Today, a girl I'd been talking to all night actually wanted to come home with me. Stopped to buy condoms. Got home, clothes came off, took out a condom. "Sorry, I'm allergic to latex". She left in a cab. I'm a 27-year old virgin for another night and now have a box of condoms to remind me. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML
Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my long time boyfriend and found out I'm severely allergic to latex. I also found out that my family doctor had been transferred to the ER. He went to play golf with my dad later. FML
Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML
Today, I met a guy at a bar. Went home, got condoms, had sex. Also got Covid. First one night stand in four years. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, asked me over late at night. When I got there, she turned me around and kicked me out, because she "wasn’t feeling it." I’m 29 and still a virgin. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
Today, a girl I like was taking her phone out of her pocket and two condoms fell out. Last week I'd tried hooking up with her and she'd said that she only has sex with a man who is her boyfriend. So I said, “Oh, new boyfriend, huh?” She said, “Nah it’s for hookups, gotta be prepared!” I guess she forgot she lied to me. FML
Today, I was going to have my first overnight with the guy I’ve been seeing. Upon learning I'd packed my own condoms, he told me it was vulgar, unladylike, and suspicious that I had them. When I pointed out that he had condoms, he said, “Well yeah I’m a guy. I’m supposed to have those.” FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
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Top comments
danceinconverse 25
At least you're not a 27 year old baby daddy or a 27 year old with an STD.
Tripartita 45
They'll protect you from pregnancy and diseases, but one thing condoms cannot protect are your feelings. :'(
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Comments (120)
danceinconverse 25
At least you're not a 27 year old baby daddy or a 27 year old with an STD.
couchcat 25
Really? You're sure? I mean, that seems like a fair trade. (sarcasm guys seriously I'm not an idiot)
higgysaurus 18
#70 you really didnt need to hit enter that many times.
crandel 11
I don't think being a 27 year old father is worse; 27 is around the average age to have kids.
danceinconverse 25
Yeah, but even if you're at the right age, dealing with getting a one night stand pregnant is never fun.
derangedplanet 23
I think there's a difference between a 27 yr old baby daddy and a 27 yr old father..
coried91 28
Well now you know to keep latex free on hand as well! Sorry your love life sucks OP. You'll get laid one day!
scyth3s 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
But only one day, and probably never again. :/
SystemofaBlink41 27
Damn, Mr. Sunshine.
SweetPsycho 13
#53 wow, way to mean don't you think?
david66_fml 20
I'm sorry that sucks op. Just look at it as that box of condoms you'll use tomorrow night!
oiler 21
closer than most guys get. Also I believe there are other "types" of condoms. FYL
bapbap_fml 15
I think by 27 the vast majority of guys have actually gotten much further than OP...
Ononised 11
Sounds like she chickened out. At least now you won't have to stop next time!
LilMissCanadian 22
I'm pretty sure she was allergic to latex...
iiTzNeeNerz 26
I'm pretty sure she could have said something at some point when he stopped to buy them. If I really wanted to have sex with him I would made sure to let him know that I'm allergic to certain condoms. It's not that hard. I'm not dismissing her allergy but this situation could have been avoided.
the_real_dvd 21
I'm pretty certain she chickened out too. Plus, most sexually active women that I know keep an "emergency condom" with them when they're going out. Better to have and not need than to need and not have.
cheshireau 26
Sounds like a prick tease to me.
xx000o 27
Sometimes no sex is the best sex.
derangedplanet 23
I'm allergic to latex. I wouldn't risk that shit. if I was going out like that(I'm not I'm married) I would have one on me. because I don't know if I'd be willing to stop and I'd know I'd hate myself a hell of of a lot for not)
Thoricsteam20 24
That sucks OP, well you better keep them just in case.
thebeast2349 6
Optimism is key
BWARD51 12
Should have said "I got mad pull out game".
Tripartita 45
Then OP might've learned about her allergy to inanity too.
coried91 28
Some people are severely allergic to latex. You can pretty much be allergic to anything.
zeffra13 31
She didn't say anything when you stopped to buy condoms? Or when you put the box in the car, or brought it inside? She had to have known what you bought. If she wanted to have sex but was allergic to latex, and wouldn't have sex without using a condom, she should carry her own because non-latex isn't easy to find. She also (most likely) wouldn't have waited until the last second to tell you like that.