy - by failallday (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Taday since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said its like having sex with a hot doughnut. mega FML

#21230044
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48300) - you deserved it (8103)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by donutsex (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out tat my wife of 12 years as slept wit te workmen we've ad working on our long term building project!! Tey call er te ( quickie queen )!! mega FML

#21226819
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54743) - you deserved it (3684)

On 08/01/2014 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

TADAY MY USBAND TOUGT IT WOULD BE ROMANTIC TO PICK ME UP AN FALL ON TE BED WIT ME WILE WE WERE KISSING. OUR FACES SMASED TOGETER AS WE IT TE BED, AN MY TONGUE IS STILL BLEEDING ON AN OFF. FML

#21224768
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44972) - you deserved it (5366)

On 07/30/2014 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by WasntWorthIt - United States (New Hampshire)

TODAY, I LISTENED TO BEST FRIEND DESCRIBE AVING SEX WIT ER BOYFRIEND IN EXPLICIT DETAIL. TIS WOULD AVE BEEN FINE, BUT ER BOYFRIEND IS LITTLE BROTER. FML

#21222459
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52056) - you deserved it (5008)

On 07/27/2014 at 9:55pm - intimacy - by why - United States

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." real FML

#21218442
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51289) - you deserved it (11847)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, ma boyfriend said we can't ave sex wit te ligt on anymore. He said e can never finis cuz te face I makeen I orgasm makes im laug. FML

#21216984
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39559) - you deserved it (25438)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:55am - intimacy - by teegtwo (woman) - United States

Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises!! I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this!! FML

#21209385
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51620) - you deserved it (6429)

On 07/14/2014 at 11:25pm - intimacy - by thedoc (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, me an my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home . My phone started vibrating half-way through, an when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered . It wasn't a phone call . It was a face time . Busted . FML

#21208909
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31803) - you deserved it (49140)

On 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Ob3nie - United States (California)

Today, I decidd to try something new with my boyfriend, an sextd him. My text endd up sounding so stupid that I panickd an quickly sent another saying ( SORRY WRONG PERSON ). FML

2day my boyfriend and I were about to make love fir the first time. The moment my bra came off, he startd hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much fir that. FML

#21208053
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50192) - you deserved it (5354)

On 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

I asked my boyfriend if e could finally go down on me . He said.. . "No.. . tat's disgusting" an ten asked me 4 a blowjob . mega FML

#21207695
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58356) - you deserved it (7240)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)



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