Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML


I agree, your life sucks (62132) - you deserved it (24363)

On 06/23/2013 at 6:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Top comments

Instead of buying a card, use the money on extra batteries.

#2 - On 06/23/2013 at 1:00pm by ladybuglet

See in context

Why do people bother trying to lie like this? You think you're the first girl to buy a dildo?

It's like the guy who buy a Penthouse and condoms. "No, the Penthouse is for my, uh, girlfriend. She likes the articles."

#4 - On 06/23/2013 at 1:00pm by DocBastard

See in context




Speak your mind, but please try and be respectful.

Top of the page

You must have an FML account to comment.

Don't have an FML account yet ? Sign up to FML!

Mselle Risa's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML Pics : The top 4 pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a boring bunch of words thrown at you by a corporate robot. That's true. Corporate robots are the worst. Anyway, the FML Pics app is still being downloaded all over the…

Tuesday 24 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: