Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML
Today, after coming home from the hospital after I fractured my foot, I fell in the bathroom and dislocated my wrist. The ER doctor couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML
Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML
Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened, I slipped and fell in the shower, and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered, "Well, she's masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!" FML
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom burst into my room to ask if I was okay because she thought the squeaking was me crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
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Top comments
BellTink 0
well....did you?
lmfp 0
A) how would she know? B) how is that even possible?
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Comments (59)
tyler159 0
Roflmao
stephy_fml 0
Wow that is amaZing!!! Either your mom loves to make jokes or you need to take it easy when you are doing that from now on!!! LOL
funnyandcrappy 0
Either way...your mom was wrong. Joking or not. Not a "good mother moment" for her.
shmaller 0
I hope you're ambidextrous.
WFMS 0
That's awesome. That your mom has that kind of sence of humor. Not the breaking your wrist thing. That sucks
Taolan 23
Your mom is awesome. xD Appropriate comeback: "Mom, it's kind of creepy knowing you watch me **********."
Stevenj 0
your mom , 1. You , 0.
FML_Add1cT 0
Tight ass momma haha
dan81892 2
well... did you?
mongorian 0
Fake. There is only one person in the world who can jerk so hard the breaks his wrist. Chuck Norris.
MrRocknTwigs 6
Chuck Norris can't break his wrist.