Today, I had to have a discussion with my 54-year-old mother about showering. She thinks it's perfectly OK to shower only once a week. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I actually had to have a discussion with my boyfriend about why he should shower more than once a week. FML
Today, my mom revoked my shower privileges for a week, all because I'm “using too much water.” I'm the kind of person who will smell like garbage after one skipped shower. FML
Today, as the only female manager, I had to talk to a worker about her hygiene. I asked if she had the means and a place to shower. She rolled her eyes and said of course she did, but found daily bathing unnecessary, and that a couple times a month does her just fine. The whole staff would disagree. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 65-year-old mother that it is inappropriate for her to walk around in front of me in her underwear. Her response? "Too bad." FML
Today, my mom yelled at me because even though I shower thoroughly twice a day, I still stink. My mom showers once a week, never wears deodorant, and smells like roses. FML
Today, I confronted my 18-year-old daughter about her excessively lengthy showers. She said she didn't see the big deal, considering the water "comes free with the house." No dear, it doesn't. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML
Today, I got into a screaming match with the mother of my kids. I told her they need to bathe more often. According to her, anything more than once a week is excessive and bad for their skin. My kids play sports and smell like puppies from the pound. She doesn’t care. FML
Today, I had to tell my 30 year-old boyfriend to take a shower, or else he won't for a week. FML
Today, my mother told me to take a quick shower. When I got out, she told me I took too long, and now I have to pay the utilities bill. My shower was two minutes long. FML
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Top comments
Pentium_4 27
i hope she at least wears deoderant, or things would get bad pretty quickly. maybe she's trying to force you to move out? haha
Buttsexpirate 9
That's naaasty.
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Comments (95)
dubgarden 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You need a new one
NickyK 25
You need a new brain.
homieskillet 0
What does that even mean..?
NickyK 25
If you're referring to 1 he's trying to say that OP needs a new mother.
thisisafunnyname 12
You can buy a new mother for $24.95 on Craigslist.
RedPillSucks 33
Ohhh. Mother with benefits...
TourettesGuyFTW 26
NickyK- YOU need a new sense of humour.
NickyK 25
Says the person whose user is TourettesGuyFTW..
CrazyAsian77 5
80- Best comeback this week. +1 to you sir.
aimeesea75 16
And how exactly does one go about getting a new mother?
NickyK 25
I feel so honored now. Some people took my side of FML. :) (non sarcastic)
louiseth 9
104, refer to 85's comment.
Buttsexpirate 9
That's naaasty.
Stallion91 6
We have a smelly situa... No? Too far? I see. I'll smell myself outside then...
LightningCactus 12
Get help 19.
PvtParts417 15
I read this in a Cleveland voice
ambowew 7
Nah, I read it in Randall's voice. Just like the honey badger, OP's mother just doesn't give a shit.
fymother 13
Sounds like finals period in college!
hypuuurness 6
41- yep...me too lol :)
kelissa_fml 16
My sister thinks once every two weeks. I feel bad for you op. STINKY!
imepelepticsir 5
what! i thought showers where once a month.
thesoccerone7 3
My grandpa thinks they are only for weddings...last one 2 years ago...
midnightxloner 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Hmmm. Anyone else smell fish?
DCFan 9
No.
Roevera 14
Close your legs!
AssassinsCRB 0
Stupid comment much?
AssassinsCRB 0
Stupid comment much?
HaTeRzZ 0
Wow
homieskillet 0
Well let her do what she wants , she's old enough to make her choices..but still I wouldn't be near her ehh
Rocky007 15
You say that like she's elderly. She's only 54!
homieskillet 0
54 is elderly..
RedPillSucks 33
Only if you act it.
desireev 18
25- 54 is not elderly! You have to be 55 to be a senior citizen! 70 is the beginning of elderly. And that's slightly pushing it. There are many 70-year-olds who are still actively working and going to amusement parks and doing all the 'hip things' them 'teenie-boppers' are doing. Point is.. 54 is not, in the least bit, old.
homieskillet 0
Mhmm I guess that's something new I learned today, sorry if I was offensive I totally wasn't well informed about it I guess
silentbutfunny 0
70 is baby boomers. That i belive is elderly
MoodyBlue320 11
Okay, not bathing everyday doesn't mean you smell bad people. -_- I bathe minimally once a week and probably three times at most. I'm perfectly fine, no one in my house complaints(and trust me, my parents are the first to complain about ANYTHING) and my boyfriend is perfectly fine with it and doesn't find me gross.
Dilwann 27
Same. Once a week minimum (once didn't shower in like two weeks... but I didn't have to go outside and I was really lazy). No complaints either. And of course you use deodorant... like all the time.
Pentium_4 27
i hope she at least wears deoderant, or things would get bad pretty quickly. maybe she's trying to force you to move out? haha
1happymummy 14
Ew, Im itching to get in the shower as soon as i've had my breakfast, you feel ready for the day!
datoismyname 22
That "stinks" for you bro.
IBelongToJeebus 0
You're a punny one...
NoobCommenter96 0
Convince her somehow to get a shower : S
Wederoney 16
Tell her it's a non-optional social convention.
jideare 3
At least it's not your gf havin a shower 1ce a week
ChaosAngel17 14
I thought OP was a girl. Unless she's a lesbian...
zakkyzebra 11
12, homophobic pig. Nah. I'm just kidding. But you do have to look at all aspects of the situation.... I find it funnier that way.
crazyjack 0
Dude, you know I only shower once a week, because I don't alot, but I still wash my arm pits and privates nearly every day at the sink, and trust me, it's fine. I for example live in a house where you have to make a fire to have hot water for showering, and you don't want to do that more than once a week
MustangGirl72 9
I think I'd rather light a fire for hot water or take a cold shower than go a week without showering.
hecseferblade 1
if you cant convince her, spray her with a hose