Today, a girl I'd been talking to all night actually wanted to come home with me. Stopped to buy condoms. Got home, clothes came off, took out a condom. "Sorry, I'm allergic to latex". She left in a cab. I'm a 27-year old virgin for another night and now have a box of condoms to remind me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML
Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my long time boyfriend and found out I'm severely allergic to latex. I also found out that my family doctor had been transferred to the ER. He went to play golf with my dad later. FML
Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML
Today, I met a guy at a bar. Went home, got condoms, had sex. Also got Covid. First one night stand in four years. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, asked me over late at night. When I got there, she turned me around and kicked me out, because she "wasn’t feeling it." I’m 29 and still a virgin. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
Today, a girl I like was taking her phone out of her pocket and two condoms fell out. Last week I'd tried hooking up with her and she'd said that she only has sex with a man who is her boyfriend. So I said, “Oh, new boyfriend, huh?” She said, “Nah it’s for hookups, gotta be prepared!” I guess she forgot she lied to me. FML
Today, I was going to have my first overnight with the guy I’ve been seeing. Upon learning I'd packed my own condoms, he told me it was vulgar, unladylike, and suspicious that I had them. When I pointed out that he had condoms, he said, “Well yeah I’m a guy. I’m supposed to have those.” FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
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Top comments
danceinconverse 25
At least you're not a 27 year old baby daddy or a 27 year old with an STD.
Tripartita 45
They'll protect you from pregnancy and diseases, but one thing condoms cannot protect are your feelings. :'(
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Comments (120)
davek 36
Try the other hole.
the_real_dvd 21
Gays have been doing that for a long time and still getting AIDS.
AScooterman 12
Now that you've bought a box of condoms be sure to continue this regularly it's really none of the pharmacist's business that you're not getting any action.
leogachi 15
@63 How would the cashier know Op isn't having sex just because they aren't buying condoms? Your comment doesn't make any sense.
GhostCOB 6
I guess you can always make condom balloons.
g4self 5
It's her fault. She should be on a pill or something if she's allergic to condoms.
9a_1z 12
You mean there's a magical pill now that prevents the transferal of most known STDs and is a perfect substitute for condoms? Why haven't I found this out earlier????
alex_jaguara 33
You'll find a nice woman if you have the right attitude.Don't let yourself down.
auko 6
I'll do you
russiancat464 12
and you didnt hit it raw? ******* kill yourself honestly id just go without the condom pussy
Lars93 18
at least your first time didn't include having to do the walk of shame... ( the 2nd and 3rd time she wouldn't let me cum... ) I wish I was still a virgin so I could have a 'do over'
xjohab 3
Small dick?
jaxlud123 7
I'm sorry dude, but at least you didn't force anything on her.