Today, a girl I'd been talking to all night actually wanted to come home with me. Stopped to buy condoms. Got home, clothes came off, took out a condom. "Sorry, I'm allergic to latex". She left in a cab. I'm a 27-year old virgin for another night and now have a box of condoms to remind me. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML
Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my long time boyfriend and found out I'm severely allergic to latex. I also found out that my family doctor had been transferred to the ER. He went to play golf with my dad later. FML
Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML
Today, I met a guy at a bar. Went home, got condoms, had sex. Also got Covid. First one night stand in four years. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, asked me over late at night. When I got there, she turned me around and kicked me out, because she "wasn’t feeling it." I’m 29 and still a virgin. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
Today, a girl I like was taking her phone out of her pocket and two condoms fell out. Last week I'd tried hooking up with her and she'd said that she only has sex with a man who is her boyfriend. So I said, “Oh, new boyfriend, huh?” She said, “Nah it’s for hookups, gotta be prepared!” I guess she forgot she lied to me. FML
Today, I was going to have my first overnight with the guy I’ve been seeing. Upon learning I'd packed my own condoms, he told me it was vulgar, unladylike, and suspicious that I had them. When I pointed out that he had condoms, he said, “Well yeah I’m a guy. I’m supposed to have those.” FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
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Top comments
danceinconverse 25
At least you're not a 27 year old baby daddy or a 27 year old with an STD.
Tripartita 45
They'll protect you from pregnancy and diseases, but one thing condoms cannot protect are your feelings. :'(
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Comments (120)
HunterI64 5
What does OP mean? I'm new here.
BRaveShields 3
#103 it means original poster
glaucogf 6
Maybe someone else broke down this to you, but I guess you just were not attractive once you took off your clothes. Because if you have condoms in your hands then you might as well not use them but it seems that you did not have the chance to offer that option. Sorry for your loss.
Shade1982 21
Seriously? Not using the condoms is your best advice?
BitterSavage 20
Ahhh, been there. I'm allergic to latex also.. but instead of leaving I just told him and we went and got some that were latex free.
bad_boyfriend 10
I used to hook up with a woman with a latex allergy. If she really wanted it to go down, she would have told you earlier or brought her own.
KazersGamers 16
You'll be a wizard in three years!
anonymouse5000 12
She's lying
Moniquey73 13
why wouldn't she tell you that she's allergic to latex knowing that that's the kind most people buy.
smarti1809 12
why didn't she tell you when you stopped to get condoms?
LenUrban 14
by any chance did she look at the size?
Timovits 5
Well, three more years and you will become a wizard!