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Anonymous Richland, United States

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

419

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Fall

Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.

Same thing different taste

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Top comments

Psych101 9

"I fell on it?"

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Comments (419)

Steffi 26

Woah.

wellfuuucckme 7

-___________-t

sens3sfailing 25

This is something I'd expect doc to have to have dealt with.

PinkieKeen 20

Booty call.

mariah_1_11 22

Finders keepers?

unknown_user5566 27

1- Woah, man. That was deep.

NzaHaFML 13

Moments when "shove it up your ass" is taken literally.

Kn0wledge123 21

I'm still wondering how the hell they managed to do that...

Drigr 9

67, lube, lots of lube..

Rille_Krille 13

109, Talking from experience or just "common" sense?

Hockeyboy4280 18

From experience

CanWeMicrowaveIt 11

Must have been a pain in the phone to get that out..... I'm not good at puns..

pokefan813 16

#121 How did you know he was speaking from experience? Were you there to witness it?

Drigr 9

121 knows it is from experience because he came to me and asked me to please insert his new iPhone 5 into his rectum, and it took 3 bottles of lube.

tygerarmy 35

57- in the patient's rectum.

PrimeEvilTahir 24

I wonder if this FML was written in that iphone....?

shoopd 19

Good thing Apple has those patented rounded corners...

peanutfoo 19

how does that work?!

MrBrightside21 20

I bet Syri was pissed. Don't get Syri mad. She'll drive you into a pond.

The1CalledGOAT 11

141- a pain in the app

PrimeEvilTahir 24

What was the patient's excuse? They were following direction on the new maps app and ended up in the ass hole?!

p3mguin 7

Siri^

ruabadfishtoo 0

*siri

gabbybmo 5

lol, win

BulldogHoops 14

And Buzz Killington makes an undercover cameo under the guise of #150!

tisvana20 6

226, you know Siri liked it.

mduffy08 8

I could on imagine what would happen if he butt-hole dialed someone...

sheethapins 13

Hope he had APP+...

FMLpuppy 3

Did DocBastard post this FML?

perdix 31

Whoa, indeed! I'll bet they haven't made the Goatse case for the iPhone 5 yet, so the patient improvised.

MissMae93 23

You spelt Siri incorrectly... Twice.

Jjgibbs 5

The patient was just trying to find the best wifi

sens3sfailing 25

317-I already said something mentioning doc...please don't be so redundant.

senor_awesome 14

366-its alright. no reason to get butt hurt

sens3sfailing 25

Ummm how was I butt hurt? I said politely to not be redundant. I didn't call them any childish names, or actually get mad, it was just a redundant comment to what I said. I doubt they noticed my comment mentioning doc. I was just saying

klrindal 2

Yea buddy

MDTeddy 13

The iphone 5 must have one hell of a vibration.

laden_swallow09 35

381- You missed the joke, here.

sens3sfailing 25

What joke? Being told not to get butt hurt over something I admittedly just left alone? I'm not seeing how it was funny in any way...

LlamaUprising 10

Classy.

143dav 8

Just like your display picture.

GypsyRover 0

Lol. Now THAT'S cellphone service!

GypsyRover 0

Lol. There's a ass for that.

DarkHelmet 10

So many questions to ask on this post I don't even know where to start...

rsunshine2020 13

Doesn't matter, still an iPhone.

scottish_elf 0

My dad once told us about a patient of his who had a ***** broken off in his ass... The patient claimed his wife did it while he was asleep. Lol. Sure....

bossman47 0

Very

GracesDelirium 9

I wonder if the patient was looking for a wifi hotspot....

48Connor 10

I wonder If the vibrate was turned on

folfg0 12

Damn! What an asshole!

GypsyRover 0

91. Lmao! You would be happy to have a cellphone from someone's ass! In my 33 years of life,you have managed to be the most greedy, shameless person I have ever heard of!

cjack188 13

My friend told me once that he had a patient who had a "buzz-lighter" wedged up his arse. To infinity and beyond alright......

bbgman 4

Does it at least work?

jetsown08 21

Who cares? No way in hell I'd ever use an iPhone that's been up someone's ass.

PushMyButtons 5

"Hey, you got the new iPhone 5!" "Yeah, I got it out of my patients ass."

feldco1 17

No, I heard it works pretty shitty. I tried.

SamanthaCassieL 10

Nope- recent calls- kept it on vibrate and kept calling. When it stopped vibrating he took himself in.

Inheritance 10

What guy in there right mind would shove an iPhone 5 up their ass? I mean if you hate Steve jobs don't be an ass about it.

ninjawatcher 2

Who said it was a guy?

diego2k5 6

I wonder if this voids the warranty...

Tolarie 13

If it didn't work, the next question becomes: does the warranty cover this?

jacquesromualdez 12

Yeah could've been worse though. A Galaxy SIII or an iPad.

pipeline101 6

You could always spray it with febreez and sell it on eBay as slightly *USED*

wellfuuucckme 7

Is the iPhone 5 really that attractive ?

143dav 8

I guess they were doing it gangnam style..

unknown_user5566 27

Siri is pretty sexy, man...

Warden1986 16

#70 Siri would be sexy if, she looked like The Big Bang Theory episode.

Misskayfoyer 14

#112- OMG I love you for that comment :)

PrimeEvilTahir 24

#4 - Just wondering... Do you put everything that you find attractive up your anus?

laden_swallow09 35

56, you're not even doing it right.

tomhofer 14

I heard the maps sucked but not that bad.

vbmg152 19

WTF??

TrueTriage 16

No app for that one...

Autoshot 9

43 I guess there is - iAnal.

tygerarmy 35

That app is only available on the new iPooed

Sandman366 6

I would ask what happened, but actually, I DON'T want to know.

Athleticism 11

206- If you didn't want to know, why did you make that comment?

Kimitte 1

5 - That is the first thing I said when I read this FML.

iCherryPanda 12

Oh no, WHY?! ):

BeforeItWasCool 12

Maybe because they shoved it up their ass? And, maybe, just use a little logic here, OP is a doctor of some kind, making it OP's job. That'd most likely be why.

lacespace 8

Because he wanted to Instagram his asshole.

gabbybmo 5

I think she meant why would anybody put a phone in their asshole

CallMeMcFeelii 14

264- She wasn't thumbed down because of the comment, it was all from the :( face. :( + Internet = lots of >: | people. Know what I mean or are you O.o?

gabbybmo 5

lol I know what ya mean

Cartera 10

That has to be a wide ass-hole.

mhterp90 17

It's smaller then the last one so it will fit.

maosquare 18

Well, it's not so much whether it's a wide ass hole. Rather - was it bleached?

saffy66 34

If it wasn't before, it is now!

Misskayfoyer 14

#184 - I wish I could thumb that up more than once xD

thefatman38 4

That's money right there #184!!! Bonus round

trulymickeyj 13

Did they die?

manurwickd 1

Did what die???

Ferretface 13

Yes.

iiDangerCloseBK 6

Yes...

peachyFML 17

... But they lived!

SenselessPattern 12

Now let's put it all together! Did it die? Yes. Yes, it did. But it still lived! Well, that didn't help anything.

Psych101 9

"I fell on it?"

emilyjgraham 34

I once saw a girl who said she'd been jumping on her bed and fell on an aerosol can... saying that an aerosol can is much easier to get up a rectum that a phone :/ bizarre behaviour!

Virginia6810 16

Maybe when the patient feels better he/she will post about it in a new FML and all of our questions will be answered.

twinkiefeets 17

Uh she's lying!

leeburns 5

One in a million doc one in a million!!!!!!

ArielTheMermaid 17

There's no app for that

priceyfml 7

That's just odd