Today, my friends hired a male stripper to give me a lap dance for my birthday. It was all pretty nice until he let rip one of the most nauseating farts I've ever encountered, right in my face. Hours later, I can still smell it. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, I was desperate for a fart but tried to hold it in so we weren't forced to stop halfway. Unfortunately, I accidentally let the fart escape, along with runny diarrhea, all over my husband's legs and groin. The smell caused him to vomit all over me. FML
Today, in the gym, as I bent over to pick up my weights an old man farted right in my face. The stench was appalling. To make matters worse, a girl I've fancied for ages thought it was me and reported it to the instructor. I was told to leave for "anti-social behavior." FML
Today, I took my date home for sex after quite a long dry spell. As he took off his shoes, I was hit right in the nose by the most disgusting foot odour I've ever encountered. It was so bad I forgot all about sex and threw him out. That was 3 hours ago and I can still smell it on the carpet. FML
Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML
Today, I was having hot sex with my boyfriend. Then, I felt a puff of air hit my face and a rancid smell. My dog had farted in my face. FML
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
Today, a cute guy approached me at a nightclub. I was really excited, until he drunkenly slurred, "Babe, I'd suck the farts from your asshole!" and then threw up everywhere. FML
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML
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Top comments
Articulation 12
Not exactly what you'd call a *******.
Syncronisis 11
Everyone likes guys that smell nice.
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Comments (82)
Syncronisis 11
Everyone likes guys that smell nice.
HersheySquirts 17
I would say that this situation would be the opposite of of the "axe effect."
ebonyrose2828 16
I'm lucky. I can't smell most things. So I could never smell my ex's. Did make me run to the shower every time I heard him though *shudder*
Mr_Armageddon 5
38- I believe it's called the "ass effect"
jazzy_123 20
girl, those brows......
b00kn3rd 14
Girl...that cattiness....
the_real_dvd 21
This is one of the rare instances when a girl doesn't look ignorant for claiming she smelled a guys colon.
cactusprick 19
aw darn he blew it for you OP ;) sorry about that :(
Articulation 12
Not exactly what you'd call a *******.
pizzzah 9
i guess you can say he blew you away ;)
joeyl2008 29
Mmmmmm beans...
noobienick 19
Note to self: don't eat burrito before giving a lap dance
aubama_fml 15
The "Magic Mike" effect blown away by a fart
Just2cute2 7
Would be even funnier if your friends payed him to do that.
Philerup31 12
Happy Birthday
Ma_Nikka 24
Did you spank him for doing that?