Today, at work, I slipped and fell on my backside. The creepy security guard offered to 'kiss it better.' FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, before work, I was quickly cleaning when I tripped and the side of my neck hit the countertop, causing a dark bruise. During work, people wouldn't stop giving me high fives for getting laid and I was too embarrassed to tell them truth that I'm not desirable, just clumsy. FML
Today, I slipped at work while putting out a "wet floor" sign to make sure the customers didn't slip. FML
Today, I was walking into my office building when I tripped over a doormat and fell flat on my face right in front of the security guard. As I tried to stand up, I kicked the door, slamming shut with a dramatic bang. I looked up to see that the entire building lobby was watching. FML
Today, while working at my job at a nursing home, I slipped and fell. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just water. No, one of the residents had just had an "accident". FML
Today, at work, my manager accidentally bumped into me, brushing my behind with the back of his hand. He was a bit embarrassed, so I jokingly said, “You could at least buy me dinner first!” He went to HR and told them I made him uncomfortable. I was just trying to lighten the mood. FML
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
Today, within 24 hours at my new security job, I accidentally tasered the head of security in the groin, causing him to piss himself. FML
Today, at work, I tripped and fell face-first into a food display. As I picked myself up, totally humiliated, I tripped again and fell right back into it, earning a bunch of pitying looks from nearby customers. FML
Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML
Today, I walked into work to see my boss's hot son. I wanted him to notice me, so I did my "sexy walk". I then slipped and fell onto my desk, broke my desk, and sprained my wrist. Oh he noticed me alright. FML
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Top comments
Torva_fml 16
What a romantic! He sure knows how to get a lady...
cradle6 13
What an asshole. You should have yelled, "KISS MY ASS!" Oh wait...
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Comments (135)
Torva_fml 16
What a romantic! He sure knows how to get a lady...
brendafriesen 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I disagree, I think it's creepy. It's sexual harassment in the workplace.
Torva_fml 16
*facepalm* Please, tell me you're joking...... Do I need to insert a (sarcasm) next time?
J3R3MYY 14
I concur 14
Bobissmall 13
Steps to being romantic and not creepy: 1) Be attractive 2) Don't be unattractive
Awsumuzzie 12
1, I've realized that to be completely understood by all, you have to lower your IQ by at least 80%, I'm just offering to help. Also, we all know how romantic it is to give CPR, he should have offered that instead! Kiss and jiggle ;)
Bobissmall 13
It would also be a sick world we live in, where someone can get sued or fired for a comment like that. I shouldn't need to explain that what is considered "creepy" is subjective, and that the guy may not have even realised he was saying something which could have been construed as sexual.
Torva_fml 16
Steps to romance (legit ones): 1. Don't be an idiot 2. It's not all about looks 3. Above is dumb. 4. Rock lee isn't cool. 5. You can s..... Nevermind, they'll moderate me.
mrfreak219 3
#11 Sexual Harassment? It's a joke! Like Bobissmall said, the OP wouldn't conisder it creepy if the security guard wasn't old or ugly.
Bobissmall 13
Rock Lee is amazing, obviously. Why do you say these harsh things? And there are several videos on YT poking fun at how easy it is to "Sexually Harass" someone, but how looks can play a large part! There is no point arguing over this however, as we each will have our own opinions, and it seems that mine is the least popular judging by the down votes.
changesinme 0
That's when you say KISS MY ARSE and start running
Torva_fml 16
Sorry 49, you're an hour late. Replying to my comment doesn't mean you said it first. But nice try.
bruinboy44 0
Did he follow you home
rimmyJ 0
Well..did you let him kiss it better?
waswashere 0
I bet the security guard was big sean
kjcookie10 9
Ummm.... Ok?
ForeverUnemplyed 0
Maybe he is some kind of wizard with special healing kisses, using the janitor job as a disquise hmmmm.....
ForeverUnemplyed 0
Fawkk I misread this fml -_-
Thatoneguy021 0
You shouldve told him "sure if you think back hair is sexy" :)
cooLING 0
Somehow, I get the feeling that you went to OW...
shovels 0
I ?bet he was joking...
narrowords 18
That's when you say, "No, but f*^# you very much."
TheDrifter 24
Exactly, but with a smile, he can't help looking creepy, but I'm sure he'll appreciate being turned down politely for a change.
Teehee2 0
That security guard might miscontrue that as I want to fuc you very much.
Jakesterk96 8
No, that's when you say kiss my.... Wait a minute....
VoodooGypsy 2
It doesn't help to be mean to protection. He may not try to save you if a disaster happens.
J3R3MYY 14
Forget about all the pain and RUN!
theten_fml 9
OP: and now I feel like new again!
akallaan 7
So... Did you let him? ;)
thenoobftw 3
He just wants to make you feel better.
cradle6 13
What an asshole. You should have yelled, "KISS MY ASS!" Oh wait...
TheMaster15 10
He was only trying to help!
markrs 0
I'm guessing he also offered to follow you all the way home without your permission...Oh, you didn't know Op?