Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took off my socks after I got home from the gym. Later, I found my fiance sniffing them, with an enormous boner in his pants. Ew. Ewwww. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML
Today, I noticed my girlfriend wiping her sweaty armpits with the small towel that I always use to wipe my face with after shaving. Now I know why the towel smells so bad. FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelled my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML
Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML
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Top comments
dudeitsdanny 10
She sniffed your sweaty crotch to see if you cheated? She took that chance? That's seriously psychotic. Nothing grosser than sweaty junk. Run, dude. Run before she picks up your scent! You'll never lose her once she does!
GingerFro 0
fyl she's got issues
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Comments (459)
GingerFro 0
fyl she's got issues
lulututu 4
for reall I'm a crazy girlfriend but that's just insane!!
angel_831 0
the girls to protective
Matt_Lord_Of_The 3
maybe your behavior has been suspicious lately...
rbubbles 20
talk about insecure..
ColdplaySucks 18
You should shove it into her face and say, "I won't cheat if you can suck it good."
Minecraftaddict 0
- "Let me smell your penis" - "What?" - "Your penis. let me smell it." - "What?" - "Are you deff? Let me smell your penis!" - "What?"
noto_fml 0
Those issues will go away once she gets help for her drug problem. and I'm not talking about weed.
hollysterT 0
;)
VinegarStrokes 0
42 go back to playing minecraft. That was such a dumb ******* comment. And OP, I assume you haven't been cheating on your girl but in light of recent events I suggest you begin cheating without the use of a condom. It's better that way regardless. now, enjoy the rest of your short lived relationship. I'm not saying "short lived" because either one of you will be ending it soon, I'm saying it because I have a strong feeling that this crazy bitch is going to poison your lemon-lime Gatorade with antifreeze within the next 60 days. CALLING IT!!!
shannonreneee 11
76, chill the **** out. That comment was hilarious.
dudeitsdanny 10
Ehhh... I'd give it a 6.5/10 in hilarity. Lost that .5 because it's deaf, not deff, and cringing makes me enjoy jokes a little less. But 76 just looked like an ass who maybe needs to start playing minecraft, since he/she has too much time on his/her hands
VinegarStrokes 0
84 what made that comment so humorous? Maybe I'm legitemately misunderstanding it?
YourMomxD 8
At first I thought "WTF?? What is deff?" Then I realized I am slow…
Jimmyd0t 0
ehh it was kinda funny, not hilarious though. I chuckled a bit :3
MeBeYourFriend 0
how is that comment not funny? He just stated what must have happened and been very weird. its not HILARIOUS but it is funny. and whats also funny is how his pic matches his name and description!
MilkShakez 0
ask her to lick it and taste for latex instead
austinkiser 3
you should have told her to taste your penis!
iluvhobos 5
"Can I smell yo dick?! Don't play me like a fool, 'cause that ain't cool, so what you need to do is let me smell yo dick!!" No one's heard that song?? Smell Yo Dick by Riskay..
itsalwaysYDI 0
haha. I didn't even think of him NOT using one..good job thinking of that one!! :)
Aim4thebullseye 4
or ..."can you say that into the microphone please?"
amuck 0
yes I have, but I know her personally cause she lives in Bartow Fl, Polk County... and everybody knows everyone in Polk County
fmlbiach 0
124, that song is what popped in my mind xD
BradenSings 0
HAHAHA!!
TobyFunke 3
there is literally nothing funny about it, its not a joke, there's no punchline, its just someone saying let me smell your dick... glad you arent a TV producer so that show will stay off the air
gideeupp 9
42- "Say what again!" hahah
zakkyzebra 11
I find it humorous that everyone found the humor in 42's comment while one person, ONE person, managed to miss it...
eshhayz 0
you should in equality ask if you can sniff her pungent pussy for rotten fish aromas ?
loveatfirstsite 0
exactly what I was thinking!
natirixoxo 0
wow just.. wow
no65438 0
124, WTF!!
wtfurcrazy 0
bahahahahahaaha win!!
Idonebeenhad 17
make her suck it
Jelizondo 1
I assuming OP cheated on her before. That would cause this behavior.
sheethapins 13
151 Haha
XxAmygirlxX 0
"Why you coming home, at five in the morn'? Now what you need to do is let me smell yo' dick"
sheraden0705 0
what a moron.
samiam666 0
well obviously OP has cheated on her many many times.
IronZombie 0
at least it didn't smell like rank pussy
NG1634 8
Reminds me of a Tosh.0 Smell yo Dick....
Rosser121 0
lol I'm sure she loved the smee
Rosser121 0
smell
suhbreena21 0
SWEATY PENIS IS MY AIR FRESHNER HAHAHA
ragzy 7
No you meant smee
iSitt 0
gf must be hot for op to put up with such a trustless relationship.
AngryCanadian 0
Shove it in her mouth the next time she tries
bigboughner 0
ha, why would u smell a penis? just say u were trying to be a magician and blow up a balloon with your penis, if she sniffs it I bet she'll believe that. XD
ThaHero 0
Not "xD"... That's not even remotely laughable.....
AngryCanadian 0
Dicks can't queef, how the **** would you blow up a balloon?
savs11 13
"magically"
thatnucca 36
Can she smell paranoia tho?
FreebirdIII 1
Did she enjoy smelling the sweaty sack??
katsteak 0
let me smell yo dick...
Iwashere12345 0
apparently not
dudeitsdanny 10
She sniffed your sweaty crotch to see if you cheated? She took that chance? That's seriously psychotic. Nothing grosser than sweaty junk. Run, dude. Run before she picks up your scent! You'll never lose her once she does!
walleneve 2
what if she catches up.?! lol
ericb8272 2
sorry man, I'm 30 and I go to your girlfriends gym.
emily14swim 0
hahahahahahaha
HannahForbesxo 13
If she catches up you could try the old, "LOOK BEHIND YOU" and run away when she turns around, trick.
walleneve 2
it doesnt work on everyone u noe.
Kawboy 1
I'm sure after smelling his sweaty balls and he takes off running he's gonna sweat more. In return he will keep smelling worse so he's basically ****** unless he runs to a wishing well and washes off! Really tho, I can't beleive she wanted to smell your shit like that op. fyl
walleneve 2
haha very funny!
MyDixiNormous 0
You can't run away. Women. They smell fear. ..And apparently any latex.
1215116a 14
60, *know.
jeterdude23 0
know*
zakkyzebra 11
68, OP "shit" was never sniffed...
ihaterats 0
what if ur boxers were made out of latex?!
imosim 0
really 112? it's not like you didn't know what she meant? if you have not noticed the "e" and "w" are right next to each other and she could have just missed the "k". are you that desperate to troll people's spelling?
dudeitsdanny 10
222- It should have been.. What if he was playing bottom for the other team? =O
Newboyz00185 0
Do i sense a ******* in your future?!
skatergirl33 0
hahaha i like it!(:
cheerleader1998 0
do u have a problem ?
hollylollyxoxo 0
I think that's just her way of covering up her obsession with the smell of sweaty balls.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
ewwwww
BigOrca 2
To each there own. I love seeing a woman get all sweaty and glisten w sweat. I can see her liking the smell, but wrong way to cover up her story.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
disgusting bigOrca just disgusting
smoke2weeds 0
go rawwww, tell her to smell that.
Insomniaddict 0
Raw dogging some randoms
deathtrap 0
she can smell the syphallis and aids I'm sure
bettyc4 26
Lmfao!!!!!!!
Mirorbo 27
I've heard of controlling men sniffing a woman's crotch to make sure she didn't cheat, but NEVER the other way around. Darling, get out of that relationship. NOW!
limblessorphan 4
yes indeed, this could turn out dangerous. believe me that obsessed women can get violantly dangerous. watch out!
kangaru1 0
how do u know whether or not he brought this on himself by being unfaithful prior?
ericb8272 2
why do men smell women's crotches? does semen leave a smell?
ReynshineCutting 10
Yes because every time a person has a single trust issue you forget about everything else and just up and leave regardless of how much you love them. Solid relationship advice right there. That's one reason why the divorce rate is so high. Come on people.
Iriz 0
yea, u don't even have to get close to the pewe or the V to smell it...
TheNewGuy03 29
@248: yeah, that would be a pretty damn good reason why the divorce rate is so high. however, in this case, op isn't married, and it would be better if he broke it off now instead of later when they are married. op's girl's actions are a little off the deep end. i must also mention that, while having a single trust issue is fairly normal, when everything becomes a big deal, that's a ticking time bomb. |the kid|
ReynshineCutting 10
Married or not if you care about someone you try to work things out before you just leave.
Darcon 8
tell her, if shes thinkin like dat, we are history!
meatbeat 5
make her taste it
easyboy4u 0
haha nice