Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me an amazing orgasm after a long dry spell. I moaned his name as I climaxed, and he replied, "What?" FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend finally got me to orgasm, for the first time in my life, after trying for months. He started laughing when I climaxed. I asked why. Apparently I look like an Down's Syndrome child when I climax. FML
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Top comments
oj101 33
I see that he satisfied the equation.
xSavaqee 12
how does a math problem make you ******...?
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Comments (114)
Wizardo 34
I guess the sum of your mind added to the power of his tongue equated to a factorial ******, integrate this into future encounters...
AnonymousAlpaca1 18
Oh yeah! Keep talking dirty, baby!
imbedderdenu 23
looool nice!
Skylar16 2
I'm not sure that's a great compliment to himself...pretty sure male **** stars could not give two ***** about the women they are 'pleasing'. I'm not sure if anyone would know if they're any good at it or not, they're only down there for 30 seconds before they shove it in...
little_one1 14
I'm 99.9% sure all straight male **** stars decided to be **** stars to do the exact opposite of what you just said.
Dcm210 19
Did he like the taste? :-)
ffffffffck 13
Success is a huge turn on - even your own. Take that newfound piece of information and your now sexually confident-in-himself boyfriend and make that work in your favor :)
limabeans101029 21
Well if you managed to ****** there's not really a problem- he must've been doing something right :)
secretagent415 10
OH... Yeah just don't tell him that
Merylwen 24
Everybody knows **** stars have no skill.
little_one1 14
Yes, they're terrible actors! Makes me belligerent!
SamCat 21
whatever works op. my dh will never know about that extra push I give myself mentally sometimes to help out the situation ;) It's not like you are thinking of the neighbor or something.
crazydave1998 6
seriously?? you won't even give the guy a little credit???
perdix 31
I'm guessing you both finally figured out the latus rectum ;)