Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me an amazing orgasm after a long dry spell. I moaned his name as I climaxed, and he replied, "What?" FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend finally got me to orgasm, for the first time in my life, after trying for months. He started laughing when I climaxed. I asked why. Apparently I look like an Down's Syndrome child when I climax. FML
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Top comments
oj101 33
I see that he satisfied the equation.
xSavaqee 12
how does a math problem make you ******...?
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Comments (114)
xSavaqee 12
how does a math problem make you ******...?
NoFlippinWai 24
My ex used to talk nerdy to me to get me in the mood. Anything from Chemistry to Physics to software to videogames.
Rainhawk94 27
hey! Whatever works for you ...
TyT63 12
I feel like she's not giving him credit cause no one in my maths has ever O'd causa an equation
gsevison 6
Get this to 69 likes!!!
Letsgobarbie_fml 16
I present you the final like for the target: 69!
NoShit_Sherly 11
Doesn't mather, had sex
ksks1234 33
Since she was trying to figure it out for a week, I would assume it was the excitement of finally figuring it out. That plus the pleasure going on down there equals ******.
perdix 31
#1, what's the square root of 69? 8-something. Was that good for you?
bubblyhayley 16
#20 FAR FAR FAR too much information!
MV3_Heat_Fan 13
Because math is great to some of us
TheBrochure 22
Like if you understood perdix's reference to Drake's ridiculous lyric.
Bano360 25
#46 is now on -69 likes.
xx000o 27
There's sex in numbers, and numbers in sex.
tishtashbat 16
#20 - how about Klingon?
SarcasticShade 16
Math phone sex: can you solve me now?
oj101 33
I see that he satisfied the equation.
\ 28
He completed the square.
Kristoffer 35
But did he satisfy both sides of it?
MoellerCrusader 1
But after that did they add up the x and y?
TheBrochure 22
#72 - I now understand and appreciate your joke. I'm sorry I thumbed you down.
noobsatin 19
you figured out how to solve your ****** problem. if it was a problem.
RavenDesired 10
Okay then.
SimplyBird 9
that was the best, most creative comment I've ever seen *slow clap*
MrSassypants 34
#26 Then you should see my creative comments. They include these timeless classics: "Lol." "Hahaha." "YDI" "thats a shitty situation" "First!" and the best of the best "He's a keeper!"
gotaplanstan 28
you forgot my personal favorite - "dump him/her"
sirradel 14
Aren't we all forgetting: "Sue that asshole!"
Robbieisadowg 16
Don't forget "I hope you mean Ex...".
TheLittleBear 19
And of course, the ever-popular "that sucks"
expertsmilee 26
Or my personal favorite, "The elderly strike again!"
vlalam 24
Whatever it takes to make it work ;)
macelonel 26
must have been a hard equation.
rivaraven 35
What was the problem?
djsammyc 19
good question
ktiskool 18
Math? Of all things, math? Why not something normal like Johnny Depp?
tj4234 36
You would be surprised how many people get turned on by nerdy things tbh...
MrSassypants 34
That negative number under the radical sign turns me on. Oh yeah, you naughty number. You're not supposed to be there but you are. You are just a sexy little number. It's like you're not even real.
loawe 10
Giggity!
liketenpandas 6
totally read that it peter griffins voice, Idk if that was intended or not though, and the giggity after kinda topped it off haha.
SecsNoises 6
Actually, to add my 2c, it's very possible that letting your mind wander caused you to ******, not solving the math problem. Orgasms can kind of be like watching a pot boil. Concentrating on 'Can I feel it yet? How 'bout now? ... Now?' can distract you.
glitterkuro 18
Was just about to leave this exact same comment. Concentrating too hard on sex can often have the opposite effect to what you intend. Letting your mind wander a bit is actually more helpful than overthinking it, especially in that position where I find it's easy to feel self conscious and worry that you're not enjoying it enough/haven't come yet, etc. Not thinking about it can calm you and relax you enough that you're able to ******.
rhcpgurl 18
That must be the nerdiest thing I've ever heard in my life.
reaxion 25
#10, you hear messages that you read on the Internet?
DropTheDaggerxx 31
#58, you take everything you read on the internet literally?
False_Stupidity 42
It's possible! Ever heard of text-to-speech #58?