Today, a girl I'd been talking to all night actually wanted to come home with me. Stopped to buy condoms. Got home, clothes came off, took out a condom. "Sorry, I'm allergic to latex". She left in a cab. I'm a 27-year old virgin for another night and now have a box of condoms to remind me. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML
Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my long time boyfriend and found out I'm severely allergic to latex. I also found out that my family doctor had been transferred to the ER. He went to play golf with my dad later. FML
Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML
Today, I met a guy at a bar. Went home, got condoms, had sex. Also got Covid. First one night stand in four years. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, asked me over late at night. When I got there, she turned me around and kicked me out, because she "wasn’t feeling it." I’m 29 and still a virgin. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
Today, a girl I like was taking her phone out of her pocket and two condoms fell out. Last week I'd tried hooking up with her and she'd said that she only has sex with a man who is her boyfriend. So I said, “Oh, new boyfriend, huh?” She said, “Nah it’s for hookups, gotta be prepared!” I guess she forgot she lied to me. FML
Today, I was going to have my first overnight with the guy I’ve been seeing. Upon learning I'd packed my own condoms, he told me it was vulgar, unladylike, and suspicious that I had them. When I pointed out that he had condoms, he said, “Well yeah I’m a guy. I’m supposed to have those.” FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
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Top comments
danceinconverse 25
At least you're not a 27 year old baby daddy or a 27 year old with an STD.
Tripartita 45
They'll protect you from pregnancy and diseases, but one thing condoms cannot protect are your feelings. :'(
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Comments (120)
Tripartita 45
They'll protect you from pregnancy and diseases, but one thing condoms cannot protect are your feelings. :'(
ethanc12 16
I swear you get top comment everyday
getfokinrektm8 9
actually condoms dont always protect you from pregnancy or diseases
Abhimanyu 14
one ticket to feeladelphia :"(
UserError94 18
However they do make you feel less ;)
vikky538 29
This is the best comment about condoms so far.
Nikkibuh 11
Socks don't protect my feelings!
delfino1604 24
I've been there. I now have lamb skin and regular
WD_Stevens 22
What about vegans?
lysx84 24
Vegans can figure it out themselves - they shouldn't make their lifestyle choice everyone else's problem. Allergies are different.
allplayedout 20
Just FYI, lambskin only prevents pregnancy, not stds.
dyslexicsuntie 6
Polyisoprene.
False_Stupidity 42
Just use a ziplock sandwich bag.
Elban 20
A bread bag even comes with its own twisty tie. Size issues aren't a problem then either
Sannekee 18
She should've told you about her allergies when you were buying the condoms. After all, she was coming home WITH you and probably were in the store together, or at least close to each other. I would think she had plenty of opportunities to inform you about that particular peeve of intel....
donuts678 25
"Allergic to latex"
mettaton 9
Its a real thing. My sister has a life threatening allergy to latex. If she's in a room with a single balloon she could either die or be sent to the hospital.
scyth3s 13
I don't doubt your sister, but op's girl was not allergic to latex. She got cold feet. Better cold feet than buyer's remorse.
donuts678 25
I was not saying it doesn't exist, I just doubt she actually had
Sasuke42 5
Lifestyle's skin are latex free. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.
mastersmithson 13
tbh she should have said...
Baron_Kaz 15
There are non-latex condoms available. And there is vaginal gel which can prevent HIV.
steam_engenius 21
Because HIV is the only STD to worry about.
Jowisee 29
What is to stop you seeing her again? If she truly has a latex allergy you can buy latex free condoms and give it another try.
cheezter 15
Next time you may wanna keep the lights off. Cause there was a serious disconnect once the clothes came off. Just sayin
loganberrybat 11
What?
ShortieRose 30
They sure can... I'm allergic to latex gloves, and the powder inside them as well. I get exema from them.